Page 202 of Steeling Her
“Really?” He scrunches up his nose in disgust and I couldn’t help but pull back a little from him.
“Why not? Kids are cute. I mean, yes, they drive you nuts, but that’s part of the whole experience.” I shrug like it’s obvious but he’s still not getting it. “You get to watch your own flesh and blood grow up and experience the world. I’d love that.” He shakes his head, refusing to agree with me on this.
“Kids are not for me, Carter.” I wasn’t surprised by this admission. In fact, I wasn’t even sad either. I couldn’t feel anything. I refused to feel something. It was like my body refused him and his ideas.
“Okay, well, we don’t have to talk about this now.” I swerve the topic away and agree to keep my mouth shut.
But I’m not putting away my values. I want kids. I want my own babies calling me “Mom” and running around in the sunlight. I want my own. “Let’s watch a movie or something?” I offer and pull him by his shirt over to the sofa. As we sit down, I think about the day while Ted flicks through Netflix on my TV, searching for something he’ll like. He’s more particular about movies than I am, so I let him pick all the time. It saves me the hassle of listening to him complain about the characters, storyline, and composition. It’s just easier.
As he gets lost in the options in front of him, I begin to have flashbacks about today.
The way Nick came out of the pool dripping wet with my niece in his arms. He knew I’d stare at him. He knew that it made me weak. He always looked one hundred times hott—
I can’t be thinking about this.
I can’t be thinking about him.
Or his tattoos.
Or his ripped bod—
Shit.
“How about this one?” He points to the screen and I watch the name “‘The Wolf of Wall Street” spelled out in front of me.
“Yeah, sure,” I answer even though we’ve seen it a million times. I could almost recite the entire movie to you at this point. I think Ted has a fetish for Jordan Belfort. Either that, or he wants to be him. The LA version of Jordan, minus the prison sentence.
“Alright.” He smiles and presses play.
I find my mind wandering back to Nick again. How kind he is to Taylor. I often compare him with Ted and how they interact with her. It’s one of my deal breakers. Ted was getting closer to her for the past few months; it took a while for her to warm up to him, but we were getting there. That is until, Nick reappeared and took over.
I forget just how naturally amazing he is with kids. I saw it with Ellie and now my own niece. I miss seeing him like that. I miss him in general, even though I shouldn’t. He ended it with me, yet I can’t help but think about him and what he’s been up to for the past five years outside of football because he’s plastered across every sports channel you could switch to.
I miss everything about him. I miss his touch, the way he would hold me; the way he would kiss me in his arms, holding on tight and holding me close; the way he would cradle his hands around my face; the way he looked at me, like he wanted to remember every moment together.
“Hey, are you alright? You’re breathing really fast.” Ted asks me, sitting up slightly, and I feel my body react. I lunge myself at him and kiss him deeply to get Nick out out of my head and Ted in. I let out a moan from him as I climb up onto his lap and straddle him. I pull him closer to me and bite down on his lip. He grabs hold of my ass and squeezes hard through my tight jeans before moving around and lifting me up. I wrap my legs around him, our lips not moving away from one another.
He slams me back up against the wall as he fumbles down the corridor to get to my bedroom. He begins to kiss his way across my jawline and down my neck. I bite my lip to stifle a moan, but he sucks harder. I release the moan I was holding back.
He pulls back and I see Nick’s face. I blink and see Ted again, so I crash my lips onto his again. trying desperately to erase Nick from my mind.
It can’t be him.
It can’t be.
Ted drops me onto my bed with him hovering over me. I push back his jacket to get it off him and he momentarily pulls back to shuffle it off his arms. I also grab the hem of his undershirt and lift it for it to be removed next. He does the same with my shirt, kissing his way down the valley of my breasts and down to my navel. He unbuttons my jeans and guides them down my legs, allowing me to kick them off.
He takes my panties in his hands and yanks them down too. Then, he unbuttons his own jeans and lets them drop to the floor. He crawls back on top of me in his Armani briefs, making me think of Nick and his commercial. I shut my eyes and, against my will, I think of him.
Flashbacks of us rolling around in the sheets when we dated in college flood my mind. The heat between our bodies when we felt that connection. It was unmatchable. I knew that, and it’s why I can’t help myself.
Lips attach themselves to my neck, and I moan thinking it’s him. It’s Ted but I’m imagining Nick. I know I shouldn’t do that, but I can’t help it. It’s not my first time, either, and it won’t be the last. I’d be lying if I said it was.
I feel Ted nudge at my entrance and I open my eyes to see if he had put a condom on. Seeing he has and knowing that he doesn’t ever want kids, I give him the green light to thrust himself inside of me. He slides himself in, thrusting in and out of me to find a rhythm that suits us both. “Baby,” he moans in my ear as I feel my mouth opening, feeling every bit of him.
I hold on to his ass and silently ask him to go deeper. I need it deeper; I need to feel him, I need to feel something.
As he does, I moan in pleasure. “Oh, fuck!” he groans again, and I think of the night when we were in the shower together.
