Page 148 of Secret Baby for the Mafia Don
I shake my head. "I need a clear mind."
The drive to Antonio's feels eternal.
Every bump in the road sends shockwaves of pain through my body.
To distract from the agony, I stare out the window at the Christmas decorations lining the streets, twinkling lights and wreaths adorning doorways.
Last year, I barely noticed them.
This year, they remind me of Gabriella's smile when she saw the decorations I'd arranged for her.
“Tell Maria to buy every Christmas decoration she can find.”
Roman glances at me. “Who are you and what did you do with Marco Calabresi?”
I give him the finger, and that little movement hurts too.
Roman clears his throat. “So… you mentioned a baby. I can’t decide if you were hallucinating or not.”
“I wasn’t.”
This time, he does a double-take. “A little old, aren’t you?”
My lips twitch upward that he’s going to razz me instead of pointing out all the legit reasons I shouldn’t be a father. “Didn’t stop you. I wouldn’t be surprised if Isabella knocked out a few more for you.”
He grins. “I’m a virile guy. I also like being married and having kids.”
I inhale a breath.
It feels like the first breath I’ve ever taken. “Maybe I will too.”
We turn down Antonio’s street, and the optimistic hope I was feeling falters. "What if she doesn't want to see me?"
"Then you'll know you tried."
When we pull up to Antonio's estate, doubt nearly overwhelms me.
What right do I have to ask for anything from her?
I've pushed her away at every turn, denied the possibility of a future together, rejected the idea of our child.
"You want me to go in first?" Roman asks.
"No." I straighten my spine, ignoring the pain. "This is something I need to do myself."
The walk to Antonio's front door feels like a mile, my body protesting the exertion.
But with every painful step, my resolve strengthens.
I won't leave without telling her everything, how I feel, what I want, who I want to be.
Not a man like my father, but a man worthy of her.
Worthy of our child.
I ring the doorbell. This is it. No more running. No more hiding behind the ghost of my father's lessons.
“For what it’s worth,” Roman says as he stands behind me, my enforcer, my wingman, “you’ll be a good husband and father.”
