Page 40 of I Replaced His Husband
"I don't wanna talk about it," I snapped through clenched teeth, avoiding his eyes.
He stayed quiet for a moment, biting his lip. Yeah, I kept putting him in this constant dilemma, unsure how to react, what to say. I knew he was always tiptoeing around me, carefully dodging all the spikes I threw at him. I just kept tossing more his way, more challenges, more hurdles to clear. In a strange way, they started to feel like tests. That’s how I began to see them: tests of his character… Why? For some reason I couldn’t even name.
"Do you want me to hug you?"
And there it was again, that soft, respectful question, offered with room for me to say no. He always left space for me to choose.
So I growled. It just came out of me.
"For what? Sex?"
A faint blush colored his cheeks.
"Not necessarily. I just thought maybe you needed a hug. I don’t know how it is for you, but in my family, we hugged a lot. My dad was one of those people who believed everyone should hug at least twelve times a day. He said it lifted your mood, helped you get through stuff. It’s good for the nervous system."
His whole caring-alpha energy drove me crazy. Maybe someone else would’ve found it sweet, but for me it was just… so painful.
I didn’t look at him. I don’t know why, but I had to fight off tears for a second. Ever since Maurice died, so few people had hugged me. My brothers were never the hugging type. Always too cautious, almost scared to get close to me, like I was made of porcelain.
Rain was a stranger, and an annoying one at that. I didn’t want him here. But maybe that’s exactly why, if he hugged me, it’d feel easier. More distant. Less personal.
Still, my mouth reacted faster than my brain could think.
"I don’t need that from you."
Rain didn’t say anything. He just sat there, thoughtful. I glared at him, just super quick, and saw those long lashes of his almost brushing against high cheekbones as he stared at the floor. No alpha should have lashes that long. It was ridiculous. And kind of adorable.
He didn’t leave. I sort of hoped he would, but he stayed. His presence kept filling the room like a force field I had to resist. And then I noticed, his hand had gotten closer to mine. Closeenough to feel its heat. Those veins on the back of his hand and forearm were distracting as hell. Sexy.
I stared at it like it was some kind of snake moving across the sheets. His fingers slowly crept closer, inch by inch. Eventually, they stopped maybe a quarter of an inch from my pinky. He just left his hand there, unmoving, warm.
Why was my heart beating faster? I could already catch a trace of his scent, not his Allure, since he was on blockers, but soap, and a hint of sea breeze, fresh, nice.
His hand stayed where it was. He was giving me another chance, a way to say yes. He didn’t buy my crap about not needing a hug.
"Fine. If you want," I muttered like I was doing him a favor.
He smiled softly. His arms wrapped around me, comforting and firm, and his scent surrounded me as I leaned into his neck, near his left gland. Up close, I saw the faint bite mark his ex-husband had left over a year and a half ago. It was almost gone. Probably would’ve looked better without it, though it wasn’t really my business.
My cheek rested against his skin. Rain was so warm. Alphas always were. That warmth in their touch, the grounding presence of their embrace… it made you feel safe, anchored. I could lie to myself all I wanted, but his touch didn’t feel bad. It made me melt into a puddle of pure need.
I realized I was leaning into him more and more, letting my weight fall against his chest. Rain’s hands were gently stroking my back. It was… so soothing. Comforting. Relaxing. And everything else disappeared. I felt calm, weightless. Like I’d closed my eyes and landed on a warm beach somewhere, the sun shining, the ocean whispering, and no pain, no problems, no judgment around me.
In his arms, I could forget.
Rain turned his head, and his lips brushed against my cheek, kissing me lightly. Part of me knew I should pull away, tell him he was crossing a line, that I wasn’t ready for this kind of closeness. But another part of me, it felt like catching your breath after running for miles. A littlesip of life.
Something fuzzy spread through my chest, or maybe it was like a pink balloon filling with air, lifting me on a soft breeze.
But I couldn’t let myself drift like that. Not into comfort. Not into something that wasn’t meant for me, not now. I had responsibilities. Priorities. I had to get my feet back on the ground. This needed to be brought down to business.
So I whispered in his ear, "Fuck me."
He paused, just for a moment.
"Are you sure? If their visit really upset you—"
"No. I want my needs met. It helps me feel better," I said sharply.
