Page 71 of Tacos & Toboggans
“Fair,” he giggled. “But maybe I just wanted to spend more time with you. Ever think of that?”
“I had not.” The admittance felt foreign on my tongue. Not because I struggled with being wrong, but because he wanted to spend more time with me and wasn’t afraid to get his hands dirty to do it. “All of that said, today’s cookies were made in the test kitchen by our new baker apprentices. We start them out here slowly before we send them to the bakery to work with a mentor. It’s easier if they have a basic understanding of how a bakery works and some experience under their belt. We start with the simple items that will help build their confidence before they’re overwhelmed in a commercial bakery.” His smile was wide as he brushed his thumb against my cheek. “What?” I asked as he lowered his forehead to mine.
“Your kindness and compassion always overwhelm me when I listen to you talk about your job. You have so much love to share with people, and it shows.”
As I gazed into his deep blue eyes, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was one of those people I could share my love with. A scary thought, if I’d ever had one, so I leaned in for a kiss that said everything I couldn’t.
“What kind of tree should we get?” I asked the woman beside me as we plunged into the rows of trees. We’d spent a few minutes at the snack shack talking with the kids, who insisted we have a cup of cocoa and a cookie before we left. The cookies were as good as any I’d tasted, and Jaelyn’s chest was puffed up when she noticed they were almost sold out. It had been a good day for them today, but the shack would remain open until two, so they were working in the kitchen to make more cookies before the next wave of families arrived.
“I haven’t had a tree in a few years,” she admitted with a shrug.
The admittance was difficult for her, and I tugged her between two rows of evergreens and dropped the saw to the ground. “I haven’t either. If I said it’s been longer than that for both of us, would you agree?” Her nod was jerky but quick. “Then let’s make this a fresh start for both of us. A new way to celebrate the holidays. Let’s start by picking the best tree on this entire farm and cutting it down.”
“That could take us a while. There are a lot of trees here.”
“I noticed.” My smile was quicker than the kiss I laid on her, tugging her lower lip between mine to suckle the sweet sugar from it before I released her. “I’ve always been fond of blue spruce. How about you?”
“Love them,” she said with a smile as she played with her lower lip that I’d just completely devoured. “We’re on the wrong side of the farm for the blue spruce.”
“Lead on then.” She took my hand after I grabbed the saw, and we headed down a main path deeper into the forest. “Do you have any Christmas traditions that your family always did?”
She was silent for a few moments before she nodded. “You’d love this one. In Spain, on Christmas Eve, they have what is calledLa Misa Del Gallo,The Mass of the Rooster.”
My laughter escaped loud and happy as I wrapped my arm around her and hugged her to my side for a moment. “You’re right, I love it. Why is it named that?”
“It’s said that a rooster crowed the night Jesus was born,” she explained. “True or not, who knows, but after the mass, everyone walks through the streets while cheering and banging on drums to welcome in the day. Of course, there is always a ton of good food and sweet treats. What I remember is all the lights.”
“Lights?” I asked. “Like Christmas lights?”
“Bright and colorful ones,” she agreed. “I still have all my yaya’s in my storage unit. They were the one thing I couldn’t part with when it came to cleaning out her house. I thought maybe one day they’d be put to good use again by another Riba.”
Pulling her to a stop between two different rows of trees, I grasped her chin in my hand. “Today is that day. Let’s stop and pick them up on the way home. Maybe the festival of the lights is what we need to make this the best Christmas season yet.”
“I’d like that,” she agreed, staring at my chest, until I nudged her chin higher.
“Do you know what I’d like?” I asked, and she shook her head. “Several things come to mind. The first is for you to trust that I want to be here with you more than anything else in the world. I want to see you smile and laugh with me the way you do with the kids at the farm. I want you to stop guarding every word as though you’re going to say something wrong. Above all else, I want to make love to you and show you how good we can be together.”
Her throat bobbed as she swallowed, showing me her nerves. “That’s a lot of wants.”
“What can I say, I’m greedy that way. Side note, when I say I want you to smile and laugh with me the way you do with the kids, I don’t mean for a second that you can’t put your burdens on my shoulders. What I meant was, I want you to—”
“Stop guarding my heart,” she answered. “You want me to stop worrying about getting my heart broken and be all in. See, when I guard my words, that’s the reason. I’m worried I’ll say something like that and won’t be able to take it back. Major, it would be so easy to fall for you. Hell, I probably already have, but that complicates both of our lives here in Bells Pass, so I’m trying to spare you that awkwardness.”
Dropping the saw, I stepped closer until she was pressed against me, my arm holding her waist so she couldn’t escape. “Spare me the awkwardness?” I asked in disbelief, and she nodded, tipping her head a bit at the end as though it was a whatever. It so wasn’twhat the hell everfor me. “You’re not sparing me awkwardness. You’re denying me happiness, joy, and the hottest damn kisses I’ve ever shared with anyone in my life. When I kissed you in the gazebo that night, that wasn’t a whoopsie moment. It was a Hail Mary. I was leaving it in the hands of the gazebo to show you that we could be the best Christmas couple Bells Pass has ever had if you’d trust yourself and me.”
Before I could finish my raging soliloquy, her lips collided with mine in a fierce battle of wills. Hers were charged with anger, frustration, and longing, while I tried to assert my unspoken desires through the fevered exchange. The cold breeze whipped around us, the flurries stinging my skin and intensifying the moment.
Slowly, the fury melted away, yielding to a tender softness of exploration and acceptance. Her lips, once harsh and demanding, now explored the contours of my lips and tongue with a newfound gentleness. Raw emotions surged through me. Vulnerability had seeped into her embrace, and I drew her closer to anchor her against my warmth. It would reveal the truth of how I felt about her, but maybe it was time to let her know how much her touch turned me on and how deeply I had fallen for her. The kiss slowed, but I held on, determined to let her be the one to break it. She needed control in her life more than I needed it in mine, so as our breaths synced, an unspoken understanding blossomed. A moment of pure, unguarded intimacy borne of fear, hunger, and honesty. Whenour lips finally parted, I kept her tight against me as the breeze swirled snowflakes against our overheated skin.
“Does this feel awkward to you?” I asked, my hand on her bottom to keep her pressed against me so she could feel exactly what her kiss did to me every time.
“No,” she whispered. “Does it feel awkward to you?”
The laughter that escaped was more painful than amused. “I would liken it more to pained pleasure. The only thing that will be awkward about it is trying to walk when I let you go.”
“I’ve been worried you didn’t feel that way about me,” she admitted, holding my gaze this time as though she understood I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Why would you think that?” I asked, my forehead resting on hers. There were voices in the distance, and I wanted her answer before we were interrupted.
