Page 38 of Unloaded
I turn away, looking out at the ocean. I have seen a change in Shelby since I first met her. She is coming out of her shell, becoming more confident. She definitely lights up whenever she’s around Bo, so maybe he’s right. He is just what she needs.
“Don’t deny your woman the man she needs just because you don’t feel worthy. The love and care you give her is what will make you worthy of her love.”
“Fuck me running,” Enos says, appearing next to us. “Bo Robertson is actually making a good point for once in his life. I never thought I’d see the day.” Bo flips him a one finger salute, causing Enos and I to laugh at Bo’s expense.
Enos turns to me. “He’s right, you know. You may not feel worthy of her when you find her, but you’ll find yourself moving heaven and earth to be the man she needs you to be.” His eyes drift to Kristen Jones. So, it’s true, Enos is a goner, too. I’m the last man standing.
Rachel slips off my lap,bringing me out of my memory. I miss the warmth of her body already. I’m tempted to pull her back down, but it would embarrass her by making a scene. Still, I clasp her hand before she can get too far away. Her eyes find mine, a smile playing on her lips.
“Where are you going?” I ask, keeping my voice low to not draw attention.
“We’re going to make dinner for everyone,” Rachel answers, gesturing to Marley and Shelby who are also getting up from the sofa. Shelby strolls over with a big knowing smile on her face. She lays my nephew in my arms and the women turn toward my kitchen.
I look down at the little bundle in my arms. He blinks his dark blue eyes at me and yawns. His little arms and legs kicking out as he stretches. He’s so tiny and fragile. I have no idea what to do with him should he cry.
I’ve held both of my nephews since they’ve been born, but only briefly and with one of their parents next to me. Panic ensues worse than facing down a group of insurgents when I’m on my last clip of ammo. Looking up I see the women are almost out of the room.
“Wait!” I shout, startling Axel and causing him to cry. “Fuck! Sorry, little man,” I say in a sing-song voice while bouncing him gently. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” I look up, desperately searching the room for someone to help. Axel’s tiny cries are breaking the heart I didn’t think I had.
Shelby peeks back at me with a grin. “He’s all right. You just startled him,” she says, calmly. “Put him up on your shoulder while supporting his head and pat his back. He’s getting sleepy. He’ll be out before you know it.” And with that, she disappears into the kitchen.
I look over to see Bo and Luke, who is holding his son, grinning at me. I can tell they’re not coming to my rescue. Carefully I shift Axel around and get him onto my shoulder and begin patting him like Shelby said. “Looks like it’s just you and me, little man.”
17
RACHEL
Ipeek around the arch and watch Rosco struggling to arrange Axel on his shoulder, ready to intervene should he need assistance. He looks completely terrified but is managing to soothe the crying infant. My ovaries are doing cartwheels at the sight. It’s all I can do to not beg Shelby to take her son so I can drag Rosco off to his bed and make one of our own.
Whoa! Full stop!
Definitely not where my mind should be right now, not with my stepfather gunning for me and the boys. Sadness overcomes me. No matter how much I might want a relationship with him, it can never be. I can’t put him in that kind of danger.
With a deep inhale, resigning myself to accept this, I turn toward the kitchen once I’m convinced Rosco doesn’t need help. I look up to see Marley and Shelby with huge grins on their faces.
“What?” I demand, not even trying to suppress my eye roll. I know what they’re thinking. Hell, it’s what I was thinking, too, but I need to be clear. Rosco and I will never be a couple, no matter how much I want us to be.
“Come on Rachel,” Marley cajoles, “you want him and seeing him with Axel increases that want tenfold.” I can’t deny it. She’sone hundred percent correct. Yet it doesn’t change the fact I’m running from the mob and Rosco doesn’t want to want me.
“Wanting him and having him are two different things,” I say, moving to the refrigerator to see if he has anything to cook. I open the door and stare in shock at the stark shelves.
A nearly empty half-gallon of milk sits on the top shelf next to a molded lump wrapped in plastic. There are a few wrapped cheese slices in the door next to an empty carton of eggs. The middle shelf is completely bare, but all is not lost. He has several bottles of beer on the bottom shelf.
Fearing what I’ll find, I bravely open the meat and vegetable draws to find them empty, too, except for half a bag of wilted romaine lettuce and a very soft, nearly rotten cucumber.
“Eww!” I complain, pulling the drawer all the way out and dumping its contents into the trash. Marley and Shelby have joined me at the fridge. We all have matching looks of disgust on our faces.
“No wonder he’s always eating at our house,” Marley comments. She opens a cabinet door finding those shelves mostly bare, too. A lone box of cereal and one can of chunky vegetable beef soup are all that’s there. We open the rest of the doors finding even less.
“Well so much for cooking them a meal,” Shelby complains, opening a lower cabinet next to the stove. “At least he does have a set of cookware.” I look down to see a mostly pristine set, only one pot looks as though it’s been used with any frequency. I suspect that’s his heating up soup pot.
“It’s fine. I placed an order on the way over here. It’s set to be delivered any minute now,” Marley declares, pulling out her phone and typing on it with gusto. “Luke thought I was crazy to pay for Walmart+, but since the baby’s come along? He’s more than happy I have it. It’s a life saver when you’re nearly out of diapers and wipes but too exhausted to think about drivingto the store. I just place an order, and a few hours later, viola! Diapers and wipes and whatever else I order on impulse.”
Shelby and I laugh at Marley’s excitement over having groceries delivered. It’s something I’ve never been able to afford, but I can definitely see the benefits, especially with a newborn.
“So, what did you order?” Shelby asks. Marley is still checking the app on her phone. She looks up briefly.
“Um, everything? He literally has nothing,” Marley answers with a laugh. “I knew we’d need everything. I don’t think he even has a salt shaker.” Sparing a glance at the stove, I spy the set.
