Page 47 of Obsession
I draw in a deep sigh and look back at Needham. He’s done everything he can for me. Let’s be real, he could have dropped me years ago. But here he is, fighting a losing battle for a monster like me.
“We’ve exhausted our appeals.”
“It’s okay.”
“We’ll beg the governor for clemency. The battle is not lost yet. There’re plenty of cases where they’ve halted the execution at the last minute.”
I do something I’ve never done. I reach out and take his hand. He doesn’t flinch, gripping me tight. “Thanks, Needham.”
“You were dealt a shitty hand, Hammond.”
My chuckle betrays the sinking feeling in my stomach. “I’ve made my bed. I’m not a good man.”
His grip tightens. He’s probably the only person who has ever rooted for me despite my heinous crimes. “Monster or no monster, you still deserve to have someone in your corner. It’s been a damn honor to be that person. I know you don’t see it. You’re too focused on the wrongs you’ve done, but you’ve come a long way since I first met that young man who’d unleashed his inner pain on the world. Something had to give, Hammond. Noone can suffer and not crack under pressure. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“It’s no excuse.”
“Nothing excuses what you did to those women. I’m not trying to justify your actions, but I am telling you that you deserve a fucking break from your own mind. Yes, we’re twenty years too late, but that kid you once were, that kid deserved someone to show him some fucking forgiveness for what was to come. I am here, rooting for that child. Maybe I’m too late, but I’m holding young Robbie’s hand now. He was never alone, and you”—he points a finger at me—“are not alone now either.”
My jaw works.
“I’m not saying you’re a transformed man, but the God I believe in taught me that love is free of judgment. Puny humans, like us, can’t even begin to wrap our minds around such big words. They’re outside of our comprehension.”
“Are you my reverend now?” I tease, scratching at my temple.
“Very funny.” His eyes soften. “How are you holding up?”
Easing back in my chair, I pick at my nails, too tired to keep the mask in place. I’m just so fucking tired. “There’s a girl.”
His eyes widen, and he opens his mouth to speak but snaps it shut. What can he say? Nothing. I don’t have a future with a girl. We both know it.
I drag my tongue over my lip in thought. “She’s the reporter I told you about.”
“Hammond…” There’s a note of warning in his voice.
Blowing out a breath, I scrub my face, changing the topic. “I’m sorry you had to drive all the way here only to waste your time.”
“It’s never a waste of time.” Needham studies me for a moment. “I get that life behind these walls must be…” he drifts off, studying my face, “…boring, but this girl has her whole lifeahead of her. Are you sure you want to break her heart if we fail, Hammond?”
I grind my teeth, staring him down before moving closer. “Here’s the thing. I am a monster, Needham. If I see something I want, I steal it. So you can hold that little boy’s hand, but he will still go after what he wants. And I want this woman. I want her so badly, every nerve ending in my body vibrates. She’s inside my veins, Needham.” I dig my finger into my temple. “She’s in here, driving me fucking crazy. There’s nothing I won’t do. No lengths I won’t go… I will make her mine.”
His eyes flick between mine, unsure and intrigued. “It’s good to see your fire again, Hammond. She’s bringing you back to life.”
Isn’t that the biggest cosmic joke of all, like a week-long heatwave in spring that’s snuffed out by another cold spell? Butterflies break free from their cocoons only to freeze to death.
20
SAVANNAH
Ifollow the officer down hallway after hallway. His keys jangle at his hip. The white walls pass by in a blur while I build up my courage to do something so reckless. I have nothing to lose anymore, and I’m willing to gamble. I don’t know what it is about Robbie, but he makes me ready to throw caution to the wind. How else can I convince him that I trust him? How else can I show him?
“Officer?” I begin.
“Miller,” he says, sounding bored, peering at me over his shoulder.
I dressed specifically for this occasion in a pencil skirt tight enough to invoke panic and a silk blouse with three buttons undone instead of two. I even applied red lipstick. Call me adventurous or just stupid. If Jeanine can make flirting look so easy, I sure as hell can too. But it’s not easy, and it’s almost impossible not to punch him in the face when his eyes fall down my body. I somehow manage to bat my lashes instead of rearranging his features.
My heart beats harder when he turns around and glances up at the camera in the corner of the hall.
