Page 91 of Santa Daddies
I suppose we were all visual learners as I heard the Littles gasp with understanding and the Bigs chuckle with the same.
“You’re talking about paddles, aren’t you?” I ventured.
“Ding, ding, ding! We’ve got a winner!” Henry said, then chortled.
I rolled my eyes. “Hysterical. But seriously, you’re suggesting our tagline should be what? Paddle-a-Piggie?”
“Exactly! It’s perfect. Daddies, Mommies, Doms and Dommes all love to do one specific thing and that’s wield a paddle. I bet with that tagline, they’ll not only be excited, they’d line up by the hundreds. I bet they’d be tossing cash at us faster than we can stuff it into piggy banks. We’ll sell out in an hour. In fact, we might want to consider purchasing more pig?—”
“No!” I shouted as the vision of Dan returning with another million boxes for me to have to house flashed before my eyes. It took me a second to see that my outburst had shocked Henry into silence.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell, but nope! If we sell the pigs we have, I’ll be a very happy elf. I don’t think we need to purchase more.”
“She’s right,” Jenna said, always having my back. “Besides, think about it. Waving that tagline around would be like waving a giant lollipop in front of a crowd of Littles. Picture the chaos. Do you want to be in the middle of a crowd of Littles trying to grab that lolli and pop it into their mouth? I know I don’t.”
“And if that’s not visual enough for you, how about this. Do you want to be the closest Little standing around when suddenly every single Big at Gem has a paddle in their hand?” Dawn asked.
“Well, when you put it that way, I don’t guess it’s the best tagline ever.”
“How about we proclaim that all ‘P’ words having to do with paddles, punishment, or preparing to provide penance are to be tossed in the nearest porker’s porridge pail?” I asked, causing even Henry to groan and then laugh.
“Agreed,” Henry said, accepting defeat rather gracefully after all the effort he’d put into his contribution.
“So, we’re back to square one,” Emma sighed, dramatically flopping backward onto the floor.
“Pick-A-Piggie.”
All heads turned toward Aunt Tildy to see her stylus moving across her tablet. Turning it, she said, “What do you think, sweetie?”
Dawn smiled. “I think it’s just perfect, Mommy!”
I had to agree, especially seeing the cute curly tails she’d drawn to dot the “I’s”. “People get to pick the pig they wish to purchase. It’s possibly the most perfect promo possible!” I declared, purposefully popping the “P” in each word.
“Good grief, I think we’ve created a monster,” Daddy said.
“I prefer precious princess, if you please, Papa,” I said, batting my eyelashes.
“Those in favor, say oink!” Henry instructed.
Instead of crickets, the room was filled with the sounds of Littles oinking, snorting, and giggling only to oink again.
“I think the vote is unanimous,” Leo proclaimed. “What do you think, Austin?”
I’d never been so proud of my Daddy when he gave the loudest oink of them all.
It took another few minutes, but when relative sanity was reached, the meeting continued.
“And, after expenses, all the proceeds from this pig sale will go toward buying toys for the foster children in our city,” Uncle Phillip added.
“Yes,” I said at the same time Daddy said, “No.”
“No? What do you mean, Daddy? I thought we’d all agreed…”
“We did, but I’m changing the agreement.”
While I threw up my hands in exasperation, he only held up one hand, but it was effective. “Sorry, Daddy, but really?”
“Hold on. I just mean that I want to cover the cost of the pigs myself so that all the proceeds can go toward the kids. You reminded me how blessed I am, and while I might not be able to pass an actual pig to every child, I can help spread the magic of Christmas a bit further.”
