Page 15 of Banshee
But she would have been so much fucking more. The truth was, if she was mine, she would have owned me. Hell, maybe she already did.
Maybe she always had.
Chapter Five
Aspen
A few days had passed since Banshee had asked me about my marriage. Now he was avoiding me. I refused to let him make this about him, though.
The audacity of that man to blame himself. Why? Because he chose not to buy me from my father? Would I have been better off with Banshee? Safer?
There was no question in my mind that I would have. But I didn’t blame him. I didn’t even blame my father. I knew why he’d done it. I’d heard him talking to Jupiter, his VP. He was still looking for my sister. And Skinner had told him he had information. Skinner lied.
Shocker!
Maybe I was naïve, but I understood why my father did what he did. I couldn’t imagine losing a child and still not having answers after fifteen years.
So I went along with it. I wanted to find my sister as much as my parents did. I’d missed her so much. My mistake was believing that other men loved their wives the way my father loved my mother. I’d believed that men in other clubs, despite being criminals, had the same morals as my father’s men.
I’d learned quickly there was no honor among thieves.
Pepper had made it clear that I belonged to him and he could do whatever the hell he wanted. I was his property, but never his old lady. And he kept me in line by reminding me that myfather’s club was small. That if I told my parents anything other than that I was happy, the Death Dogs would take them out.
I knew it was true. Skinner’s word meant nothing unless he was threatening you.
I’d kept my word, though. I kept my mouth shut and distanced myself from my family. When I ran, I asked Kytten to check on my family. I knew I couldn’t go back there. Not without starting a war.
If staying away from my family meant keeping them safe, then I would give them up. I would sacrifice my happiness for them.
I entered the clubhouse after my morning walk to a smiling Haizley. She’d helped me so much more than she would ever know. Even being here in the clubhouse helped. It was familiar. Comforting.
“Morning,” I greeted.
“Good morning, Aspen. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you came down.”
“That’s okay. I can’t expect you to be there forever, right? Besides, I’m sure you didn’t get much sleep with the way Gunner carried you out of here over his shoulder.” I waggled my eyebrows at her, and she blushed.
“No, it wasn’t like that. We talked. There is nothing between Gunner and I.”
“Why not? I wouldn’t turn down spending the night with a hot biker. Well, I mean, eventually. If I’m ever ready for that again.”
I didn’t think I would ever be ready for another relationship. Maybe a night or two with someone that I knew was safe. Someone who wouldn’t hurt me.
“It’s okay to feel attraction, Aspen. Your healing is on your timeline, no one else’s. There is no right or wrong time to let go and move on.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m just not sure I’m ready for anything other than appreciating from afar.”
“And that is perfectly acceptable.” Haizley squeezed my hand, and I let myself relax.
“Aspen, I am going to move back home today.”
My shoulders dropped, and I heaved out a sigh. I knew it was coming. She didn’t want to be here. I understood that. This life didn’t suit everyone.
“I figured you might.”
“Are you ready to be here without me the whole day? I’ll still come by for your sessions. For the time being, I can come earlier or later, and I can hang out with you and the girls as well. Like we have done while I’ve lived here. Until you are sure you’ve settled.”
“So, we can be friends? Not just therapist and patient?” I asked quietly. I’d begun to get to know the women here. The old ladies and the club girls. I liked them. I wanted to be friends with them.
