Page 62 of False Start
“My expectations for him have not changed from the moment we started dating. I don’t ask for much.”
“She’s right,” he says, “she’s easy to be around and supportive in every way. I took advantage of her always being there. I took advantage of her being a good wife.”
I snort. I was such a great wife that he went and cheated on me.
“You don’t agree, Zhanna?” Mary asks.
I turn to Bryant. “Do you know how hard it is to hear? That I was a great wife and you cheated anyway? How in the hell am I supposed to trust you won’t do it again if I didn’t do anything to warrant it in the first place?”
“I don’t think many situations warrant cheating,” Mary explains. “To put it frankly, shit just happens sometimes. I know that isn’t the psychological explanation you need or want to make you feel better about what happened. The truth is the only thing that will make you feel better about it is time and working on healing the fractured relationship between the two of you. Bryant has a lot of work ahead of him, but you’re both here. It tells me you still love him, Zhanna. It also tells me Bryant is sincere in his quest to gain your trust again.”
Both things are true–my love and his sincerity. But again, is it enough?
“May we start from the beginning?” Mary asks when I don’t reply. “Tell me how you met and fell in love.”
Bryant does most of the talking as he tells our love story. He starts at the fire at Hale’s Row and brings her up to speed as quickly as he can. He ends on a low note, where he cheated and I lost my shit and went to jail for assault and battery. He doesn’t leave out the fact that we’ve been sleeping together since we split.
“And you’re both in New Orleans now? How did that happen?”
“He orchestrated a trade behind my back to be close to me.”
She blinks for a few seconds. “One could either call the move tenacious or lacking in boundaries.”
“Exactly as I thought,” I agree.
“I can’t win her back if we’re living 2,000 miles apart. I call it intelligence.”
Mary smirks at his remark. “Touché. Well, folks that’s all for us today. Zhanna, are you interested in returning for a single or couples session?”
Bryant squeezes my hand in a silent plea.
“Yes, I’ll try at least one more session.” I don’t know why I agree so quickly, but maybe it’s because I’m feeling nostalgic at the mention of so many good memories.
“Then may I give you homework?”
“Sure. I guess it’s okay,” I say.
“Go do something fun and spontaneous together that doesn’t involve sex. It doesn’t have to be grand or expensive, just fun and spontaneous.”
Bryant pays the woman’s secretary and we meet at our cars in the parking lot.
“Thank you for coming,” he says. “It means a lot to me.”
I don’t know quite what to say in response. “You’re welcome. I think I’m going to head home.”
“Have dinner with me? We both have to eat,” he says hopefully.
I tell myself he’s right, we both have to eat, and it’s why I say, “Okay, but nothing too heavy.”
“We’re already in the Quarter. Why don’t we walk from here and see what we happen upon on our journey?”
“Sounds good.”
We walk in silence for a bit, but not uncomfortably so. I think we’ve known each other too long to ever really be too nervous around one another. But I break the silence when I catch him staring at me out of the side of my eye.
“What is it?” I ask and for some reason, I suddenly feel a little shy under his gaze.
“Nothing. I just… I just… guess I,” he sputters and comes to a stop on the sidewalk before placing a hand on either shoulder and turning me to face him. He searches my eyes, takes another step closer to me, and tucks his hand under my chin. When he lifts my gaze to his, I discover unshed tears there. “Listen, baby.”
