Who’d lost his ability to play because of his agent. Who had lied and betrayed him.
Right. So she could see why he was guarded and cynical. And she couldn’t really blame him for the way he’d reacted.
It didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less, though.
She knocked once on the door.
Then she heard him sigh again. “Yeah, that’s what I thought you were going to say. God, I’ve been a complete shithead. Believe it or not, I didn’t used to be like this. I was more . . . open and unguarded. Less grouchy.”
That was hard to believe.
“I was never like Joey. He’s always been the better one of us.”
Alice frowned. She liked Joey but she wouldn’t say that he was the better one. She thought they were equally amazing, just in different ways.
“I had a girlfriend at the time. Jenna. I actually thought we would get married. She seemed so perfect for me. She liked people, she was at ease around them, could socialize with anyone. But she could also tell when I’d reached my full and she’d run interference. She’d get me out of any situation which I’d grown tired of. Nothing was ever an issue between us. She had her life, I had mine. I liked that she was independent and not needy.”
Wow. She didn’t sound like Alice.
Sure, Alice liked people and she didn’t mind some socializing. But she was most at ease when she was at home, curled under a blanket and watching a good movie.
And she wasn’t sure she’d describe herself as independent. She was trying, though.
Because leaning on someone else opened you up to being hurt. To being abused.
“When I hurt myself, I figured she’d stick by me. And she did for a start. Came to the hospital each day. And then she was there when I came home. But eventually, she started disappearing for longer amounts of time. The paparazzi would constantly harass her coming in and out of our place. I was sick of all the people trying to get to me, I knew I had to get out of the city. That I needed to go home. I felt trapped in that house. Finally, the tabloids printed some photos of me coming out of rehab, looking like shit because I was exhausted and in pain . . . it was the snapping point. I told her I was moving back here. And she didn’t want to.”
Alice bit her lip.
She could imagine how hard that must have been for him. But she couldn’t help but feel bad for Jenna, too.
“I got it. She was a city girl. And I wasn’t easy. Angry and grouchy, even more than I am now.”
Her eyebrows rose at that. Poor Jenna.
“I told her that she could keep the house. We’d been living there together for a year, but it was in my name. I was ready to hand it over to her along with some alimony. And then my lawyer produced these photos of her . . . and my agent, Tommy. They were in a relationship together. They had been for a while and both of them had been fucking lying to me. So when I turned up at the meeting with her and her lawyer, I dropped that bomb and told her that she was getting nothing. Tommy was already facing a whole lot of charges for the crash, so he was already fucked. Now, it was her turn.”
She took it back. She didn’t feel sorry for that bitch.
How fucking dare she do that to him!
“Part of me wonders if Tommy wanted to get rid of me, you know? To get Jenna to himself. But I was keeping them both in designer clothes and flashy cars, so perhaps not.”
Alice wanted to tell him that she was sorry and that she understood. That their betrayal must have bitten deep and she got why he was untrusting and cautious.
Only those words wouldn’t come.
Christmas bells.
“Jenna must have been worried about what she was going to do for money. Or maybe she’d always planned to take this path. She went to the tabloids and sold her story. Told them how she’d been taking care of me in every way and how I just dumped her. For no reason. Painted me a monster and her the angel. And I didn’t care about that part. But there was information that she gave them that was true and it was fucking personal.”
Oh god.
All right, now she really did understand.
That . . . that bitch!
It was a strong word for her to think but it was the only one that truly fit.