Page 82 of Santa Daddies
“Well, isn’t that just precious,” I crooned. Of course, the fact my eyes rolled while speaking, most likely negated all that syrupy sweetness in which I’d delivered that bunch of piggy poop.
Dan laughed. “Yeah, Celeste thought you’d get a kick out of it. I’ll be sure to tell her she was right on the money.”
“Ha-ha-ha.” I accepted the pink, pig-shaped pen and clicked its snout. I signed my name and, unless I was highly mistaken yet again, sealed my fate. When I attempted to hand back the pen responsible for signing away what I was pretty sure would be my butt’s ability to sit comfortably until at least a decade’s worth of Christmases had come and gone, Dan shook his head.
“Nope, that’s a bonus gift for being such a great customer. Celestial Creations and I thank you and wish you both a Merry Christmas!” Dan reached out to snag the clipboard from my hands, only having to give one extra little tug to have me release my hold. “If you need anything else, just give us an oink.”
“Well, aren’t you the comedian.” I grabbed a cellophane package out of the box I’d opened and slapped it into his hand. “Only nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine to go.”
Dan’s laugh gradually faded away until only silence surrounded us.
You’ve heard silence is golden?
It’s not.
It’s pink.
Like really, really pink.
Ten thousand times pinker than pink.
“I can explain.”
“Can you?”
“Well, no, not really, but you’ve got to believe me. I never intended to order all these. I just wanted to make sure we’d have enough for the big Christmas party.” I looked around the room and groaned. “I promise, I only meant to order a thousand, not ten times that amount.” The sheer number was only now truly hitting me. I clutched my arms around my middle and groaned. “Daddy! What are we going to do?”
He reached out and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. “Hey, it’s going to be fine.”
My face might be squished against his chest, but the huff of disbelief I managed was still quite audible.
Though he was far better at suppressing his laughter than I was, I could feel his chest shaking hard enough he might as well have been laughing over a loudspeaker.
“Here’s what is going to happen. Whileyouare unpacking and finding somewhere to house all your new friends, I’m going to be making a list.”
“A list? Of what? Places to stuff with piggies?”
“Nope, that’s your job, little girl, and before you even think of it, the bedroom is strictly off limits. I do not intend to share my closet, bathroom, dresser, and most especially our bed with any little piggies. Understood?”
I pushed back only far enough to slap my hand over my heart. “Daddy! How can you say that? Lord Pigsley has been in our bed plenty of times. You want to banish him? You’ll break his heart!”
Hmmm, I wondered if any of my friends had ever considered why it was that while Daddies were quick to swat a Little’s behind when they roll their eyes, when a Daddy does it, it’s perfectly acceptable? That was definitely going on the agenda for our next meeting.
“You know I’m not talking about Lord Pigsley. His royal stuffed self is welcome to share our room. However, all his new friends will be boarding somewhere else. And, just to make myself absolutely clear, by boarding, I mean on a very temporary basis. The moment the clock strikes midnight on Christmas Day, there better not be a single curly tail left in this house or I guarantee a Little girl’s tail is going to be a far deeper shade than pink. Any questions?”
That eyebrow rose and my body repeated all that clenching and yet this time, a definite sensation of forty thousand little cloven hooves skittered across my ass.
I hurried to cut him off at the pass. “Just one. Does your family have any history of arthritis?”
Wasn’t it cute when you actually say something that has your Daddy so stupefied he simply stares, or was that look given by Daddies who are wondering if perhaps you’d finally slipped over the edge? Before he could decide for sure, I hurried to qualify my question. “I just mean that I’m concerned for your future. If you swat me ten thousand times, you’ll likely wear out your shoulder socket, not to mention your fingers will get all crampy and might even turn into claws.”
His puzzled expression shifted into one of amusement which wasn’t exactly what I’d been going for. “Even if you break it up, I’m not sure that would be better, for you, of course. If you gave my butt a hundred spanks a day it would take…” Despite trying to do the math, all I kept seeing was a one followed by a whole lot of zeroes. “A really long time. We’ll both be very old and gray by then.”
He laughed. “Hardly. And while I appreciate your concern for my health, it’s unnecessary.”
My butt muscles relaxed but for some odd reason, those skittering hooves were still tickling my ass. Still, it was the Christmas season so who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth? “Oh, Daddy! That’s great! I promise I’ll?—”
“I’m not finished,” he cut my interruption off mid promise. “Despite the evidence all around me, I do believe it was some sort of error. Mistakes happen, but also require correction. And since it wouldn’t be fair to make Celeste swallow the loss, I’m willing to cover for you, but, little girl, you are going to pay me back.”
