Page 234 of Santa Daddies
Was he saying that about her? She gaped at him.
“Not you, baby,” he said hastily. “I would never call you a bastard. Or dense.”
Um. Okay.
“God, I’m fucking this up.” Anson stepped back and sat on the end of the bed.
He looked so tired and worn down that it hurt her heart.
“What I’m saying is I was scared of what I felt for you and I jumped on the first thing I found to push you away. What I should have done is ask you about why you wrote that stuff in your book. I should have fucking communicated like a grown adult instead of reacting like a hurt toddler.”
It wasn’t fully his fault, though. She understood why he’d jumped to the conclusion he had.
“I’m sorry about that. And I want to stop being afraid, because like I said that isn’t the man I want to be. I think you could help me with that because you might be the bravest person I know.”
Alice shook her head. She definitely wasn’t that.
“No? You took a chance on me, let me close to you. That’s brave.”
Not exactly true. She trusted him not to hurt her. Well, in hindsight that might have been the wrong move.
“I want to insist that you come home with me. That you let me treat you the way that I should have from the beginning. Let me show you that I can take care of you properly. But I also know kidnapping you and keeping you locked in my house probably isn’t the best solution.”
That actually made her snort.
Yeah. That definitely wouldn’t be the right choice.
“In case it’s not obvious, the fact that you’re a Little isn’t putting me off at all. That’s what you are, isn’t it? There werehints now that I think about it.” He shook his head. “But I was too fucking involved in my own self-pity to see it.”
Alice didn’t like that he was being so hard on himself. She shuffled forward in her seat and reached a hand out. Then she realized what she was doing and snatched it back. She didn’t want to risk him rejecting her.
But she couldn’t pull it fully back because he grabbed it in his hand, holding it firmly.
“I’ve never been in a relationship with a Little before. But I’ve been around them before, I guess you could say. I used to go to a BDSM club before I really hit the bigtime in my career. And then I was focused completely on my career. I think that’s another reason I was with Jenna. She didn’t require my attention and she wasn’t a sub. If she had been, perhaps I would have lost some of that focus. I don’t know.”
That didn’t surprise her. He definitely had a Dom vibe. But that didn’t mean he wanted to be a Daddy Dom.
And Alice had decided that if she was ever going to give her Little into someone’s care it would be someone who wanted her.
“I know it doesn’t seem like I’d know how to take care of your Little, or you might think I don’t want her. But, baby, I do. And if you give me a chance, I’ll show you.”
He couldn’t just change who he was for her. That wouldn’t work. She knew that.
Anson rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I know you’re probably thinking that I’m just saying words and that I’ll change my mind. Or that I don’t know what I’m getting into. Give me a chance, baby. That’s all I’m asking. One chance. I’ll show you that I mean every word.”
Did she have that in her?
God, she wanted to believe in him, wanted to give him that chance.
“I wish I could make everything better with some words. But I’ve proven I’m not good with those. So all I’ve got are actions. Go to Caldwell’s cabin. But come to my place for Christmas. Spend Christmas with me. Let me work a Christmas miracle. I hope.”
She thought about that.
“Is this all too much to think about while you’re in Little headspace?” he asked.
It was. However, she wasn’t fully in Little headspace anymore. How could she be with all this information coming at her?
“Of course it is, Anson,” he muttered. “You idiot.”
