Page 44 of Stella's Christmas Rescue
“Oh, Jordan, that’s awful,” she says sadly.
I shrug. “The biggest mistake my parents made was not building a life together. If she wanted to go north, then he wanted to go south. Every part of their lives was based around conflict. They never made choices together as a couple. And I don’t talk about my birth family, because it’s just depressing.”
Stella sighs, “That sounds miserable.”
“These days, I know love is not about what someone else can do for you, it’s not about stuff. For me, love is finding someone I can’t stop thinking about. Someone who makes my burdens feel like nothing. Someone who makes me crazy in the best way. And the two of us choosing our future together. So, if I end up having children, it will be because she and I decided to have them, as a team. That’s why it’s hard for me to answer those sorts of questions. I wantusto decide our future together.”
“If you met the right girl, then you’d have kids with her?” She has hope in her voice, and something about it makes me happy.
“Sure. I’d do whatever I could to make her life the best I could. Kids, no kids, whatever we decide to do with our life. But I want to build a lifewithsomeone, if I can. If I don’t find her, that’s okay too. I take life as it comes.”
“Do you see yourself staying in Floyd?”
“Probably. Or some other small town. I love living here. I have thirty acres, all to myself. I can do whatever I want. There’s no shooting, unless it’s for fun or for food, so that’s a big plus, when compared to life in the Marines. It’s peaceful. If I want to, I can sit in my living room, read a whole book, cover to cover, while lounging in front of my fireplace. I’ve read twenty—two books this year.”
Stella smiles, with a twinkle in her bright blue eyes. “Sounds nice.”
“What about you? Husband and kids in your future?”
“I’ve always wanted that life…but being in Witness Protection, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
She gives me a look. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah, I mean…oh.” I’m an idiot. What the hell was I thinking?
She says the obvious, “How could I, with this life? How do you bring a husband and babies into a house where someone might try to kidnap them or their mommy? It’s just not feasible, while I’m in the program.”
“I’m sorry, sometimes my brain is not connected to my mouth and I say really stupid shit.”
Stella laughs. “It’s fine. I’ve thought about it ever since I got in the program, how this is derailing my plans for a family. But the good thing is, I usually date terrible guys, and the last was the worst, what with the cheating on me all the time andeverything else. At least I didn’t get a chance to make the mistake of starting a family with any of them. So, you know. Look on the bright side, I guess.” She shrugs.
“You never dated a nice guy?”
“Why would I have done that to myself?” she giggles and finishes her bourbon. “If I dated a nice guy, then I might have needed to have taken my future seriously. Who wants that responsibility?”
I nod and run my fingers through my hair. “I think you have enough responsibility on your plate right now, Stella. You worry about everyone else dying if you go eat corned beef hash in a restaurant, you’re risking your life so you can testify to make sure other people stay safe…you’re amazing. You have more than enough on your shoulders. You don’t need to think about that stuff, too. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”
“The family thing is a normal question to ask, Jordan. It’s nice to have a normal question thrown at me,” she says. “I’m sick of questions about assailants and blood and glass. Feel free to keep asking normal questions.”
I walk around the table and rub her shoulders. “Okay, let’s pretend to be normal people for a minute. Favorite color?”
“Silver. You?”
“Blue. Pizza toppings?” I ask.
“Anchovies and pineapple, with soy sauce for dipping.”
My hands stop involuntarily. “Are you serious?”
“As a heart attack, Sir, keep rubbing.”
I shake my head but keep working her shoulders. “That sounds…delicious.”
“How were you in the Special Forces? I thought they trained you how to lie or something.”
“We all have our gifts. Lying is not one of mine.”
