Page 236 of Steeling Her
But I’m not going to lie, I feel lighter having said what I said. I’m glad I did this—I’m glad I made the trip down here, even it took me five years to do it and a much needed kick from Mrs. Steel toreallydo it.
I said my piece, but it’s time to clean up the mess that I made, both figuratively and literally. I first start with the literal mess that I’ve made and make my way over to the wall where I threw the plate. I bend over and collect the shattered fragments. I pick them up one by one, being careful to not cut myself. Delicately, I collect them in my hand and hold them tight.
Just as I am ready to leave out the door and retire for the night, I stop when my hand reaches the door handle. It hovers on it because of his voice.
“Did she have that look when you saw her again?” His question keeps me on the edge.
I smile like an idiot when I think back to when I saw her for the first time in five years. Thinking about her does that to me.
“No,” I say as I push the door open, hitting both my mom and Ellie who were pressed up against the door listening to the conversation, as predicted. I shake my head at the two of them for being so nosy and then turn to face my dad once again. “She didn’t have that look.” I walk out to the kitchen and dump the plate into the trash. “I’m sorry.” I kiss my mom’s cheek, apologizing to her for smashing her plate after washing my hands. “I’ll buy you a new set,” I promise and she swats her hand in the air.
“Don’t worry about it, sweetie.” She laughs it off, but I know it’ll bother her that she doesn’t have the complete set. She has always liked her kitchen utensils and dishes.
She wraps both arms around me and hugs me like she did earlier on. “You also need to stop eavesdropping on conversations,” I say pointedly and watch her smile back at me. I tilt to the side to catch my sister trying to sneak away. “And you don’t need to be picking up on her bad habits either.” I nudge my head towards our mom, who chuckles in response.
“Don’t listen to him, honey, you be nosy if you want to be nosy.” She rushes to Ellie and pinches her cheek.
I shake my head behind our mom and mouth, “Don’t do it.” My dad finally comes into the kitchen, and the room turns quiet; you could almost hear a pin drop. It was a little awkward but a lot less awkward than it was before I came home.
“Hey, listen, I’m going to go to bed. I’m beat, okay?” I squeeze my mom’s shoulder as I pass by her so I can go and retire early and get some peace and quiet in my old room. It may be redone, but it still has the same vibe as before.
“Alright, good night, sweetie.” My mom blows me a kiss and I wink at my sister. When I get to my father, we look at one another once more. My mom and sister hold their breaths in suspense.
We nod and I ascend.
***
Carter
I’ve kept myself busy for the past while, avoiding everything that I could think of that has to do with friends, family, and Nick.
I have kept to myself. I needed the time alone so I could think things over. I need to know what my body and heart are telling me.
But I know that there is one thing that is clear in my mind, the one thing that I’ve been avoiding the past few weeks. I’ve been working myself to the bone in order to keep myself preoccupied, but it hasn’t helped.
No matter how hard I try to distract myself, I keep going back to it.
So here I am, driving my way to his house. Green light after green light, I feel like the universe is backing me as I make my way down the streets of Los Angeles. It wants me to do this, to see him.
There is nobody around, not even a single car in sight. This is all where young professionals live. It’s not a family oriented estate, but I never expected him to live in one. He doesn’t like kids, and I know it is a struggle for him. It took us the entire relationship for him to warm up to Taylor and for her to warm up to him. In the back of my mind, an alarm is going off when they still wouldn’t make the effort to get to know one another even after all this time. Basically, it was very strange to me.
The Chargers are on an away game, so everyone has left for Arizona to watch them play against the Cardinals. I decided to stay here. Even though I wanted to go, I couldn’t leave without doing something that has been weighing heavily on my heart.
Once I arrive to the familiar terracotta house surrounded by well-kept bushes and a tall palm tree shared with the next door neighbor. I park up in the next available spot that’s a few yards down his home and step out of my car. When I close the door and stand there, I stare at the dusty old car that has given me both good and bad memories. An old but steady car that will never compare to my OG baby, Roxy. It has broken down more times than I care to count, but it has always come back to life when I needed it. It has pulled through for me even through the toughest times.
I give her a light tap of thanks before I lock her up and continue to the reason why I’ve come here today. As I follow the path towards the main door of the house, I begin to feel my heartbeat pick up. After one deep breath, I climb closer and closer until I’ve reached the white door with the steel numbers “27” written on the wall beside it. In between the door and the numbers is a bell. I push it to let him to know I’ve arrived.
I wait and wait for what feels like an eternity.
Just as I’m about the push the bell again, I see the door open.
With his shirt off and a toothbrush in hand, Ted greets me with a look of shock, eyes widening and both brows being raised. Slowly, he leans out of the door and checks both sides of me to see if anyone else with me.
“Hey,” he says hesitantly. “Is everything okay?” he asks. Seeing him with his shirt off should make me feel flustered and giggly, but it doesn’t; not anymore.
“Um, can we talk?” I wring my hands out of nervous habit whenever I talk to someone about a subject that I know they aren’t going to like.
His face pales as soon as I’ve said it. A hint, one that everyone knows when you’re in a relationship. Those three words can make even the strongest man scared.
