Page 179 of Soul So Dark
Part of me thinks I should tell her that he never got over it, and now it’s the reason he’s hiding in the wilderness and she hasn’t seen him in two years. But, instead, I stay silent, trying to stave off my own pent-up anger.
“At the time, I thought it was better for him to be with his friends and find some happiness before he graduated. Those boys were wild, but I think they kept him on track in many ways—even Aiden,” she says with a faint smile. “I had lunch with Mason’s mom a couple of weeks ago. I still can’t believe what happened to Alex.”
I clench my teeth at his name and the stab of grief that follows.
“Yeah, Colson told me about it,” I mumble quickly, hoping she won’t elaborate.
“Alex was such a nice boy,” she says absently while gazing around the room. “Every day, I wish he hadn’t decided to go overseas again.”
It’s like a scab being torn off, over and over. And while my mom is apologizing for her and Scott abandoning me on the very worst of days, she’s simultaneously reminding me of the one person who actually did show up.
And the fact that he’sdead.
My mom takes a seat on the edge of Evie’s bed again. “I admired you so much back then, Dallas. No matter what happened, you were still so focused and upbeat. I never had to worry about you.”
Is that how I seemed back then, like I wasn’t about to combust at any moment? Maybe that goes to show that people see me how they want to see me; the bubbly girl who laughed a lot, the fun-sized one, the girl on the track team, the bartender pouring shots, a screen name, a faceless figure in the neon light,Colson’s little sister…
“No,” I say louder this time, “because if you’re not a behavior problem, then nobody cares.” And as soon as I say it, the rest comes tumbling out. “Just because I like being around people and I don’t choose violence like Colson does every time something bothers me doesn’t mean that I’m never angry or upset.” I lock eyes with my mom, hers just as deep of a blue as mine. “You all think it’s easy for me?Well, it isn’t!It’s a lotharderto be kind and keep giving people the benefit of the doubt when everyone around you is either so selfish or so overwrought that they forget you exist!”
My fingers tremble beneath the leather cover and I finally slam the album shut in frustration. I hug it to my chest as I rise from the bed, deciding that it was a mistake to set foot inside this room.
“But it’s fine,” my chin begins to tremble as I start for the door, “because at least I’msmiling.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Alex
“Tell me again, what happened to this dude?”
“I waited 20 minutes and then called the number he had listed,” Noah follows me back down the long corridor, “his mom picked up, said he’s still interested, but he won’t be able to make the interview today because he, and I quote,got caught up in a raid at a friend’s house last night,but not to worry because he didn’t have anything to do with it.”
Dealing with a waste-of-time no-show for an open security position is the last thing I want to deal with this morning. Granted, it’s part of the reason I got this job to begin with. After an incident involving the last supervisor, a missing ID badge, a disgruntled ex-girlfriend, a vandalized company vehicle, and “misplaced” ammunition that ended up as bullet holes through said vehicle, the head of security cleaned house, fired half the staff, and hired me to help rebuild it.
“Oh, but the son of one of the VPs applied!” Noah adds with exuberance. “No resume, no experience, and no weapons training.”
“What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
“Not much,” Noah snickers. “He couldn’t pass the drug test.”
Of course.
“I’m going to have a word with April,” I mutter as I step through the doorway into the command center. This position is never going to be filled if HR keeps dropping the ball and sending me walking plant life.
Nate and Gavin are sitting at the bay of monitors, more or less keeping an eye on them while arguing over the next song on the playlist.
“She needs to change the posting,” Noah continues. “Wanted: must love guns, the color black, and Metal Mondays.”
A chuckle escapes my throat as I cross the room, making Gavin swivel around in his chair.
“Did Barrera justlaugh?” he asks with amusement.
I pause. “What do you mean? I laugh.”
“Youneverlaugh,” Nate interjects from behind him. “I didn’t even know your cheek muscles worked.”
“Really?” I never noticed, probably because I’m too busy keeping these jackasses in line.
“Tell them to add,has good jokes,too,” Nate calls to Noah. “We want more of this. Then maybe he won’t be up our asses so much.”
