Page 12 of Sinister Hearts
“Stop it right there. We were all growing up, trying to find our way. I heard what happened. You don’t have to explain a thing to me, Faye.” Avi placed her small hands on my shoulders, and I nodded in agreement. I just wasn’t sure what I was making myway back to, and I wasn’t even sure what she’d heard. But even I was tired of talking about it, and so I left it at that.
Avi’s aura was always so difficult to read, it was a mystery to me. She didn’t talk much about her home life. We knew she started taking care of her mother at a very young age, and her father was hardly ever around, working constantly. Come to think of it, Avi pretty much raised herself. She never partied like any of the other teens in Grimstone. I constantly ran into her at the grocery stores with Ma in high school. She was always busy taking care of her mom and the household, while her dad worked in Mexico during the week, driving back every weekend to be with them. Avi kept to herself even at school. She’d always been shy and timid. When her father got hurt at work and had to start living off of disability, she started working here at The Wild Minx, doing particularly well for herself. From what Ma told me, she now took care of both of them.
The sadness hit me like a stone rock. Who was I to be so sad all of the time? We all had a story, we all had hardships, some more than others. But in the end, the pain always equates to the same, doesn’t it? Taxing our soul.
“Our shift starts in about ten. Are you line dancing tonight?” Avi had hope in her eyes. That was our money maker, her and I on the bar, line dancing like nobody was watching, and making tons of tips.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet.” I looked down, hoping to not disappoint her.
“Hey, whenever you’re ready, okay?” She gave me a wink and said, “Now, let’s go make that money, honey!”
How? How did she act like she wasn’t crumbling beneath the surface? Like the cards she was dealt with were fair? How could I make my way across that bridge? How many bathroom floors did she have to cry on to become so liberated from her pain?
It had been five hours into my shift and the soles of my feet were already killing me. I was embarrassed by how badly out of shape I was, and I didn’t even realize it. Every now and then I’d stop to watch the Minx girls dance on the bar, remembering at one point that had been me. Before I became a shell of a stranger in my own body. I agreed to bartend, not dance on the bar with the rest of the Minx’s, and truthfully, my confidence was just not there yet, but I wished so badly that it was.
Raquel came in with Buffy and sat at the bar. “Hey, I think I know you?”
I rolled my eyes, amused. “What are you two trouble makers doing here?” throwing an ice cube at them.
“Oh, you know. Thought I’d stop by and see my favorite bartender,” Raquel snickered.
“I’m here for it, what do y’all want?” I said, amused.
“I’ll take a rum and Coke on ice,” Buffy said, with her bright smile.
“Same thing,” Raquel shouted over the music.
I grabbed the bottles from the shelf and capped the cups off, filling them with Sailor Jerry’s, ice, and cola. I handed them over, and Raquel had a smirk on her that she only had when she knew something I didn’t.
“What is it now?” I pleaded with her, already annoyed.
“What, who me? I know nothing.” Both of them took a sip of their drinks over annoying chuckles.
“I will cut you off after these drinks if you don’t tell me.” I pointed the bar hose at her.
Buffy glanced at Raquel, as if to say,tell her now.
“Oh my gods, fine, I hate to burst your bubble but Jax is outside with his brothers. They’re about to walk in any minute actually.” Rocky replied, as if mocking me. The three of us side-eyed the entrance. I felt like my lunch was going to come up and got immediately clammy. At least this time I was wearing a bra and some pants, well… kind of. I glanced at my black chaps in the mirror behind the bar and fixed my wispy cut hair. Wherever I went, there he was, following me like a damn shadow.This damn small town. These damn cowboys, and their pathetically nice muscles.
“Yeah girl, and he looks delicious tonight,” Buffy said, swigging her drink.
“What’s wrong, prima, you look a little, shall I say… nervous?” Raquel said, teasing me.
I replied to her, in denial, “I am not. What is there to be nervous about? It’s been five years. We’re both grown now and have moved on. It’s in the past.” I glared at her.
“Uh huh.” Raquel drank the last of her glass, eyeing me up and down like she could see right through me. Gods, I hated that so much. It was almost like she could read my thoughts.
“Actually, Jax is single and has been for a while from what the grapevine says.” Buffy winked at me with her bewitching eyes and dark brown luminous skin.
“You both are such jokesters, you know that right.” Deep down inside I couldn’t help but think about what she said. Jax was single? But I tried to convince myself,so what. I was a single mother, about to be divorced, who the hell would want me and all this baggage? Buffy grabbed Rocky’s hand and kissed it tenderly. The fact that these two bitches were together didn’t surprise me one bit. They looked so beautiful together it was utterly vile. The energy between them was kinetic. There was no denying how they looked at each other; with respect and trust. I so badly wanted to be looked at like that. But the thought of love repulsed me.
I glanced out the door quickly, nearly holding my breath. Bracing myself to see Jaxon Reed Grimwood—my Jax. But he wasn’t mine anymore.
“We’ll leave it to you, cousin, we’re gonna go prowl the bar and find ourselves a cowboy to ride tonight.” Rocky and Buffy walked off holding hands, both waving at me in a taunting fashion, with Buffy pretending to ride a horse. Those two were trouble. I giggled lightly.
“Have fun and use protection, or you’ll end up a single mother and a divorcee like me,” I yelled from across the bar. Rocky held her hand to her ear like she couldn’t hear me. Iturned to the bar quickly, beginning to clean glasses and shaking my head to myself, entertained.
“Is that right?” I went frigid. My heart was beating so hard I thought I’d faint right here, right now. I knew that voice. That deep, husky, silky voice belonged to no other than Jax. I glanced at the mirror, where all the liquor was stored for selection, looking straight into his hazel eyes in the reflection. Damn, he cleaned up nice. Why was this man so achingly beautiful?He switched out his blue collar country look for his rebel attire it seemed. He was wearing black Wrangler jeans and a black v-neck that hugged his pecs and arms. He sat there all smug and full of patches that readGrimwood,with his slicked back, dark brown, undercut hair, and Nordic tattoos that went all the way from his neck to his hands. Tattoos I didn’t notice before, due to his long sleeve shirt and gloves. He had changed so much, yet still had the same warm, hazel eyes. He was exquisitely handsome, and rugged—an outlaw cowboy daydream. I needed to gather myself, and quickly. The last thing I wanted to do was act like this was having some kind of effect on me,because it wasn’t.I turned, facing him, seemingly annoyed but more anxious.
