Page 36 of Heat Haze
Oh.
That cow.
“Toro Jr.?” The absurdity of the situation makes me chuckle weakly, especially when Toro immediately perks up at the mention of its name. “Toro… You’re… You’re not jealous of the little baby cow, are you?”
That frustrated expression is back tenfold now, with Toro groaning and bringing his knees up even further against his chest. “No,” he lies—which is definitely another first for him.
I inch closer to him, bringing a hand up to rest on his knee. “It’s okay if you are. You should be honest with me, Tor.”
“...Yes.”
As much as I want to laugh I know that wouldn’t make him feel very good, so I keep it inside and force my way into his lap. “You know you’re special to me, don’t you? I’m not going to replace you with aliteralcow, Toro. It was just really cute. It reminded me of you.”
His nose scrunches up, seemingly not convinced yet. “Me?”
“Yeah,” I nod while kissing up his jaw. “It was all cute, looking up at me the same way you do.”
“I…” His gravelly voice trails off momentarily, cheeks turning red. “I… Not cow…”
God, he is going to be the death of me. I finally break into genuine laughter, bringing him into a warm hug to help ease his mind. “No, you aren’t. But you’re just as cute as one.”
It’s obvious he doesn’t totally get it, but he doesn’t seem nearly as upset as he did before. Toro hugs me back,pulling me as close as he can. There’s a shaky exhale that follows, followed by many kisses to the head.
“Do you feel better?” My tone is soft now, letting him pull me down to cuddle with me properly. He wordlessly shakes his head yes, resting his head against my shoulder.
“Love you…” he says quietly.
“I love you too.”
“More than cow?”
The question makes me smile so wide I look stupid. “Yes. Much more than any cow.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
A loud clap of thunder wakes me up, cutting through the harsh pitter-patter of rain hitting the window in Toro’s room. Without missing a beat I reach for my boyfriend, only to find his side of the bed alarmingly empty. Okay. That’s fine. He’s probably just in the bathroom.
Except when I finally drag myself out of bed to go check, he’s not. But suspiciously enough his work boots have disappeared, dragging mud out to the door. Why did Toro go outside so late? What the hell could he possibly be doing?
I groan before sliding my shoes on, taking one of Toro’s big jackets to protect me from all the rain. I guess umbrellas aren’t a thing in the Tavera household because there just aren’t any, so I just pull the hood up and follow his footsteps out the back door and through the farm.
Mud sloshes underneath me with each step, getting my shoes all gross. It’s absolutely coming down out here, and I just need to figure out where Toro went and get him back inside. I’m a dripping mess when I reach the barn, and the way the door is slightly ajar tells me all I need to know.
Why is he in here?
That’s the only thing on my mind when I slip inside, the stale barn air not as bad as it had been earlier. I trace his wet footsteps to where the cows are. I can’t see him, but I can hear him now.
He’s knelt down facing away from me, something rustling in his arms that’s too hard to make out in the darkness. It’s too quiet, which only fuels the hundreds of bad thoughts I have. He was jealous of the calf, that’s true. I thought it was cute, but what if it wasn’t?
What if he did something to it? What if he thought I wouldn’t wake up? What would that even mean? Aside from the fact I was totally and completely wrong about him. I thought when he swore he’d stop eating human flesh it meant he was changing for the better.
But what if I was wrong? It wouldn’t be the first or last time my stupid naivety has gotten me in trouble. I’m shaking now, forcing myself to take a step forward.
“Toro?” My voice is a lot more scared than I’d like it to be, but the way he immediately stops dead in his tracks as if he’s been caught doesn’t help to alleviate what I’m feeling.
He only turns halfway, not enough for me to see what he’s doing. His eyes meet mine, expression shifting to something different. He can sense the fact that I’m doubting him, even without me saying it I know he can read my mind.
Toro turns properly, standing up with the calf in his arms. Toro Jr. lets out a happy little noise, wrapped up all snug in a dirty blue blanket. He frowns at me, setting it down with the other cows. There’s a lot more blankets scattered around, making sure they’re all nice and warm in this sudden weather shift.
