Page 65 of The Hate We Breathe
Perhaps that’s what I am now, though. Different. I’m certainly not the same girl I was a year ago. Staring back at my face in the reflection of the mirror, I realize that even that isn’tquite right. It’s not that I’m different. It’s that I’m no longer pretending to be someone I’m not.
The day I stopped acting like I gave a shit about what other people thought, I killed the girl that was dependent on them. I’m not a new version of myself. I’m the core of who I always have been, rid of all of the barriers and decorations of society.
Through this whole metamorphosis, I’ve learned something important.
Nobody cares unless you’re already dead. If you’re alive, but suffering, then you should be grateful. If you’re reliant on others, then you’re a leech or parasite. If you talk out about the wrongness of it all, then you’re an enemy.
It isn’t until your heart stops beating that people actually care.
“Juliet?” A sharp rap on the door to the bathroom drags me out of my thoughts. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Thanks, I’ll be right there,” I call back through the wood door and wait until I hear Lex’s footsteps recede before leaving the bathroom. Dressing in his room, I pull on my shoes and brush my hair back away from my face. I’m mopping up the last of the water still clinging to the strands of my hair with a towel when I walk into his kitchen a few minutes later.
The smell of bacon and eggs fills the small space. Dropping the towel on the back of one of the chairs, I snag a piece of bacon from the paper plate on the counter and pop it into my mouth. Lex is already mostly done with his meal as he leans against the counter, plate and fork in hand. My eyes move down the jeans and t-shirt clad body that had been bare all over just a half hour ago and a shiver of awareness steals over me.
It’s not fair how sexy he looks. Pulling my gaze away, I grab another slice of perfectly crisp bacon and chew thoughtfully. Silence stretches between us and I nearly jump when Lex movesto drop his now empty plate in the trash and his silverware in the sink.
“Eat more than just bacon, baby,” he says, bending to press a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll grab our bags and get the car started.”
As he walks away, I realize that I’m no better than a man. I might hate to see him leave, but goddamn, do I love to watch him go. Even clothed.
Lex disappears around the corner and I turn my attention to the food, scooping up eggs and several more slices of bacon onto a paper plate. I eat in pretty much the same manner as him, standing up, back against the counter, and finished by the time he’s coming back inside and stomping off what looks like white fluff from his boots.
Gaping, I straighten away from the counter. “Is that snow?”
With a twitching mouth, he swipes some of it from his hair. “Yeah, just a bit, though. Looks like it came down overnight,” he says.
Dropping my plate into the trash, I head over to the open door and glance out. A fine layer of white covers the gravel road. “Are we gonna be able to drive in this?” I ask.
“There are stakes alongside the driveway for weather like this,” Lex tells me. “My aunt never bothered to get a tractor or anything to clear the way.”
“Yeah, but shouldn’t the city…” I recognize my error before I finish the sentence. Of course, Silverwood wouldn’t pay to get rid of the snow out here. Technically Lex’s driveway is private land. Therefore, it’s his responsibility.
Still, I eye the long white stretch of ground with some trepidation. Lex bends and drops another kiss on the top of my head.
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I put chains on my tires last night.”
“You did?” As I ask the question, my eyes drift to the SUV sitting with exhaust coming from the back end.
“I got an alert on my cell that we were expecting snow,” Lex says. “It’s why it took me so long to come to bed last night.”
“Oh.” Well, there goes my reason for skipping school today in order to stay in and fuck his brains out. Damn.
“Come on.” Lex nudges me outside before reaching back to snag an extra hoodie from one of the hooks next to his door. He shoves it over my head, fucking up my hair in the process.
“Lex!” I gripe and grumble as he forces the hood over my head and then tries to help me put my arms through the sleeves until I slap him away. “I got it!”
“Bags are in the car,” he says, moving away from me to jog across the snow-laden ground to the SUV. He pops the passenger side door and holds it wide for me as I follow him at a more sedate pace.
25
JULIET
The first part of the drive is nerve-racking. Despite Lex’s assurance that there are stakes in the ground allowing for him to stay on the gravel drive even when he can’t see it, I don’t see them. He, however, is fully relaxed in the driver’s seat, maneuvering the vehicle over the rough and uneven terrain without batting an eyelash.
Still, I release a breath when we reach the road to find that someone has already been through to clear off the worst of the snow. The rest of the ride to school is uneventful and it isn’t until we pull into the parking lot, the pavement smudged with white tire tracks, that I feel the weight of the day begin to descend on me.
Lex must sense my sudden shift in mood, because he glances my way as he parks the SUV. “You okay, baby?”
