Page 226 of Santa Daddies
“Then maybe you should think about it for a while.” Miles had always been a serious guy. Quiet and contemplative. He never made judgments quickly, always thought things through. And Anson knew he was just trying to look out for him.
“All I do is think,” he told Miles. “I have lots and lots of time to fucking think. And all it’s made me is angrier and moredepressed. You know what made me feel less angry and brought me out of that dark place? What made me feel like there was something bright in my life? Alice.”
Miles stared at him for a long moment. “Then we need to find her.”
Anson let out a deep breath. “I need her, Miles. I’ve fucked this up.”
“You haven’t lost her yet.”
He shot the other man a look. “I will have if she’s gone. She could be fucking anywhere. What if she just kept on driving?”
She better not have. She better be taking breaks and not taking risks or he was going to . . .
What?
Spank her ass? How you going to do that in your state?
Well. A spanking didn’t have to be over his knee. Sure, that was his preferred position. But he could adjust.
Jesus.
Listen to him. He could adjust? When had he ever adjusted for anyone or anything?
Just another way that Alice was changing him. Anson had thought that all change was negative. But change didn’t have to be a bad thing. It could mean that he got a woman with dark hair and sparkling blue eyes.
Eyes that he now realized had some sadness. And that sadness was likely related to some bastard abusing her.
Fuck.
How had he not known that?
Maybe because you didn’t ask her. Perhaps you didn’t make her feel safe enough to confide in you.
“I’m a selfish fucking bastard,” he muttered.
“You’ve been through some shit. You have the right to be selfish.”
“No.” Anson shook his head. “I’ve been so fucking angry at the world because of what happened to me. So fucking furious at Tommy for doing this to me. But that doesn’t mean that bad things aren’t happening to other people. To people I care about.”
“You really think that book is about her personal experience,” Miles said grimly.
“I know it is. It explains so much. Her jumpiness. Her need to grovel and apologize when she did nothing wrong. She nearly had a heart attack when she got my floors dirty. Christ, she looked like she might faint. I should have guessed and I should have been more . . . understanding.”
Amusement filled Miles’ face. “Don’t strain anything.”
“Asshole,” Anson replied without heat. “I can be understanding.”
“You’ve never been understanding in your life,” Miles told him.
He wasn’t wrong.
“How am I going to find her?”
Miles rubbed his forehead. “Look, I can’t help you as the sheriff. But I can help you as a friend. She was in a rental car, right? Do you know where she rented it from?”
“They were state plates. She came from San Diego. She probably flew to Denver and rented a car.”
“So she could head in one of those directions. But did she head to the airport or is she staying somewhere close by?”
