Page 170 of Steeling Her
I made a mistake.
“Come on, let’s go before she rips our heads off.” I chuckle, pushing myself out of the car after that thought.
“I don’t think she’ll be upset today.” He pats my shoulder as soon as we round the car.
“Why? What’s going on?” I ask as we walk towards the doors to the restaurant Haley had booked for us. They obviously have something to say, and I’m astonished that my sister has kept it quiet for long enough. She’s been acting skittish lately and it’s all coming together for today, but what is it?
“You’ll see.” He winks. I shake my head as I open the door, telling him that his answers, or lack of, won’t cut it.
“Tell me, TJ.” I block him off from the entrance.
“Nope.” He bulldozes into me pushing me back. I forget how strong he is sometimes because I haven’t seen him in a while. The cool air conditioning tickles the hairs on my skin as I walk backward. “Anderson party.” TJ nods at the hostess, who gladly takes us to our table.
“Dude, you’re the worst!” I whine, making him laugh once again.
“You’re such a child, Nick.” He makes all three of us laugh.
“Do you have friends as shitty as he’s being now?” I ask the young brunette strutting in front of us, and she giggles into the menu she’ll set down for us in a moment.
“Maybe it’s a surprise?” she offers, shrugging her shoulders and trying not to take a side, but I can see she already has.
“You’re meant to be on my side!” I joke with her and we all continue to laugh. I laugh at the floor, trying to think about what it could be, but I flick my eyes up when I suddenly smell her. I know it’s her, and my eyes validate it when I see her staring back at me. Those bright blue eyes that I haven’t seen in person for five whole years are gazing back at me once again. I halt my steps and fall into a hypnotic state, mesmerized by her once again. There’s no air in my lungs to help me breathe. Nothing. I feel like I’m going to collapse at any moment.
Five fucking years later, and I still know that coconut-mango smell from her shampoo mixed with her own aroma. I knew it was her as soon as I got a whiff. That scent—her scent. It’s something that I will never forget.
Her hair is longer than before. It tumbles down in soft curls around her face and down past her shoulders.
Good God, she looks like a goddess in yellow right now.
It takes me back to the time when we had our first kiss together on the roof of the sorority house of a party that most definitely shouldn’t have happened, but it brought us together and we had a very memorable moment. It looked like the heavens opened up for me to reveal the one girl that I could only ever love.
This must mean something, right?
My heart is in my mouth as we stare at each other. It’s hitting me so hard right now, right in the middle of my heart. The memory of her wasn’t good enough to satisfy me, and here she is, sitting right in front of me.
I knew I’d see her eventually, and I was hoping it would be under different circumstances—circumstances that involve her being single. I wanted to try again with no interruptions. Seeing her now has nudged me to think carefully about it. I don’t know if she has forgiven me, or if she ever will.
I pace slowly over to the table where she’s sitting. She twists her body around and towards my sister, avoiding the longing eye contact with her that I have missed. Everything about her, I’ve missed. Mainly when we used to lie in bed together. I’ve missed holding her and playing with her hair and hand as we talked about everything and nothing. I’ve missed watching scary movies with her because she clutched onto me for dear life. That need for me is what I loved. The fact that she couldn’t sleep alone in her own room afterwards satisfied me because I knew she’d be next to me, that I had the opportunity to be there for her, and I took it.
As I approach the table, I sit down in the vacant seat next to her. “Hi,” I barely whisper, and I wonder if she heard me. When her head rotates around to face me again, she stretches a small smile across her lips. I forgot where I was and quickly learned that I just ignored everyone too. My breathing is short and rapid. This is what she does to me after all these years.
It’s not different from when we dated. My palms are sweaty, and I can feel my body temperature rising promptly. My brain buzzing and fogging up with no words coming to mind.
Shit.
She turns back around to stop eye contact with me. She really does still hate me for what I did to her.Can I really blame her?
“When did you come into town?” The cold hard tone of her older brother breaks the ice of my staring competition with her side profile. As I blink back to the guy who could bury me six feet under with the look he’s giving me right now, I suddenly feel like I’m back in college and I’m about to get clocked by him. He’s loyal to his sister, and I’ve got to respect that. I hurt her and I’m paying for it now, even five years later.
“Uh, yesterday morning. I’m staying with them for a while”—I point to my sister and TJ—“until I find my own home out here.” My manager organized for me to see a real estate agent out here. I’m meeting with them the day after tomorrow to discuss some potential properties.
I watch Carter’s hands grip on the edge of her dress when I start to speak in the corner of my eye. She’s mad.
“Four year contract?” It was more of a statement than a question because he knows I’ll be taking his brother’s position on the same team as him. We’ll be teammates, all three of us.
I’m proud of my achievements, but I can feel the tension coming from Chris as he hardens his face once I make eye contact. leaning back comfortably in his seat with confidence and a “don’t fuck with me” attitude etched into his features. I try to brush it off by pretending that I don’t notice it. Instead, I plaster on a smile and assure myself that I deserve to be on the team just as much as everyone else.
“Yeah, so happy. I wasn’t expecting that offer but I’m happy.” And that was not a lie. I am ecstatic about the trade. A four year contract with the Chargers is outrageous, but I’ve worked so hard to be here. Iwillwin titles for them, play the best I can, and play my own game. I will strive to be the best in the country. I have the potential and the tools to be.
