Page 271 of Steeling Her
“You know, you could have told me about this little swimming lesson you planned,” I say pointedly as I set the boxes down on the lounge chairs he’s standing next to.
“If I had told you, you wouldn’t have come and you know that.” He grins wolfishly, knowing that he’s correct; and he is. I probably wouldn’t have come here because it’s the one fear I have that I don’t mess around with.
“And that would have given me less anxiety,” I respond smartly.
“Then I wouldn’t have gotten to see you.” He wraps both arms around my shoulders and cradles me in his big arms. It’s then that I notice he’s not wearing the straps on his shoulder to help with the healing like I had instructed, and he starts laughing when he looks at my face. He knows about what I’m thinking. “I took them off because we were going swimming. I don’t want to go to sleep with a wet tape on my shoulder, Carter. You can top me up afterwards,” he says and pulls me in closer so my face rests on his chest.
I wrap both of my arms around his waist and hold him like I don’t want to ever let him go.Never again.Also, I may or may not be trying to distract him from the ungodly lesson that I’m desperately trying to get out of.
We never talk about it but I always look at and trace the tattoos he’s decorated his skin with when he’s not looking or when he’s sleeping peacefully next to me. I stare at his left peck for a little longer than I thought. He pulls back a bit and peers down at me while I ogle his chest. All the ink on his body surprised me at first, but I have become used to it by now. They suit him.
“Come on.” He gestures towards the water and I groan back, thinking I had gotten away with it, while he drags me to the steps that lead down into the pool.
“Do I have to?” I groan as I watch him lower himself into the warm water, expecting me to follow suit. I stand at the edge as I watch his back muscles mesmerize me as he disappears. He turns himself around, expecting to see me, and frowns when he sees me standing alone at the side of the pool. He tilts his head and raises himself up out of the water to come and collect me. He holds a hand out for me to take and waits.
“Come on, little one. You have me,” he whispers.
“And pizza,” I joke, making him chuckle and nod.
“And pizza,” he repeats but stays as he is. “Come on, I’ll tell you the stories behind all of these,” he coaxes me as he looks down at the black ink on his body, inviting me to come for a swim with him.
He’s a good negotiator. He knows I’ve been wanting to know about his tattoos and what they mean to him; his thoughts behind them, the stories, and the reasons. Why he got them, and why those particular ones? They are tasteful, but I can’t help but think about why he got them in the first place.
What urged him to go to that place?
Me?
Probably?
“Okay, fine,” I pull the shirt off my body and inhale, trying to gather my thoughts. He raises himself out of the water and walks toward me, taking both of my hands in his. He slowly and gently pulls me into the water. He knows that I’m very nervous. Even I can even hear my breath shaking. The water feels nice but I’m still so scared.
“Well, you should only stay here for now so you can feel the bottom of the pool. We’ll keep at it until you feel more confident in the water with me and on your own, okay?” he whispers and lifts me into his arms effortlessly with the help of the water. “That may take some days, months, or even years, but I promise you that we’ll do this at your own pace, okay?” He pulls me closer to his body so we’re pressed against one other, one hand on my back and the other holding me up from underneath my butt.
“You doing okay?” Nick checks on me and my racing heart rate. I am flooded with memories of how I felt that night. The feeling of the water on my skin is bittersweet because the last time I felt this, I thought I was going to drown.
“N-Nervous,” I respond. I can’t even form a full sentence; my mind is on high alert in case he lets go of me. I can’t swim all that confidently.
“It’s okay to feel nervous, Carter,” He gently pinches my chin and lifts it up a bit so that I am facing him and focusing on him. He smiles tenderly. “So, pick one and I will tell you the story behind it.” He begins to take my mind off the water.
“Your first one,” I ask, taking advantage of the opportunity he’s giving me. I want to know absolutely everything about the ink on his skin.
“This one . . .” He points to his left peck, the one I knew it would be.
His eyes never once leave mine when he speaks.
C.S.
VI.XXII.MCMXCIV
“I got this the day we broke up, which wasn’t a very good day for either of us. I got really drunk and went to the nearest tattoo parlor. It was at about three in the morning, and I was laying on the seat for the guy to do it. I had TJ with me trying to talk me out of it the entire time I was there,” he begins. I can see him picture it all in his mind. “It’s your initials, Carter Steel, and the day you were born,” he explains and I listen intently. “I had it placed there so I could have you close to my heart wherever I went. Even if you hated me at the time, I wanted you around—”
“I never hated you, Nick,” I confess. “I couldn’t have even if I tried.” I lean in for a soft kiss on his perfect lips. “Sure, I was disappointed in you at the time—and hurt—but I never hated you,” I whisper on his lips.
“I’m sorry I did that to you,” he responds.
“I know. It’s all water under the bridge. We’re moving on from it now, so continue with your stories. I promise I won’t interrupt again.” I smile to lighten the situation but also to hide my anxiety and the death grip I have on him so he won’t let me go.
He chuckles to me. “I love seeing you smile,” he compliments me before continuing where he left off. “I knew somewhere in the future that we’d see each other again; you might not have wanted to, but I did. Every morning, I would wake up and see the tattoo in the mirror on me; it gave me hope. I got it to believe in us and what we have, because I knew you felt it too,” he tells me a much deeper story than what’s on the surface. “It was the closest thing I had to waking up with you in the morning and falling asleep at night with you.”
