Page 85 of A Voice In Chains
Harrison chuckles, stealing the water bottle off me and inhaling the last of it.
Ryan ruffles my sweaty hair on his way into the changing room. “Of course I love you, man. We’re best buds.”
Tossing the water bottle into the rubbish bin inside the doors, Harrison says, “Just roll with it.”
We always do. Ryan has always been a bit different, in a good way, of course. While he’s quirky, he’s also loyal.
Two steps into the changing room, he throws his hands up and shouts, “PARTY AT HORNBY’S TONIGHT!”
The rest of the room explodes in cheers, and I wish I could join in with the excitement. For a beat, I wonder if maybe I ambroken. How long will I feel like this? How long will I look over my shoulder and expect to see Arkin? Will I ever accept that he’s gone?
As I take a seat on the bench to change, I discreetly watch my teammates undress.
Clothes hit the floor. None of the guys are self-conscious about their bodies in the least, and as I eye up their toned physiques, I wonder if I’ll ever be sexually attracted to another man again. The centre-back, Gabriel, is good-looking, with brown skin, hazel eyes and full lips.
Even so, when he turns around and offers the room a full view of his flaccid but impressive cock, I look away because he’s not who I want.
I don’t want anyone but Arkin, not even for a quick release, and that’s a sobering thought. Scrubbing a hand over my face, I smile weakly at Harrison when he pats me on the shoulder on his way to the showers.
I’ll be okay.
After a quick shower, I exit the changing rooms with Harrison and Ryan.
“Isn’t that your dad?” Ryan asks as we head to the parking lot.
Distracted, I look up from my phone to see my dad waiting in his SUV. What the hell is he doing here? A rush of anger propels my feet forward, and I pocket my phone on my way over. When he spots me, Dad leans over to open the passenger door.
I pop my head inside. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Yes, our relationship has not yet recovered. Mum has tried plenty of times over the last couple of months to act as a middleman, but I won’t give him the time of day anymore. As far as I’m concerned, he’s no one.
“Get in, Zachary,” he says now, sounding tired.
I glance behind me. Harrison and Ryan toss their sports bags into the boot. There’s still time for me to catch up if I leave now. I’m half tempted—okay, very tempted—to tell my dad to screw himself, then go to that party with my friends. For a long moment, I contemplate it. Contemplate if I have it in me to pretend for a full evening that I’m having a good time. There will be girls there. Girls in short dresses who’ll try to shove their tongue down my throat.
A cold sweat breaks out on my back, and I quickly slide into the passenger seat. Dad clears his throat as I toss my bag into the backseat, but he says nothing else as he drives us out of the parking lot.
The roads are quiet at this time of the day now that rush hour is over. Dad drums his thumbs on the wheel, and I almost wish he would just spit out whatever bullshit he has to say. At this point, I don’t care anymore.
Ten minutes later, I realize we’re not heading home. “Look, Dad, whatever bonding session you think this is, just drop it. Take me home.”
“No, not until I’ve said my piece.” He sighs, drumming his thumbs again. “I’ve not been a good father to you. Even after everything that happened, I didn’t ask you how you were.”
I feel my jaw pulsing. We’re turning into the local park now. Dad pulls into one of the empty spots and cuts the engine.
We sit in silence for a moment. Tense silence. The kind of silence I would rather not be around.
Dad drops his hands from the steering wheel. “How are you, Zachary?”
“How am I?” I almost choke on the words. Is he for real? “I’m fucking fantastic. Never been better.” I’m about to say more, but my father’s broken expression gives me pause.
“How are you?” he asks again.
I swallow thickly. “Not good.”
A small nod, followed by another regretful sigh. I don’t know what to say.
For what feels like an eternity, Dad stares out the windscreen. Then he says, “You love him?”
