Page 37 of Unloaded
“What exactly did you hear, Rachel?” Luke asks. All eyes in the room focus on us. Rachel swallows hard, but doesn’t answer right away.
“Let me think,” she finally says, letting out a sigh. “I was so frightened I’m not sure I can remember everything.” My hand rises and strokes down the back of her head. My fingers tangling in the long strands.
“Take your time,” I assure her. She glances at me with a grateful smile. Her body relaxes a fraction. It soothes somethinginside me. Warm feelings flood my chest. Her trust in me will be my undoing. I’ve tried so hard to keep her at arm’s length, but I can’t any longer.
“From what I could hear of their conversation, Lawrence and Reginald were looking at security camera images of me and discussing what Gladys had overheard at Mrs. Cruise’s charity auction,” Rachel says after a bit. “Reginald agreed that I am who he’s been looking for.” Her hand grabs the necklace she’s wearing.
“My mother gave this to me when I graduated high school,” Rachel murmurs softly, as if speaking to herself, then looks up at the room. “He recognized it. He wanted to grab me right then, but they couldn’t find me on any of the working cameras. Lawrence said a storm had knocked out the server the inside cameras were on.”
“That’s lucky for you,” Enos comments, drawing the room’s attention. “If they could have followed you inside, they would’ve known you were in the room with them. They could’ve taken you, and we’d never have known what had happened.”
My heart and breath stop at the realization I came so very close to losing Rachel to those monsters. Who knows what they would’ve done to her in the meantime. Rachel shivers while turning to bury her face in my neck. Her hands fist my shirt. I hold her tightly, not only for her benefit.
The room remains silent as we all absorb Enos’s words. I spare a glance at the twins. Their faces set in identical hard masks. This is as hard on them as it is for Rachel and me. Maybe more so. This is their father we’re talking about. A man who is supposed to love them and want the best for them, but he only wants them to further his legacy as a mob boss.
Rachel gives me a squeeze then sits up to meet my gaze. “Thank you,” she whispers softly. Then shifts so she can face the room once more.
“I remember more. They didn’t take me because they were hoping I’d lead them to the boys.” The twins sit up straighter and stare at Rachel. “Lawrence told Vena they could follow me from the restaurant and take all three of us at the same time.” She turns to me. “That’s why I freaked out when you mentioned the restaurant.” I nod remembering our conversation in the truck.
“We need someone watching Winthrop and this Vena character. We also need to be monitoring their communications,” I demand, looking over at Kelvin, knowing he’s the best one to hack into their comms.
The room erupts into chatter. Luke, Bo, Enos, and Kelvin are all talking over one another as they discuss how to set up surveillance, hack into their security system, and gain access to their phones.
Rachel relaxes into me, and it’s the best damn feeling in the world. A feeling of rightness and contentment comes over me from having her in my arms. A new reality hits me. I want this. Ineedthis more than anything I’ve ever needed in my life, including the need to take back my actions that lead to 1Lt. Montgomery’s suicide. This thought jolts my whole psyche.
I’ve spent the last six years beating myself up over her death. A death I should have been able to prevent but failed. Yet Rachel is so much more important on every level. No harm can come to her. I won’t survive if I lose her. I should hand off her safety to Luke. Let him assign her a bodyguard and set her up in a safe house, but I can’t. I won’t.
She needsme, not some random guy Luke sends to guard her. She trusts me even though I’ve been an asshole, keeping her at arm’s length. So many times, I’ve wondered why I didn’t die in the desert alongside the 1Lt. Now I know the answer.
Rachel is mine. Mine to care for, to keep safe, and once I’m certain of that, mine to let go of so she can live her best life. I won’t deny her the man she needs to get her through this crisis,but when it’s over the only thing I can do is set her free. She deserves the best in life. I know that I am not that…not even close.
In the meantime, though, I am what she needs to keep her safe from these fucking mobsters who want to destroy her and her brothers. A conversation I had with Bo at Luke’s wedding comes to mind. I’d dismissed it at the time as some lovesick rambling, but now, it has more meaning.
Luke and Marley’s wedding…
My brothers, Bo, Enos, and I are on Luke’s deck, waiting for our cue to walk our escorts down the boardwalk. I hear the women stepping out of the house and onto the deck. Bo has a goofy look on his face as he stares at Shelby, his escort for the ceremony.
“Why do you have that sappy look on your face?” I question. He gives me a side-eye. His grin growing wider. “You too?”
“Yeah,” he admits, shocking me. I never thought I’d see the day the mighty Bo Robertson has actual feelings for someone, much less fall in love. Another of my brothers has fallen victim to the lovebug that has been taking them out one by one. First, Luke, now Bo, and if I’m not mistaken, Enos is half in love with our enemy, Kristen Jones, but that’s a story for another time.
“I’m happy for you, Bo,” I say, even though I feel out of sorts at his declaration. I’m not jealous. I feel lost with everything changing.
I know I’ll never have what Luke and Marley have or what it appears Bo and Shelby are starting. For one, I don’t deserve it, but more than that, I’m not capable of letting anyone get that close. The more people you care for, the more opportunities youhave of being wounded when something happens to them. It’s already happened too many times.
I hadn’t wanted to like Marley when she first came to stay at Luke’s. I hadn’t disliked her; I just hadn’t wanted to develop a friendship with her, because if she got hurt or left our lives, I’d have to feel it. I’ve dealt with loss enough. I didn’t think I had anything left, but I have come to care for her and Shelby.
Those women have wormed their way into the shell of my dried-up heart. When they’d been taken, I’d felt a deep soul crushing pain. I’d feared my brother would lose his girl forever. Luke would never have been the same if that’d happened. We’d been lucky. We’d gotten them both back. They’d been battered and bruised, but they are alive and well. They’re so much like Daisy, our sister. Survivors.
“Hey, you’ll find your woman, too,” Bo declares, pulling me out of my head. He says it with a certainty that shocks me. “She’s out there; you just have to be willing to recognize her when you see her.” I scoff, shaking my head. Heisinsane.
“I wouldn’t do that to some poor woman,” I assert fervently. “I wouldn’t wish my fucked-up self on my worst enemy.” Bo gives me an incredulous look before he carries on trying to convince me he knows what he’s talking about.
“Just think about this,” Bo continues. It irritates me that he’s unwilling to let this go. “There is a woman out there, who is going to need you, in some way, just as much as you need her to bring you back to the light.” I frown at his words. Has he completely lost it? What’s he even talking about? “It’s true!” he continues, nodding his head in emphasis.
“Do you think I wanted to subject Shelby to me? The immature king of the one-night stand? I don’t deserve her on any level. I know what you all thought of me, and until I met her, I didn’t care about my bad reputation, but then she barreled into my life.
“Now, all I can think about is her and what she needs.” I stare at him, trying desperately to understand his thinking, but I don’t understand, at all. “As bad as my reputation is, Shelby needsme. I’m the man who calms her nightmares. I’m the man she looks to when she’s afraid. I’m the man who is slowly, but surely, making her see how beautiful she is. She needs me. No one else.”
