Page 35 of Abigail
“Todd!” The admiral’s voice booms as he strides up the steps. “What the hell are you doing here? Are you wanting to go back to prison? This is a condition of your release. NO CONTACT. What part of that do you not comprehend?” Abigail has never seen the admiral so furious before. Wait! His release? Why wasn’t Abi told he had been released?
“Oh, you’d love that wouldn’t you, dear old, Dad?” Todd sneers at his father. “I would never have been in prison if it weren’t for you and that bitch.” Todd nods in Abigail’s direction. “I finally get out only to find that the two of you have been living it up while I was rotting in that hellhole. Keeping my daughter from me? That’s low even for you, Dad.”
“I’m not going to argue with you about this again,” the admiral says through gritted teeth. “Your mistakes are your own, son…”
“Don’t!” Todd yells, interrupting the admiral. “You’ve made it plain; I’m not your son. I’ve shamed and embarrassed the high and mighty Admiral Jenkins of the U.S Navy. Lowly Todd isn’t worthy to be in the great man’s presence.” The bitterness rolling off him is sickening. It doesn’t appear that Todd has learned anything during his incarceration. If anything, he’s worse than ever. At least, Abi had never heard him speak to his father like this before. He’d always been polite and respectful in front of him. When they were away from him, that had been a different story. Todd would say these types of things to her in private, but never to the man’s face.
“Todd, we are leaving now,” the admiral says in a low voice full of authority. Abigail is sure that’s the same tone he uses to command the men under him. Todd heard it, too and wisely pays attention to it this time. “I’m taking you to the boarding house where you are supposed to be staying. If you break the conditions of your release again, I will send you back to prison myself. Are. We. Clear?”
Todd’s shoulders drop in defeat. He nods his agreement, though he keeps his eyes down, refusing to look the admiral in the eye. Ace and Hack haul him to his feet, but they don’t bother to remove the zip ties that have him bound. Todd’s apparently forgotten about them too. He attempts to follow his father off the porch, but he stumbles. Worm shoots out a hand, steading him, before bending down to cut the ties around his ankles but leaves his hands bound. Todd follows his father down the steps. His head down, shoulders slumped as if he is remorseful for his behavior. If he’d been anyone else, Abi would have believed it and maybe even felt some pity for him, but this isn’t anyone else. Abi knows him too well. The five years it’s been since she’d last seen him laying bloodied on the floor of their apartment hasn’t changed him. This Abi knows without any doubt, he’s the same as he’s always been. She’d heard it in his words, his voice, and she seen it in his eyes when he’d looked at her. He will play contrite, remorseful only as long as it benefits him. Then when the time is right in his eyes, he’ll strike out again, more vicious than ever.
“Ellie!” Abigail whispers as she suddenly wonders where her daughter is at this very moment. Robert immediately comforts her.
“Marla has her,” Robert informs her. “The admiral doesn’t want Todd to know anything about Ellie right now. He knows that Todd’s still too unstable to be around her. He’ll never let Todd get near her. Hawk, Charlotte, and Mark Olson are sitting with them while he gets Todd settled. Virus, Bull, Mercury, and Hack will be keeping an eye on him this weekend until other arrangements can be made to keep Todd where he’s supposed to be.”
“Wait, how do you know all this?” Abigail asks. Looking up at Robert, she sees guilt flash across his face before he manages to hide it away. His operator mode falling over his handsome face. Abigail has only seen it a few times, but enough that she recognizes it. He always lets it fall into place when he’s about to go out the door to leave for a mission. It’s the look he gets so she can’t see how hard it is for him to leave her and Ellie to go do his job. He thinks that he hides it from her, but she sees. She knows. Even when he’s in full on operator mode, he can’t hide it from her. At least, she didn’t think he could hide anything from her, but maybe she’s missed something. Maybe she’s been too blinded by love to see what’s really been going on. Maybe he’s a better liar, manipulator than Todd. She steps back from him, studying him closely. Wariness has entered his eyes briefly, but then he hides it away once again.
“The admiral let me know a couple of days ago that Todd was being released,” Robert answers, calmly. Abigail’s heart begins to race. The betrayal hitting her hard. Why hadn’t he toldher? She’s the one who needs to know. She’s the one who has to protect Ellie from that monster. Robert seems to see the shift in her thoughts. Abi still isn’t sure that he can’t read minds because he seems to know her thoughts most of the time. “We didn’t tell you because we didn’t want you to worry…Ididn’t want you to worry,” he quickly amends.
“Robert that wasn’t your decision to make,” Abigail replies heatedly. “I needed to know…I needed to know!How can I keep Ellie safe if I don’t know he’s out there on the loose?” She turns away from him and begins to pace along the porch. Her mind begins to race as the reality of the situation hits her. She has to get away from here as soon as possible. Todd is freaking crazier now than he was before. There’s no way he will let this drop. She has a small nest egg in her checking thanks to Robert insisting that she not bother with paying bills and getting groceries. Although she does pay for a few things here and there, she’s been saving her salary from the homeless shelter. She’s been saving to buy another car. She’s been driving Robert’s SUV since they’ve been together. He’d insisted he would ride with Tank to base, so she should just drive his. He’d offered to buy her one of her own if she really wanted her own vehicle, but she’d shut that down right away. While in some ways she has allowed herself to be somewhat dependent on Robert, she’s determined not to make all the same mistakes she’d made with Todd all those years ago. She’d given up all of her independence when she’d moved in with Todd. He made her be totally dependent on him. He wouldn’t allow her to work. She wasn’t allowed to have friends outside of whom he allowed, and she never went out with friends unless he was with her. Now, Robert isn’t anything like that at all. Abigail goes out with the girls at least a couple times a month for girls’ night. Hawk insists that at least one of the guys on the team is at the same bar with them. Whoever’s turn it is to ‘babysit’ the women doesn’t hover or listen in on their conversations. They will hang at the bar, keeping an eye on them from a distance, and making sure they get home in one piece.
Additionally she doesn’t just have friends who are with Robert’s teammates. She’s met and befriended several women through her work at the shelter and Ellie’s preschool. Just last week, she’d gone to a book signing in Wilmington with Jodie and Carrie, ladies she met at a PTA meeting. She knows in her heart that Robert is NOT like Todd, but him keeping this from her hurts. She’d thought they are closer than this, that they have no secrets. Obviously, she’s been wrong which leads her to wonder what else she’s wrong about.
CHAPTERTHIRTY-ONE
“Abigail,” Straw catches her as she paces, taking her in his arms. He knows he’s fucked up. He should have told her, but he didn’t want her to be worrying about something she had no control over. She’s still not looking at him. He can see the wheels turning in her mind. He needs to shut that down before she gets too worked up over all this. Fuck that damn fuckwad, Todd for ruining their special night.
“Abigail!” Straw calls her name a little louder drawing her attention to him. It’s almost as if she didn’t realize he has stopped her pacing and is holding her near him. When their eyes meet, his heart clinches. She’s hurt, scared, and a little pissed.Fuck!He has to fix this.
“Sweetheart,” Straw begins again. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve screwed up. I didn’t tell you when I first found out because I didn’t want you worrying about this. I mistakenly thought we had this under control, and he would never know where you are.” Straw watches her closely for any sign that she understands where he’s coming from, that she will forgive him. “Please, Abi, say something. I’m so sorry. I was only trying to protect you and Ellie.” Abigail sighs, and some of the tension in her posture lessens, but Straw knows she’s still not happy.
“Robert, I understand you thought you were doing the right thing.” She rests her hands on his chest as he looks up at him. “I know how protective you are over us, and I love that about you, but I’m hurt you lied to me.” She holds up a hand when he tries to argue. “It’s a lie of omission, Robert. I thought we are closer than this. I wouldn’t keep something like this from you.” The tears welling up in her eyes is nearly his undoing. He’s hurt her by not trusting her to be able to handle knowing that Todd is no longer locked up.
“Oh, Abi.” Straw closes his eyes as he tries to find the words to explain himself, but then realizes there is no explanation other than he messed up. “You’re right. It is a lie, a breach of your trust. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t be angry. Forgive me.” Holding his breath, he waits for her reply. He’s at her mercy. He knows she loves him and that he loves her. This is a bump in their road, but one that he is willing to grovel to get over if needed. She stares up at him. Her beautiful face in a frown. Her eyes flick back and forth between his searching his heart and soul for the answers she needs. She sighs heavily as if she’s carrying the weight of the world.
“I understand why you did it, but I’m not happy about it,” Abigail replies. “I do forgive you, and eventually I’ll get over being hurt by it. Why did you think I couldn’t handle it? I mean, that’s why you didn’t tell me, right? You said you didn’t want me to worry, but what you meant was you didn’t want me freaking out over it.”
“I didn’t think you would freak out, Abigail,” Straw answers her honestly. She’s still searching his gaze, looking for answers. “I was being selfish, plain and simple.” Abigail narrows her eyebrows into a deeper frown. He sighs; he needs to confess so they can move past this. “I truly didn’t want you to be worried about it this weekend while Ellie was at the Jenkins’ spending the night. I knew the admiral would protect her, keep her safe. I was planning on telling you once Ellie was back at home. I just wanted us to have our private time, planning our future without worrying about the past barging in to take it away, but it didn’t work out that way. Again, I’m sorry.”
“Oh Robert!” Abigail throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close. Thanking the powers that be that he has a good forgiving woman, he relishes in the feel of her in his arms. “I am still pissed,” she mumbles into his chest where she has her face buried. He smiles to himself. That’s his woman. No way will she let him off the hook so easily, but she’s not going to punish him forever over it either.
“I understand, sweetheart,” Straw tells her before kissing the top of her precious head. “I’ll never keep something from you again. That’s a promise.” He looks down at her to see her love radiating out at him. She gives him a watery smile before swiping at her tears. Taking her head in his hands, he wipes her tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispers one last time. She nods, coming up on her tiptoes to kiss him. For once he lets her lead the kiss. It’s soft and gentle, a touching of their lips that morphs into a deeper loving kiss but not heated. It’s a kiss of acceptance, of understanding, and forgiveness. When it ends, he holds her to him and her arms are wrapped tightly around him for a few moments before she pulls away.
“Now,” she begins, and he can hear the determination in her voice. “Give me all the details of what’s happening with Todd and what we are going to do about it.” She looks at him and then to the men standing quietly behind them. Straw has forgotten his teammates are still here. He’s been so caught up in how badly he hurt Abi that he’s completely forgotten them standing there witnessing everything.
“Let’s all go inside instead of standing on the front porch giving the neighbors a show.” Straw motions for the guys to follow them inside. So much for their romantic night with the house to themselves. They all gather in the living room, taking seats on the plush leather couch, matching loveseat, and oversized chair. Abigail takes the food from Hack and puts it in the kitchen. They will wait and eat later, if they still have an appetite. When she returns, Straw pulls her onto his lap. He needs to have her close when they talk this out.
“So, Monday, the admiral calls to let me know that Todd was approved for early release,” Straw begins. “He was granted his release nearly a month ago, and his release date was set for Tuesday this week. The admiral wasn’t informed about any of this until Monday morning. He might not have been informed at all if not for a close friend of his who works at the prison. Todd didn’t want the admiral knowing he was being released.” Straw pauses to give Abigail time to process all this. She’s biting her lower lip as she tries to understand. He needs to get this all out, so he continues. “We, meaning the admiral, myself, Hawk, and Olson met on Monday afternoon to discuss the situation. We decided that Todd would be given a chance to do the right thing, but we would keep an eye on him, just to make sure nothing happened. Ellie’s sleepover was already planned, and I had plans for us so it just seemed like a good idea to not tell you. I know that it was wrong. I knew it at the time, but the admiral was in agreement. He didn’t want you worrying about it either. Hawk told me not to keep it from you, and I should have listened.
“We’ve kept someone on him since he was released. The admiral even went to see him and had, had a talk with him. He’d said that Todd had been respectful and seemed to be in a good place, more like the son he’d known before his mother died. The admiral thought the medications they had prescribed Todd, while he was incarcerated, were helping him. I don’t know what happened tonight that he got past his guard or how he even found out where we live and that we are together, but somehow, he did. Now, things have changed. We will be stepping up security even more. I’m sure the admiral will want to sit down with us to discuss how we move forward.”
Straw has watched Abi the whole time he’s been speaking, looking for clues to what she’s thinking and feeling about all this. A volley of emotions has crossed her face as he’d spoken. Anger, hurt, fear, dismay, but she’s stayed focused and listened without interrupting. Now that he’s finished, he’s worried about her and how she’s going to cope with all this. It tears him up inside to know that she has to deal with this. She should be free from Todd and the hell he caused her. She’s suffered enough. Before Abigail says anything, Straw’s phone begins to ring. He wants to ignore it, but he can’t. It could be something important, so he shifts his hips to pull it from his back pocket. The admiral.
“Ford, here,” Straw answers. “I’m putting you on speaker, sir. We are all in the house.” Straw knows it’s the right thing to do. He won’t keep any more secrets from Abi. No matter how bad whatever it is that the admiral has to tell him, she needs to hear it, and they will deal with the consequences as they come. If there’s one thing he’s learned about Abigail over the last year, it’s that she is tough, brave, and relentless when it comes to caring for those she loves. He never should have doubted her being able the handle Todd’s release.
“Straw, I…” the admiral pauses. “I wish you would hear me out first. I don’t want Abigail being upset any more than she already is by what’s happened. I’m not good at sugar coating things. You can tell her in a kinder way, break it to her gently.” Straw can hear the man’s anguish in his voice. He’s having a hard time dealing with what his son has done.
“Sir, it’s Abigail.” Her voice is firm and clear despite the warring emotions, Straw can see flicker in her eyes. “I appreciate that you, Robert, and all the guys for that matter want to protect me and Ellie from having to deal with this, but we do have to deal with it. Keeping me in the dark, or sugar coating the reality, isn’t going to help me or keep me safe. I haven’t talked to you about this much because I know it’s as upsetting for you as it is for me, but IlivedTodd’s hatred and abuse for years before I left. I may sound naïve to you when I say this, but there isnothingthat man could say or do that would shock or surprise me. I can handle this. Whatever he’s done or trying to do, I can handle it. I’m not the same woman who fled five years ago. I’m not even the same woman you met almost a year ago. I’ve been seeing a therapist to help me cope with everything that happened, and I’ve been going to a support group for survivors of domestic violence. I’m much stronger mentally than I was before, and I was pretty damn strong back then to survive what I did so cut me some slack and just tell us whatever it is you need to tell us.”
