Page 88 of Secret Baby for the Mafia Don
The closest I’ve ever come to it was last Christmas, those few weeks I spent with Gabriella.
It was the most amazing time in my life. To be seen. To laugh. To feel connected to another human being.
But it was also the most terrified I’d ever been.
Well, except for earlier tonight when I realized I didn’t use a condom.
I hate that I hurt Gabriella, but she knows I’m shit as a person. I’d be a terrible husband and father. Tonight proved it.
Still, I should apologize to her.
I stand, wobble, and stumble to the bedroom door. I’m like a marble in a pinball machine as I bounce against the wall making my way to her room.
I use the edge of my glass to knock on her door. “Gabriella.” I give my head a shake as my voice doesn’t sound right.
The door opens and those intelligent, beautiful, full or wonder eyes stare up at me. Then they narrow. “Are you drunk?”
“Yep.”
“Why?” She seems worried.
“I’m tired. So fucking tired.”
She opens the door. “Come in. You should lie down.”
I drape my arm around her as she helps me to her bed. I lie back and close my eyes.
The bed is warm like she was just in it. Her scent wraps around me. I feel like I’ve entered heaven.
“I’m sorry I’m such a shit.”
“Shitfaced is more like it.” She takes my glass to the bathroom and returns with it, except now it has water. “Here, drink this and take these.” She hands me two pills.
I do my best to comply, but my body isn’t following the directions my brain is trying to give. I drop one pill and spill part of the water. “Oops… sorry.”
“What happened tonight?”
I finally get the pills in my mouth and wash them down with water. “I fucked you without a condom.”
“So you got drunk?”
I shake my head, but the motion makes the room spin. “After that, I killed some men.” I try to hold up my fingers but it’s heavy. “Four? Five… I can’t remember.”
“Are you okay?” Her hands touch me like they’re looking for wounds.
I close my eyes and smile. “I like your hands on me.”
“Did you get hurt?”
“No. You got hurt. I hurt everyone. I don’t want to. I just do.”
She makes a tsking sound. “Get some sleep, Marco.”
Sleep shimmers at the edge of consciousness. “I’m bad for you.”
“You’re a moron.”
I like how she gives me shit. “Sorry.” I take her hand, hold it close like an anchor.
