Page 115 of Banshee
“Yes, I was, and I won’t fucking apologize for that. You wouldn’t have survived without her, and neither would I. Your mother is my whole fucking world. A world I can’t live in without her. I will always choose her life over everyone else. That includes the three of you.” He pointed his finger at me to emphasize his point.
A tear slipped down my cheek, and I angrily swiped it away. He didn’t deserve my anguish. He didn’t deserve me.
“Don’t get it twisted, Sugar. That didn’t mean I didn’t fucking want you. And the longer your mother was pregnant, the more I fell in love with you. The day you were born was one of the happiest days of my life. I wasn’t there when your brother and sister were born; they came too fucking early.”
He pulled me against his chest, and I wrapped my arms around his waist as I cried against him.
“Watching your mother in pain was the hardest thing I’ve ever fucking done. But when the doctor pulled you out and placed you on her chest... never have I fallen in love so fucking fast. Not even when I met your mother.”
I pulled back and looked up at him. “Then why did you do it? Why did you give me away?”
“There is not a single excuse to justify what I did. I thought I could let you go long enough to get the information on your sister, and then I would bring you home. It was the wrong decision to make, and I’ve hated myself for it.”
I looked into my father’s eyes and saw the pain and anguish.
“Can you ever forgive me, Aspen?”
My heart softened when I heard him say my name. “I want to. But it is going to take time,” I told him honestly. Because I did want to forgive him. I just didn’t know how. Haizley was helping me though.
“I’ve got plenty of that,” he said.
“Maybe you could talk to Haizley with me. Maybe she can help us work through it?”
“The shrink?” he asked, scrunching his nose.
When I nodded, he let out an overdramatic sigh and said, “If that’s what it takes.”
We were one step closer. The big, bad Kronos was willing to go to therapy with me to heal my hurt, and I wasn’t sure he would ever understand just how much that meant to me.
“But I’m not coming home. This is my home now. With Banshee.”
“For fuck’s sake,” he mumbled, and I laughed.
I heard Diesel barking, and I looked up to see him running toward us. His teeth were bared, and I quickly stepped in front of my father.
“Easy, boy!”
I crouched down on the ground and let him plow into me. I fell back against my father’s legs and smiled as Diesel looked up and snarled at him again.
“It’s okay, boy. Mama’s fine.” I nuzzled into his neck until he calmed down and when I looked up again, Banshee was walking toward us. “Did you do this?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow at him.
He shrugged. “I told him to find Mama.”
“Where did you get that thing?” my father asked.
Banshee held out his hand to help me up and scowled at my father for not doing it himself. In his defense, he was probably afraid to move with the way Diesel was acting.
“Banshee got him for me right after I moved in here. Diesel helped a lot in overcoming my fears after what happened at the bar.”
My father closed his eyes. I could see he had a lot to forgive himself for. Haizley would be able to help with that. Once my parents went home, I would encourage him to continue talking to her online, or even on the phone.
Therapy had helped me so much, not just in dealing with the rape, but everything. My feelings for Diana and her disappearance. How I felt about my family and the restrictions they put on my life after Diana disappeared.
I hadn’t realized I’d held so much resentment toward my big sister and my brother and parents. Haizley helped me work through it, and I was looking forward to building a relationship with my sister.
I was positive she would be staying in Diamond Creek, seeing as her children were here. Mimic and Kytten were both heavily ensconced in the club.
“King wants us in church,” Banshee said, pulling me out of my head.
