Page 79 of A Voice In Chains
“Just leave.”
“You have football practice tonight.”
“I don’t care.”
I feel her eyes on me for a few moments longer before she exits my room. Then she’s back minutes later with a plated sandwich and a glass of orange juice, which she sets down on my nightstand.
She sits down beside me and shifts my greasy hair away from my brow. “Why don’t you tell me about him.”
My body stills and then I push onto my elbow to look at her. She sees my skeptical expression and smiles weakly. “Tell me about Arkin,” she says.
“What do you want to know?”
Mum chews on the inside of her cheek. “You and Amy broke up countless times, yet you were never this upset. You haven’t left your bed for days, and you haven’t touched your food.” She puts her hand on my arm, her touch gentle. “I want to know about this boy that has you so tied up in knots.”
I glance at the door, but Mum shakes her head. “Don’t worry about your father.”
“What about your faith? Your God?”
“Right now, I want to know about you.” She cups my cheek with a soft smile. “About my beautiful son. Talk to me, please.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Whatever you feel ready to tell me. How did it all start?”
It should feel strange to talk to my mum of all people, but as she cups my chin, I realize how much I’ve craved this conversation. Arkin deserves to be talked about. Deserves someone who won’t keep him hidden in the closet out of fear.
Mum listens while I explain how I fell for the intense boy who moved into our home—minus the sordid details, of course.
“I feel bad because I hated him at first, but then… I couldn’t deny how he made me feel.”
“It must have been lonely, feeling like you had no one to talk to.”
“It was,” I agree. “But I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. It took me a long time to accept this side of myself. I didn’t want to admit it at first.”
“Your father and I play a part in that,” Mum says regretfully.
“No, Mum,” I start, but she shakes her head and takes my hand.
“Zachary… You should have never felt embarrassed of who you are. It pains me to think you felt like you had to hide this side of yourself. You should know that as your parents, we’d never disown you.”
“But Dad, he?—”
“Your dad will come around. I promise.” She wipes a tear from the corner of her eye. “It’s not as easy for your father. I grew up in a non-religious home and found my faith in my early adulthood, but your father was born into the faith. He’s not a bad man, Zachary. He just needs a little longer to work through his emotions and reconcile his faith. Trust me, he wants you to be happy and will realize one day soon what a mistake he made by sending Arkin away when he did.”
I’m speechless, to be honest. Never expected Mum to be this understanding. Dad’s anger was no surprise. Deep down, I always knew he’d react badly to my sexuality but had no idea my mum would be the one to extend an olive branch. Now that we’re here, smiling tentatively at each other, I wish I had opened up to her sooner.
“Zachary, sweetheart. I need to say something, and you won’t like it.”
Oh, here we go. Of course there’s abutwith parents.
“Your father wasn’t completely in the wrong.”
How can she say that? Arkin is gone because of my father, and I don’t know when or if I’ll see him again.
I try to pull my hand away, but Mum holds on tight. “What happened between you both wasn’t wrong. No one here is judging you for falling in love with such a sweet young man.”
I roll my eyes. “Just say what you want to say.”
