“It’s not okay.”
I stand and block him from pacing. "I promise you, everything is fine. There's nothing to worry about." It’s a lie.
I'd stopped taking my birth control pills months ago. I’d missed some due to illness and decided that since I wasn’t dating and was focused on helping my father, I didn’t need them now.
So it’s possible I could get pregnant, but I hate seeing him rattled like this.
His eyes search mine, like he’s desperate to believe me. The panic gradually subsides from his expression.
“You’re on birth control.”
“It’s fine,” I say again.
His shoulders relax, and I know I've made the right choice for now.
The truth would only send him spiraling again, and for what? If nothing comes of this, he never needs to know.
And if something does, well, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
He shakes his head. “Stupid. Why couldn’t we have waited until?—”
“Don’t you dare blame this on me. I was leaving, remember?”
“I should have let you go.”
After what I’ve just done to spare him from panic, he doesn’t have any problem hurting me.
I tug my towel up higher. “Yeah, you should have.” I’m fuming inside. “You can be a real asshole, Marco, you know that?”
His eyes narrow. “Is this what you wanted? You came in here wanting to fuck?—”
“No, I came in here to call you an asshole.” That much is true. “At the time, it was for leaving me at the festival. Now I’m calling you one because you fucked me but are acting like being with me is the end of the world. You didn’t seem to have any problem when you impaled your dick into me.” This is stupid.
Why did I allow this to happen? I knew better.
I turn to leave.
“Gabriella—”
“No,” I snap. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say because it will just be all your stupid excuses. I’ve always thought you pushed people away because your parents were assholes and you think you’re unlovable. But the truth is, youareunlovable, Marco, because you treat people like shit.” I push through the sauna door, the cool air hitting me.
I decide I’ll shower upstairs, so I find my clothes and begin putting them on.
When the sauna door doesn’t open, I’m both relieved and annoyed that Marco isn’t following me out.
It’s uncomfortable and difficult to dress when sweaty, but with jerky movements, I yank on my pants and tug on my sweater.
When the door to the sauna opens, I give him a scathing glance. “Too early. I’m still here. Hide for another moment and I’ll be gone.”
He lets out a sigh. “Gabriella, don’t be like this.”
“Like what, Marco? Hurt that you blame me for your libido? For forgetting to put on a condom? For being a woman? What shouldn’t I be like?”
“Look, I admit I overreacted, but I won’t apologize for how I want to live my life. You know how I feel about relationships and kids.”
“Then get a fucking vasectomy.”
He flinches, although I’m not sure if it’s my choice of words or the idea of getting his dick snipped.