Page 68 of A Voice In Chains
The way she says it makes her sound so much like a defiant, bratty teenager that I can’t help but smile.
Resting her chin on my chest, she says, “I’m happy for you.”
“Yeah?”
Her smile grows. “Yeah.”
“Dad can’t find out about this.”
“I would never grass on you.” She untangles herself, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “But Zach… You need to tell him sometime.”
“I will.” I take a seat on the bed. “I just don’t fucking know how. He won’t take it well, you know?”
For a moment, she chews on her lip, then sits down next to me with a sigh. “Does Arkin make you happy?”
Warmth spreads through my chest. “Like you wouldn’t believe.”
“You hated him in the beginning.”
“So much,” I reply with a chuckle. “I don’t even know why.”
“Maybe this is why.” She nudges me playfully with her elbow. “Instant sexual attraction. Perhaps you didn’t know how to handle it.”
Snorting, I throw my arm around her shoulder. “You and I… We good?”
“You don’t even have to worry about that.”
I kiss the side of her head, and she leans into me.
“I feel sorry for Arkin,” she says after a moment. “All this moving around and never settling, and now they’re sending him to live with some distant relatives.”
Resentment toward my father is brewing in my gut like the main ingredient in some potent witch’s potion, and I gnash my teeth.
Neriah straightens. “It’s not right. He’ll live even farther away from his siblings.”
“Tell me about it. I’m going to beat the shit out of our dad,” I grumble, and she laughs quietly.
“You should go find Arkin. He’s probably worried about you.” She stands up and puts her small hand on my shoulder.“Everything will work out in the end. Don’t ask me how, but it will.” Then she leaves, but not before I call out, “Thanks,” when she’s about to shut the door.
When I’m alone, I run my hands through my hair, restless as hell as I pull the strands tight. Today was a close call. It could have been my parents who entered the room. What then? Though what does it matter now when they’re sending him away?
The deep-seated ache in my chest is back, and no matter how much I rub, it won’t go away. The thought of losing him has me shooting to my feet, pacing the small space and chewing on my thumbnail. I can’t let my father do this. Fuck to the no! He’s not sending him away to stay with some distant relatives in Scotland of all places.
His home is here with me. Now more than ever, I need to tell my father the truth. Sure, I’d hoped to wait, but we’ve run out of time and now there’s no other choice if I hope to change his mind. Who am I kidding? I know my dad: he won’t take the news of my sexuality well, thinking it’s somehow his fault for inviting Arkin into our home, and into my bedroom.
After lunch,Arkin has a therapy appointment, so I decide to pop over to Harrison’s and Ryan’s for something to do. As I knock on their door, my heart rattles around behind my ribcage. It takes a couple of seconds, during which sweat beads on my brow, before the door swings open to reveal Ryan and his beaming smile.
“It’s about time. We’re loading up the Xbox,” he says, not noticing how nervous I am as I step inside.
Ryan retakes his seat on the couch, ankles crossed on the coffee table. Harrison spots me and grunts a greeting with a tip of his chin as he picks his character. I sit beside Ryan, jiggling my knee.
The game starts up, but I can barely focus on the screen. Harrison and Ryan take out half of their opponents, and Ryan ends up getting shot and taking significant damage.
How do you tell your friends you’re into guys?
The way I figure, they don’t have an inkling about what’s going on between Arkin and me because I’ve never felt attracted to a guy before now and never so much as looked at one.
All this time, I’ve only ever hooked up with girls.
