Page 82 of Unloaded
RACHEL
His words are music to my ears and daggers to my heart at the same time. Words I’ve wanted to hear so badly, but never thought I would. They’ve stolen my breath, caused my heart to race, and my mind to freeze.Now what do I do? What do I say?
I should be angry with him. He let me walk away. He didn’t fight for us. He didn’t keep the boys safe when he promised they would be protected. Yet how can I be angry?
There’s no way I could’ve prevented Vena from killing me and taking the boys on my own, and I’ve had six years of practice in evading him. So how can I expect Rosco to prevent it when he wasn’t even there. He was risking his life to keep me alive.
Not only that, but I’d known all along Rosco would push me away when the feels got to be too much. He did exactly what I expected after we’d had the best night of my life. He doesn’t…or he hadn’t felt worthy of having someone love him. I knew that. If there’s anyone to be upset with, it’s myself.
I’d let myself hope, to dream of a life that could never be. It’s a dangerous move for someone on the run. Yet here we are. Him, declaring his love for me and asking me to give him a chance.And me,God!I want to give in! I want to believe it will all work itself out, but will it?
Knowing what I now know about my family, about Uncle Nicolai, gives me hope, but as much as I love Rosco, without my brothers, life wouldn’t be the same. I could never be happy knowing the life they’re being forced to live.
“Ros—”
“Ang—”
We both begin to speak, then cut off at the same time, chuckling nervously.
“Ladies first,” Rosco says. I take a deep breath and lick my dry lips. Words need to be said, but I’m not sure what to say, where to begin. Rosco picks up a cup of water sitting on my bedside table. He holds the straw to my lips, and I take a few sips of the cool water, stalling the inevitable. At last, I have no other options but to speak.
“Rosco, I’m sorry I took off without talking to you first.” I look up at him to see his reaction to my words. His normal scowl is absent. The soft look on his face makes him even more handsome, if that’s possible. “I thought I was doing what was best for everyone.”
“I know. There’s no need foryouto apologize, angel.” Rosco takes my small hand in his much larger one. “I’m the one who should apologize to you. I thought I was doing what was right for you, but all I did was hurt you.
“We both made mistakes. We both said or left unsaid and did or didn’t do things we wish we could change, but we can’t. It’s in the past. Where it belongs. All we have is now. This is something I’m trying to accept.”
“What’s changed?” I ask, when he pulls my hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the palm of my hand. He frowns down at me. “Why are you talking like we might have a future?”
“When I got to Luke’s and you weren’t there, I was devastated. I’d convinced myself that I could protect you, make sure you were safe, then let you go because that is what would be best for you. But when you weren’t there, I felt hollow.
“Then Detective Atwood informed us that your van had been found on the side of the road with blood on the shattered windshield, but you were nowhere to be found. It felt like my heart stopped beating. I couldn’t breathe. The need to find you and know you were okay was overwhelming. Bo had to hold me back from running off half-cocked.
“I know I’ve been a fool. I see that now. Bo told me something the day Luke and Marley got married. It’s been playing over and over in my head, and I’m finally beginning to believe it.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He said,‘Don’t deny your woman the man she needs just because you don’t feel worthy. The love and care you give her is what will make you worthy of her love.’
“I do love you, angel. I want to show you every day how wonderful you are and how much I need you in my life. I failed you before, but if you’ll give me a second chance, you’ll never doubt how much you are loved and wanted. I won’t push you away again.”
“Are you certain?” I ask as tears fill my eyes. “I can’t go through that again. I knew you were going to push me away when we got too close. I thought I’d prepared myself for it, but when it happened? It was so much worse than I’d thought it would be, because I’m in love with you, too.”
Rosco’s eyes widen with shock, quickly followed by relief.
“Yes, Rachel. I’m certain.” He presses his forehead to mine. “I’ll never hurt you like that again.” I nod and sigh as all the stress from the day eases a little more.
“All we can do now is move forward…together?” The uncertainty in his voice is new. He’s always so in command ofevery situation. I didn’t expect this from him. He lifts his head to hold my gaze and await my answer.
His chocolate eyes are like an open window to his soul. He doesn’t shutter his emotions behind the walls where he normally hides. His love for me and the fear that I won’t agree are on display, front and center.
As fearful as I am about the future and what it will hold, I love this man. I need him in my life. Running had been foolish. Even if I’d managed to get the boys away before Vena found us, I would have come back or withered away from a broken heart.
“Yes,” I answer. “Together.” The smile that graces his face is gorgeous and blinding. It feels like my heart will explode out of my body from the love I feel flowing between us.
Rosco leans over, kissing me ever so gently, but I don’t want gentle. I wanthim.I can feel him start to pull away, so I grip his head, holding him where I want him as I take over the kiss, deepening it, demanding entry into his mouth. He obliges me. The kiss turns wild, a battle of wills, much like it was in his bed when he fucked me. I want that again, every day for the rest of my life. I pull back, panting. “I…I love you.”
“I know,” he says with an annoying cocky grin on his face. I glare at him which only draws laughter from him. “I love you, angel. I’ve been in love with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I was just too afraid to admit it.”
