Page 10 of Unloaded
I can’t be the kind of man a woman like her deserves. I have too many demons in my past. I’ve seen and done too much. I can’t taint a beautiful soul like hers. I need to keep my distance. She isn’t a one and done kind of woman. But more than that, I know deep down, once I’ve had her in my bed, I’ll never want to let her go. I won’t do that to her, tie her to me and my blackened heart.
I turn away and head back inside to join my family and friends, doing my best to put the woman out of my mind. An easier said than done task, I soon come to find out.
4
RACHEL
Istill haven’t gotten myself under control when I reach the extended stay hotel my brothers and I are staying in. Fortunately I find a parking spot that isn’t too far from the door. Dark, empty parking lots make me nervous. I’m always expecting my stepfather or one of his goons to appear out of the shadows. Locking the van’s doors, I head toward the entrance.
After starting this job with Marley and Luke Robertson, I’ll need to find us an apartment or cheap rental house. Especially if I’m going to be around the enticing Rosco Robertson very much. It has never really bothered me, not having privacy when my brothers and I have stayed in motels over the years. Tonight, however, I’d give a king’s ransom to have my own room so I could get myself off to relieve this raging desire coursing through me.
Rosco Robertson has awoken a part of me I’d long ago turned off due to the responsibilities of raising my brothers and the anxiety of letting anyone get close to us for fear it would make us vulnerable to being caught by the demons chasing us. I haven’t felt the urge to have sex in years.
Tonight I’m imagining a tall, dark, handsome man with deep chocolate eyes, and all the wicked things I want to do to him and have him do to me.Ugh!I need to get myself under control.Stop thinking about it!
Entering the lobby, I make my way to the elevator and hurry up to our room. Swiping my keycard, I ease the door open. After the syrup and feathers fiasco I’m always cautious when entering where ever we are staying. Yes, it has been three years since they pulled that particular prank, but one can never be too careful.
The boys are sprawled out on the sofa in our room. Each of them with a headset on and a game controller in hand. Their fingers flying feverishly over the controls.
“Watch out!” Ricky yells, rising up from his slouched position. “Go left Nicky, hurry!” Unbelievably their fingers move even faster as they attempt to conquer whatever game they’re playing today.
My brothers are very active in the gaming world and often get invited to beta test new games before they hit the market. They’ve even been working on their own game which they hope to be able to launch in the near future, but I haven’t allowed them to pitch it to anyone for fear it will be good enough to get picked up.
We can’t afford the exposure even though we use aliases wherever we go. I would be unable to keep their faces out of the media if their game became successful and gained national attention. I know they both understand, to some degree, but I still feel bad for them having to hide and live in fear of someone recognizing them.
“Fuck!” Nicky exclaims, dragging his headset off.
“Damn it!” Ricky yells, jerking his headset off, too. “I’m sorry I got us both killed.”
“Boys, do I need to wash your mouths out…again?” I question causing both boys heads to whip in my direction.They’ve been so focused on the game they hadn’t noticed I’d entered the room, which is dangerous, and they both know it.
“I’m sorry, Rach,” Nicky apologizes. “I didn’t know you were back.”
“How’d the job interview go?” Ricky joins in, trying to deflect my attention and hoping I’ll give up on giving them the riot act for cursing. I suppose it’s a lost cause at this point. They’ll be eighteen in less than a year, but they’ll always be kids to me.
“I didn’t get the job,” I inform them. Their faces fall, both of them knew how much I’d been hoping to land this one. “However, it wasn’t a wasted trip. The man I went to see introduced me to a couple who are opening a new restaurant soon. I have a meeting with them in the morning at nine, so I need to head to bed. You guys need to do the same. You have school in the morning.”
The boys groan and roll their eyes but turn off the game console and TV before shoving at the other in an attempt to be the first one in the bathroom to get ready for bed.
They each take their turn in the small bathroom brushing their teeth and using the facilities. I wait until they’ve both had their turn before heading inside. I take longer than usual, deciding to get into the shower so I can release the tension in my body with at least the noise of the running water to stifle the sound of what I’m doing. I emerge to a darkened room.
The boys are settled into their bed. I head over to climb into mine. The living conditions aren’t ideal, but in the short term, it’ll do. I’m grateful the boys don’t fuss too often about having to share a bed at seventeen. They’ve been remarkably resilient through all of the running, hiding, and pretending to be someone we aren’t.
I struggle to find sleep, despite giving myself a halfway decent orgasm in the shower. My mind keeps drifting to the sexy man at the bar. I need to get Rosco Robertson out of my head. Ican’t afford distractions, and that is exactly what that man is: a distraction with a capital D.
A part of me thinks I deserve to indulge in a distraction. It’s been over five years since I’ve been with a man. The old vajayjay is dried up at this point, but a night of pleasure isn’t worth the risk to my boys. I’ll just have to be satisfied with pleasuring myself in the shower using my fingers. Sleep is a long time coming, but at last, I drift off to dream of dark chocolate eyes, muscles, and tattoos.
The next morning, the alarm goes off much too early for my liking, pulling me out of a delightful dream just as I got to the good part, but instead of hitting the snooze, I climb out of bed and head for the bathroom.
The boys are still sleeping, although I don’t know how the way they’re spread out on the queen bed. They’ve grown a lot in the last couple of years. Their feet hang off the end of the bed with hardly any room between their bodies. I suppose that’s why the cover is always thrown off come morning. The closeness generating too much body heat for them to need it.
I take another longer than usual shower in an effort to quelch the burning desire brought on by my triple-X rated dreams. It’s futile. It does little to calm the storm Rosco has created in my body. I make quick work of brushing my teeth, fixing my hair, doing my makeup, and getting dressed. I’ve taken too long in here already.
I’d debated over what to wear this morning, but Marley had insisted I dress casually. She’d said we’d be going to the restaurant that is currently under renovations. It seems Luke had bought an empty office space that they are converting into a restaurant. I exit the bathroom to find Nicky is wide awake, but Ricky is still out.
“Why’d you take another shower?” Nicky questions, eyeing me with curiosity.
“Wh-what?” I return caught off guard by his question. My face heating as I recall the reason for my extended and frequent shower times.
