Page 135 of Santa Daddies
“I’m not going to mess with tradition, Bernie. We’re just going to make the tradition less… needy.”
“You’re the boss.” She sighed. For most people that would be a very passive-aggressive response, but not for Bernadette. I knew she meant it. Her and I had many conversations about revamping things around the North Pole and I knew she was on board with my plans. I also knew she knew many of the elves better than I did and she had a lot of reservations, but she trusted me. That’s all I needed.
We entered the list room and I didn’t even bother to ask questions, I went straight to the list and got out my quill.
Usually it took me a moment to find the change, especially if I was annoyed or my heart wasn’t in it. Not this time. I spotted it immediately.
My heart basically stopped beating in my chest. The name staring back at me was none other than Crystal Claus. My wife. The brand-new Mrs. Claus. How had this happened? What trouble could she have possibly gotten into between the time I’d left this morning until now?
Schooling my expression so the elves wouldn’t notice, I pretended to ponder the situation.
“I’ve never seen this before, Sir. The list is saying there is a discrepancy, but I can’t find one. There is no overlap in names. I checked twice.”
“That is odd.” I nodded in agreement, thanking my lucky stars they weren’t seeing what I saw. I was pretty sure Mrs. Claus wasneversupposed to be on the naughty list. And I knew the elves would judge her—hell, both of us—when and if they found out. They couldn’t find out. “Let me try to override it.”
Trying to sound nonchalant, I tucked my quill back into my pocket and went to the control center. I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t even know Mrs. Claus was a part of the list after she was married, let alone that she could end up on the naughty side of it. I manually overrode the system which gave me twenty-four hours to figure out what was going on.
“That will take care of it for now,” I said with a cheerfulness I didn’t feel. “I’ll be back to check on it in the morning unless I’m needed before that.”
I left the list room without waiting for an answer, and without giving anyone the chance to need me for anything else or any sort of pre-Christmas emergency. I had a real emergency on my hands. I needed to get to my office. I needed to talk to my father. I knew that I couldn’t marry my Mrs. Claus if she was on the naughty list, but we were already married. What now?
Most of them smiled and went about their business, but Bernadette followed closely behind me, as she always did. “Santa? Is everything okay?”
I thought about making up something, but the observant elf would probably see right through it anyway. Honesty was the best policy. But I also couldn’t be too honest. “I don’t know, but your list of immediate needs just got trumped. I need to go see my parents. Now.”
“Uh, okay. What should I tell everyone?”
I turned to face her just as we got to my front office where Bernadette worked. “Listen, you all have been doing this a lot longer than me. You’re my trusted workers, trusted advisors. You know these jobs better than anyone and none of these problems are new. Unless something needs my Christmas magic to fix it, then just tell everyone that I give my permission for them to handle their own problems.”
I wasn’t mean or forceful, just matter-of-fact. Santa had been the head of the North Pole for hundreds of years, but the elves had been right there by his side the whole time. They did not need permission to solve problems they knew how to solve. They were completely competent and capable.
“The elves are going to be confused, Santa. That’s not?—”
“Not how we do things in the North Pole. Yes I know, but trust me when I say something important has come up and I need to give it my full attention. There are three days until Christmas. Even if someone makes a mistake, we still have time to fix it. Okay?”
“Okay, Sir. Give my regards to Mama and Papa Claus.”
“I will. I have one thing to do and then I will be leaving and I likely will not return today.”
“Yes, Sir. Don’t worry. I'll take care of everything.”
“I know you will. I’ll say goodbye on my way out.”
I went into my office and closed the door behind me. I wanted to sit down and catch my breath for a minute. My mind was spinning out of control and I needed to get it together before I went to my parents. I didn’t want to worry them more than absolutely necessary.
I fell into my oversized desk chair and huffed out a breath. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Closing my eyes, I focused on my wife. I really couldn’t fathom how we could be dealing with this mess.
Let me in, little elf,I coaxed.
Your little elf is not in right now, please leave a message and she will get back to you next Neverary. Beeeeeep.
If I wasn’t so stressed I would have laughed at her bratty antics.
Ha, Ha. What are you up to?
Isn’t Santa supposed to say Ho Ho?
You’re skating on thin ice, little elf. Why are you blocking me? Are you doing something you’re not supposed to be doing?
