Page 87 of Hi-Voltage
“I thought you were excited?”
“Yes, but nerves and excitement are like, right next to each other on the emotion chart. The two get crossed for me a lot.”
August threw their gloves in the trash and sat on the toilet lid, propping an elbow up on the back of it. Luka turned away from the mirror and hopped up onto the bathroom counter to sit. He looked at the painting on the wall, a floral still life August had painted in school that they hated and Luka loved.
August broke the silence. “You leave tomorrow.”
“Yup.”
“Are you coming back?”
Luka looked down at them, confused. “Why wouldn’t I come home?”
August scratched their cheek, avoiding Luka’s eyes. “Look, how long have I known you?”
“I don’t know, seven, eight years?”
“I’ve never seen you act like this,” August said. “In all these years, you’ve always been pretty composed overall. I’m used to your emotional state being kinda flat. To be honest, you smile a lot more now, but I’m also watching you work yourself up so bad you get sick to your stomach. Are you going to be okay?”
“I think so.”
“Then, I just got this feeling that if you do end up being okay, being happy, you’re not coming back.”
“Would that be so terrible?” Luka asked, frowning.
August took their time before responding. “No, I guess not. You still need to pay rent until I get a new roommate. Please don’t leave me stranded. The art store pays me pennies and if I do find someone to teach me how to pierce professionally, I won’t make shit during the apprenticeship.”
“I’d never do that to you. Besides, I’m pretty sure if Ididend up moving to London, I would not be paying rent.” Luka felt his face warm at the admission.
“That's so surreal," August said. “I can’t believe my roommate landed a celeb and sugar daddy mixed into one.”
“He is not my sugar daddy,” Luka insisted, a chill rolling down his spine at the thought. “I’m not okay with just taking Reno’s money. I’m still going to be working while I’m out there.”
“Babes, you just said he’d pay your rent.”
Luka felt his cheeks grow even warmer. “No, I didn’t. I, uh.”
“Spit it out, white boy.”
“Well, he owns his flat. I’d probably just… stay there.”
“When’s the wedding?” August cackled. “You two are worse than U-Haul lesbians. At this point, I’ll be shocked if you come back here.”
Luka thought back to what Reno had said before,master plan to get you to move in—“You might be right. But I’m still not just letting him pay for my life right off the bat. He’d have to like, propose, or something before I’d let him take control of my life. I need to have some kind of independence in case things go south.”
“Propose?” August latched onto the word. “Propose?Christ, don’t tell me you are already thinking about those things with this man.”
Luka shrugged. “Honestly, he’s the one who talks about it. Not me.”
August stared in complete disbelief and Luka had to huff a laugh at their expression.
“Trust, I made that exact same face when he started talking about me moving there and becoming his husband.”
August’s lips went pinched. “You’re into that, aren’t you?”
Luka looked at the ceiling. “I think so. It’s stupid fast, terrifying, and probably fake. But I really do enjoy feeling like someone like Reno could actually want that from me. He’s been so reassuring these last few days since he got home from tour. I’d be much more of a mess right now if he hadn’t been.”
“I hate to say it because you’re both fucking insane, but I think he might be good for you. I’m so sick of you talking aboutyourself like that. If he follows through and actually takes care of you the way he’s promising, maybe you’ll finally get it into your head that you’re worth something.”
