Page 56 of Tacos & Toboggans
“As a doctor, I had plenty of experience with living and working with PTSD. You don’t do what I do in that type of setting without developing it. The human psyche isn’t designed to repeatedly witness such horror without being affected by it. However, when you become the victim of a physical attack like that, the mind struggles to be in the same setting and not split its attention between your work and your safety. My work requires all my concentration, so there was never any question that I’d retire. When the bombing happened, I was already trying to decide whether I would re-up or walk away. That night, while I was out with my friends before the bomb went off, I’d decided it was time to leave. I’d spent enough years overseas, and it was time to return to the States and start a life. It was easy to take the honorabledischarge, knowing I’d made that decision before I was injured.”
“Peace with a decision like that is important,” she said. “Purple Heart?”
“And Silver Star,” I agreed. “Not that I wanted either. I would have walked away happy as a lark not to have those two medals on my uniform, but that wasn’t how it went down.”
“Are you a member of the Disabled Veterans group like Dawson is?”
“Nope,” I answered with a shake of my head. “Some guys like to be involved after they leave the service. I prefer to serve in the operating room. Anything else stirs things up to the point I can’t sleep at all. That’s not acceptable when someone’s loved one is on my table, expecting a good result. The shared experience is there within those groups, but I can’t do it. Wish I could, so hats off to those that can.”
“Hey,” she said, grasping my face in her hands, the cool plastic of the splint snapping me back from the brink of memories that were more like nightmares. “No justification is needed. It was a question, nothing more. Thank you for helping me understand where you’re coming from, but as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t change anything.”
“Because I’m so inspirational?” I asked, trying hard not to be sarcastic, but also needing to know if that was her jumping-off point. If that was the basis for our relationship, then this would never last.
“No, because you’re the same person with that hunk of metal and plastic off that you are with it on. Your lived experiences shaped who you are, and that leg doesn’t make them go away every day when you put it on. It’s a tool, but it doesn’t rewind time. I really like the person you are, and you wouldn’t be that person without that leg.”
“You might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Jaelyn Riba.”
“Well, my Spanish rice is pretty good,” she said, making me laugh.
Resting my forehead against hers, I gazed into her eyes, losing myself in the depth of her brown ones and the depth ofher heart. She was the most beautiful, caring, considerate, down-to-earth woman I’d ever known.
“It’s like the job here in Bells Pass was a mulligan from the universe,” I whispered, my thumb stroking her pink lips as her tongue darted out to wet them.
“What does that mean?”
“A correction shot,” I clarified. “A do-over, so to speak. One way or another, I had to find my way here to meet you. Everything that came before this was part of that journey, but you were the prize.”
Her laughter was light, but awkward, though she never looked away. “I’m no prize, Major. I hog the bed, leave the cap off the toothpaste, and sleep like a toddler who had too many Pixie Sticks.”
It was my turn to laugh. I couldn’t help it, considering the image that painted. “I’d be honored if you’d hog my bed, use my toothpaste, and maybe if I can trap you up in my arms and hold you until you drift off to sleep, it will be like a baby.”
“Now that’s something I’m willing to try,” she whispered, leaning in until our lips connected, but at that moment, the connection our hearts made was the one that mattered most.
Chapter Nineteen
The relief in Major’s voice was enough to break my heart. He’d been hurt in the past, and not just physically, so it was easy to understand why he thought I would hurt him too.
“As humans, we build up a lot of defenses to protect ourselves, don’t we?” I asked, my lips almost on his. “You don’t have to do that with me.”
“I see that now,” he whispered. “Your reluctance to allow me to get close to you made me wonder if you already knew, and that’s what was holding you back.”
“No,” I replied, kissing his lips with a quick peck. “My reluctance to get close to you was also a defense put in place to protect myself. I have no room to talk when it comes to building defenses, but I’ll work on mine if you promise to do the same.”
“It’s a promise. Will you allow me to take you out on a real date? One where we put everything else aside to get to know each other better.”
“I accept, Dr. Warren. That said, in my opinion, we’ve been on lots of dates.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, his brow going up as I moved away from his lips a hair. “Tell me more.”
“We’ve eaten many meals together at the diner, had fun at the bakery, wrangled a taco truck, and spent more intimate nights here in your home than I’ve ever spent with any other man. There was also that trip to the tree farm where said incredibly handsome doctor laid one on me that nearly laid me out.”
His lips were tugged up in a smile. “When you put it that way, you’re right. However, this doctor is a bit embarrassed about that trip to the tree farm. You overheard me talking to Becca when I should have just been talking to you.”
“Don’t be embarrassed,” I said, shaking my head slightly. “Vulnerability isn’t easy, but I respected that you would go to someone with a shared experience to shore you up and give you advice. I mean that. I really do.”
“You’re one of the most unusual women I’ve ever met, and I’m so lucky to get to know you better. Maybe I can get that mulligan for the tree farm?”
“That can be arranged,” I agreed. “We will need a tree for Christmas, after all.”
