Page 67 of Steeling Her
We walk in together, and he holds the door open for me. We head straight to the counter to get our shoes. The employee flits her eyelashes at Ryan and I try not to giggle.What is with these guys and all of these girls?They look like they don’t notice it half of the time; it’s probably because they’re used to it.
“I hope you and your sister have a good time,” she says seductively. Sister?I don’t look like him,I thought to myself. I start eyeing Ryan’s features to see what part of us look alike.
“Actually, were on a date.” He takes my hand, and I hear a gasp leave her mouth. Pulling me away to get to our lane, we climb down the steps, our feet sliding along the floor.
Ryan types in both our names and he turns around to smile at me. “You ready to get annihilated?” The smugness is evident in his tone. I’m so nervous, I actually nod stupidly to his question. I face palm myself when he starts laughing at me. “Hey, chill, Carter. It’s just me.” I smile back at his kindness.
He’s trying to make me feel comfortable. I feel so out of place. It’s probably just because I’m so nervous?
Half an hour into the game, he kept his promise in annihilating me. I knew athletes would be competitive, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. I wonder if Nick is this competitive?
Stop that. You’re with someone else, you can’t think about him.
I shake my head, ridding the memory. I stand up because it’s my turn. There’s at least a one hundred point difference between me and Ryan. I take the lightest ball and walk to the line, throwing it as best I can. It’s heading straight down the middle and towards the pins. Am I going to get my first strike of the night?
Please. Please. Please. Just one. Oh God, just this once.
I cross my fingers while trying not to yell at the damn ball every time it threatens to swerve left or right. Everything seems to be in slow motion as I watch impatiently for the ball to meet the standing pins.
Crash.
Every single one of them falls down, and I stand there in complete shock. I got a strike. I start jumping up and down and clapping like a seal out of water;I practically look like an idiot. Once I spin around, I see Ryan is smiling at me with two thumbs up, and I grin so hard at him.
“Nice one!” he cheers to me, and I sit back on the seat beside him.
“Thanks,” I shyly reply back to him. I feel his eyes on me so I turn back around to face him. I was right, he’s still staring at me. I feel my cheeks blush from the attention.Why is he staring at me? Oh shit, do I have something in my face?
“You look really pretty tonight, Carter.” He places his arm around the back of the seat I’m in, leaning in closer to me. I stand up abruptly and tell him I need to make a call. He nods, smiling up at me, and I walk back out the front doors, nearly fumbling over my own feet trying to get away.
I call Danielle and wait for her to answer.
“Hello?” She finally answers on the sixth ring, sounding slightly breathless but I honestly don’t want to know.
“Danielle!” I say in a panic.
“Carter? What’s up? Aren’t you meant to be out with Ryan?” she quizzes me. What am I doing?
“Yeah, I’m on the date now . . .” I wander off, trying to figure out why I actually called her. I shudder at the word. Why did I call her?
“Okay . . . so you’re calling me because . . .?” I wait a few seconds to answer her, but I can’t think of anything to say. “Are you alright, Carter? You’re breathing really heavy right now.” I hear her shuffle around. I now consciously hear my own breathing. It’s going one hundred miles an hour.
Shit. I’m having a panic attack. Why now of all times?
“Carter, just listen to me. Breathe in and out, okay? Copy me. In . . . out . . . in . . . out . . . Keep doing that and say it back to me” she instructs me. “Okay . . . Now, tell me what’s up? Is it Ryan? Did he say something?” Shaking my head no.She can’t see you Carter!
“No no, he hasn’t said anything. He’s been so nice . . . really nice . . . but . . .” I don’t know how to say it nicely. I’m just not feeling anything with him. I feel so guilty that I’ve lead him on. I shouldn’t have agreed to this date. I mentally berate myself.
“But what? You can tell me? Are you not feeling it?” I shake my head only to realize she can’t see me.
“Danielle, I feel awful that I don’t feel anything with him, even though I think he feels something with me. I feel like I’ve lead him on . . .” I huff at how stupid I was to agree to this. The guilt is sitting in my stomach and it’s heavy. I can’t do anything about it, I feel so shitty.
“Okay, but it’s still so early for you two. You might end up actually liking him, maybe only as a friend? Just go back in and keep going until it’s over, then make your decision,” she coaches me through this. I’m so bad at these things.Thank God she knows what to do.
“What if he asks me out again?” I blurt out, scared of the proposition. I don’t know if I want to go out with anyone.
“Then answer him honestly.” I sigh, knowing she’s right. I should go back inside, it’s been a long time.
“Okay, I’ll see you guys later then?” Hearing her agree, we hang up.
