Page 37 of My Brother's Keeper
Zay glanced at me. “What?”
Nigga what do you mean what? Huh? So, it’s ok for you to feel like that, then ask me what the fuck I've been doing? All that shit you said, I’ve been doing the very same thing.I signed as my hand went slamming down.
“Jalen, you—” Zay tried to speak, but I cut his ass off.
Jalen my ass. I don’t get credit for anything. I’m tired just like you. The only difference is I can’t fucking run.
I turned to Mison, who grilled me before looking away. I wanted to say more; I wanted both these niggas to hear my pain, but I couldn’t, and it only pissed me off more. I glanced down at the table, at the whiskey bottle, picked it up, and threw that bitch across the room. Dio pulled me back. “Look, honestly, I’m not the nigga to get in people’s business, but this shit,” he pointed at us. “Zeus went through the same thing with me. He ain’t trying to hear y’all, that nigga got to want to be receptive to what y’all are putting out.”
Mison turned to Dio, “Nigga, who the fuck are you? You don’t know shit about me and my brothers.”
Dio flicked his nose as he stepped closer to Mison. He chuckled as he looked him up and down. “I know everything about you nigga. You might be older, but you’re sure not wiser. Drinking, I did it. Drugs, I did it. Depression, Igotit. Hard head somewhat still there, but I also got an older brother who has gone through the same shit your brothers are going through. Bullet,” he pointed to the side of his head. “Right fucking there, and I was only a sip away from meeting the Devil. You’ve got to want to change yourself. Blaming shit on everybody else isn’t going to work. I get it, you don’t want anybody telling you about the nigga you are and who you’re supposed to be. You're not built for this, my G. You're not, and until you accept anything I said, you will see. Last thing, the next time you try and check me like I’m some bitch, old head and all I’ma beat yo ass.”
In this moment, I looked at Dio completely differently. Now I understood why Chevy had chosen him. Zay shook his head. “Damn shame it takes an outside nigga to tell you all the shit me and Jalen been saying. After the holiday break, I will be living on campus until God sees fit for me to be in the league. I can’t keep watching you kill yourself. I love you, Mison, I do, but this shit. I can’t.”
Mison looked defeated. I knew all the pressure that had been applied to him was coming full force, and he had nowhere to turn.
I wish you could hear how I feel. My heart breaks for you, bro. I’m going to always be here for you, always. Ma would want you to do better, be better. I don’t remember much, but I do know that you did not kill her. You didn’t.I finished.I love you, Mison. I will be at Chev’s if you need me.
With that, Dio, Zay, and I left. My only prayer was that Mison used it to get better and not use it to end his life.
SYMPHONY
“He asked if I talked to you,” Indigo said to me.
The phone fell silent before I decided to speak. “I will talk to him. I want to get some things straight first. Are you staying or going back?” I asked her.
She laughed. “I leave tomorrow. I have a few more months in the program, but I will be back. I’m going to miss your face,” she told me.
Indigo was different; she wasn’t the same girl who had left only months ago. I knew whatever she was doing was for the best, and Bop would appreciate her more for coming back strong. “Don’t forget the information I gave you. Ask for Susan, she will help you with anything you need. I hope he’s worth it.”
That’s what I had been contemplating this entire time: was Mison worth the fight? My mind was screaming hell no, but my heart thumped yes. “I won’t forget. Have you talked to Tania?” I asked her.
She let out a sigh. “Here and there briefly. She should be back soon, and I hope she doesn’t give Bleek a hard time. Hope is getting so big. Anyway, Bishop is calling me to come upstairs. I will talk to you later. Love you, girl.”
“Y’all nasty asses. Love you more. I’m proud of you,” I told her honestly.
I hung up with her, tossed my phone in my bag, and got out of the car. I made my way toward the door. I rang the doorbell. When Mison answered, his face was bruised and he looked like he hadn’t slept all night. I reached out to his face, but he moved his head like he didn’t want me to touch him. “I’m good, what’s up?”
“Don’t do that. I should be the one upset, but I’m here. You don’t get to be mad,” I snapped.
I didn’t give him time to let me in because I pushed past him. As soon as he closed the door, I started. “Look, I know you abuse the bottle. I’ve known since our first date. I thought I could look past it because I like you,” I paused. “A lot. Since high school,” muttered
“Wait, you like me?”
My eyes rose to him. “Yes,” Is said barely above a whisper. “But I cannot be with a man who cannot help himself. I want to be there for you. I want to help you, so I got this information from my—”
He shook his head, then held his hand out. “Symph, stop.”
“But Mi—”
“Symphony!”he yelled. “I’m not going to rehab. I’m going cold turkey.”
“But I’ve read that if you’ve been drinking for a long time and try to do that without help, it can be bad,” my lips trembled.
I knew I was in deep because the thought of not having him around was something I couldn’t accept. I started freaking out and panicking. “Sss-so what am I supposed to do?” I started to cry. “Watch you die?”
He pulled me in for a hug. His kiss on my head broke me. “No, just be here for me. It’s going to be a lot, but as long as you’re with me, I should be fine. I want to try not just for myself but for my brothers, my crew, and you. The girl who has everything, but love,” he whispered.
