Page 150 of Secret Baby for the Mafia Don
The threat doesn't frighten me. What terrifies me is the possibility that I'm already too late.
“Wait for me here,” I tell Roman as I start the long trek to the living room.
“What if she tries to kill you?” Roman says.
“I’ll deserve it.”
I finally reach the entryway to the living room.
It’s the epitome of Christmas.
Lights sparkle. Garlands drape.
An electric train runs on a track around the base of the tree. But once I find Gabriella, she’s all I see.
In that moment, I fully realize why she’s seeped into my soul.
She's always been the light in my darkness.
I understand now that my happiness has always been tied to her, even when I was too stubborn to admit it.
I take a step forward and she turns, her eyes widening as she takes in my haggard appearance.
"Marco?" She stands, uncertainty written across her face.
I feel like I’m a million years old as I move toward her. When I reach her, I don't touch her, though everything in me aches to.
She remains silent, wary.
I’ve never done this before, and so I’m not sure what to do.
Do I apologize first?
Lead by confessing my feelings?
I hear movement behind me, becoming aware that Antonio and Roman are right outside the living room, looking in. I’d like privacy, but I haven’t earned it in Antonio's mind, and Roman is always going to be near when an adversary is present.
“Thank you for saving my life,” she finally says.
“Thank you for saving mine.”
Her brow furrows, and I suppose my words don’t make sense.
“I’ve been dead inside for a long time. Until you, Gabriella.” What always seemed impossible, sharing my feelings, gets easier with each word I utter. “I love you.”
She gasps, clearly not expecting that.
“I have for a long time. Long before last Christmas,” I continue, the words tumbling out now that I've started. "I knew then, as I do now, that I’m too old and surly for a woman as warm and beautiful as you. I have no idea how to be a good life partner orfather." I swallow hard. "But I know now that I'd rather die than live in a world without you in it. Without our child."
I reach for her hand tentatively in case she’s repulsed by my touch.
She doesn't pull away, which gives me courage.
"I know I have no right to ask anything of you. I've pushed you away at every turn. I've been cruel, stubborn, afraid, and unworthy of you, but I pledge to you that if you give me this chance, I will spend every day of my life trying to deserve it. I will protect you and our child with everything I have. I'll learn to be the man you need, the father our baby deserves."
My legs nearly buckle beneath me, the exertion of standing taking its toll. I steady myself, refusing to show weakness now.
Not because my father’s words echo in my mind, but because I need her to see the truth of who I am now.
