Page 153 of Soul So Dark
God, why won’t she just shut up?
“A few years later…” I look down at the glass still laying at my feet. “I’m sorry, I should really clean this up.”
“Let me help you,” Bowen says nonchalantly while rising from his seat.
“No, really—” My teeth are clenched so hard, they’re about to crack.
But he ignores me and kneels down to start plucking pieces of glass off the floor and placing them in a wrinkled napkin. I want to grind the jagged pieces into his eyes. But, more so, I just want to sprint out of here. I gather up as much as I can, but as soon as I turn my back, I hear his heavy footfalls behind me. And when I reach the trash can by the door, he’s right at my shoulder.
“You should be more careful,” Bowen chides, running his eyes up and down my figure, “so you don’t fuck up my beautiful skin.”
“So, if I have scars, you’ll leave me alone?” I growl under my breath as I chuck the glass into the trash can.
“If you have scars, I’ll excise them to make room for my own.”
I look down, my chest tightening at each word like screws into a coffin.
“Anyway,” Bowen glances around, “I heard you’re going to visit your brother.”
I’m sure you did, fucking creep.
He doesn’t wait for me to answer. “I should give you a gift for him, since he really liked the last one I made for him.”
I still don’t answer, especially since I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about with his cryptic references. Whatever drama he has with my brother, I don’t care. Spinning on my heel, I jerk open the door and disappear back inside the pub.
Thankfully, Bowen doesn’t follow, and after a solid 10 minutes of deep breathing in the restroom, I return to work without further incident, making sure to avoid the patio at all costs. Why do I always end up in restroom stalls at the brink of a meltdown? It’s gross and depressing. Granted, this is the first time Bowen’s spoken to me since what happened at the old railroad bridge.
But I’ve seen him plenty since then.
It was unnerving at first. Shelby and I were walking back to her car after our afternoon classes. I grabbed the handle of her Cherokee and caught sight of a black truck sitting at the traffic light across from the smoothie shop. After a herd of students passed by, the guy in the driver’s seat turned his head and looked at me.
I recognized his black hair, those black eyes, and his black soul casting me a menacing smirk. And then, as soon as he appeared, the light turns green and he was gone. But that’s what Bowen does. He doesn’t linger, he doesn’t interact, he just makes his presence known and then vanishes back into the ether to visit his curse upon me another day.
But the truth is that I’m not scared of Bowen Garrison watching me.
People watch me all the time. Strangers peer into my bedroom through a camera lens and watch me for hours on end. I’ve come to terms with the fact that not all of them are benevolent. I’m aware that there are predators of all kinds, and I can live with that. But what I can’t live with is Bowen living on the wrong side of the camera with me and the constant uncertainty of when he will make good on his threat.
Stalkers don’t bother me—murderers do. And when one becomes the other, that just won’t do.
I’d rather die than live in fear of him. And if he’s going to torture me, then I have nothing to lose. I have to fight back.My way.
I keep living my life and I keep doing what I do every day, which includes catching up with AJ while I start packing for my trip to Colorado.
“When do you fly out?” he asks.
“Tomorrow after class.”
“Did you install that software I told you about? Did it work like you wanted it to?”
“Yeah, it’s perfect. And the interface is really intuitive.”
Not only is AJ fun to play games with, but he’s a wealth of knowledge when it comes to technology. I’m a decent hacker in my own right, but I don’t have his brand of skills when it comes to high-quality mics, voice changing software, and graphic design.
“I’m sorry you have to use it, but at least you don’t have to sit on mute anymore.”
He’s right, it sucks and I shouldn’t have to do this. I should be able to traverse online gaming as a woman, but once I manipulated my voice to sound like a guy and uploaded profile pictures to match the persona, the incels on the gaming platforms deemed me a god.
“There’s no going back.” I smile to myself. “Those bitches bow down to me now.”
