Page 45 of My Brother's Keeper
I wanted to stop by Bishop’s since I hadn’t talked to him in weeks. I knew I couldn’t hold Kareem over his head for too long because his intentions were pure. Whether he got Kareem out or not, the damage had already been done.
When I arrived at his house, I laughed because this nigga skipped Thanksgiving and went straight to Christmas, as his decorations were perfect. Bishop had always been on pointbecause the decorations matched his energy. I parked my car, got out, and headed to the door. The sound of London’s bark greeted me as it always has. When the door opened, Keith stood there with a big smile, “Sup, Symph.”
“Hey, where is Bop?” I said dryly.
He pointed behind him, “In his office, smoking.”
London pawed at my leg. “Of course, we can’t forget the princess of the house. Lulu,” I cooed.
London wore a holiday sweatshirt with Santa printed all over it, adorned with her diamond collar. She was the most spoiled dog I've ever met. Before heading toward Bop’s office, I turned to Keith. “Have you seen your brother?”
He ran his hand over his waves. “Yeah, but not like I want to with school and all. Bishop told me what happened, and for real, Symphony, I’m sorry.”
I gave him a weak smile. “It’s ok.”
With Keith saying what he said to me, a person would think it would have smoothed things over, but all it did was make me angrier. Here he was living his best life, about to enjoy each and every fucking holiday with his newfound family, and my family was torn apart because of his brother.
I walked over to Bop’s office and, without knocking, I stepped inside and slammed the door behind me. When he glanced at me, he knew I was upset. The thought of reaching over the desk and slapping his ass crossed my mind. “You fucking betrayed me. You are supposed to be my best fucking friend, and you go get that nigga out of jail?!” I screamed.
I knew Keith was innocent in all this and maybe these were things he didn’t need to hear, but in this moment, I didn’t give a fuck. “Bop if I say I don’t hate you right now, I would be lying. At first, I thought I was going to be able to say I forgive you and that I could move past it, but I can’t.”
I could see the hurt in his eyes. “Symph, I can say I’m sorry a million times, and I know it wouldn’t matter to you, but I am. I know I fucked up, and I know that doesn’t change what happened. I—”
I pointed at him, “You can save your apologies because I don’t care. Just know the shit hurts. Know that I have moved mountains for you, or did you forget when you were chasing Indigo? All while my best friend would later turn around and do some shit like this. You’re not loyal to the crew; you only thought about yourself. So, remember this, while you’re enjoying your holidays, I won’t because my family is forever damaged!” I pointed at the box on the table. “I hope she fucking says no!” I shouted before I stormed out the door to see Keith standing there.
His sad eyes captured my angry ones before I brushed past him and out the door. It hurt me to turn my back on Bop, but it hurt even more to know he wasn’t loyal to me. I didn’t know if we would ever be friends again after this and it was something I knew I would have to get over. Seven to Da Cove was now one less person.
MALI
Symphony told me she would be out for a while, so I decided to take some time to do something I had been avoiding. Today, I felt much better. I still had the urge, but knowing I was on the right path outweighed that. When I pulled up to the building, I let out a sharp breath, trying to convince myself that what I was doing was right. My purpose in doing this was for the good. As I stepped inside, I coached myself, accountability, awareness, acceptance.
When I walked into the room, the people were already gathered, sitting in a circle. Everyone’s head turned to look at me. “Welcome, the power is in your hands.” The man smiled. “The first step is taking accountability.”
I slowly nodded as I walked closer and sat down next to a woman who reeked of liquor. She looked as if she hadn’t slept in days. The shit was all too familiar. It made me feel uneasy and embarrassed because I knew I had probably looked the same way to others at some point. “Today is the first day of a new life, a new beginning, a new you. Now, if I sat here and said that the road you're on will be easy, I would be a liar, but what I can tell you is that with steps, patience, and conversations, this journey can be easier.”
I could see people nodding their heads while others couldn’t care less what the hell he was talking about. However, I was all ears.
“Let’s start by channeling your past. Fight those demons that have a grip on you so that they can be released and set you free.”
I swallowed deeply as I thought about my past. I knew this was all new to me, and I was determined to get my conscience cleared.
***
I stared at the rundown projects reflecting on our time here. Jalen couldn’t have been any older than three or four when my father decided to pick us up and move. I laughed as my vision of what I thought was the best place in the world filled my head. I scanned the area, watching people move around until I spotted him. He was sitting on a crate in front of a boarded-up door. I watched as he tilted his head back, sucking down whatever was left in that bottle hidden by the brown paper bag.
The way his head shook as he enjoyed the bitter taste of what he considered love. I knew what that felt like, and to even be here in the presence of it all was hard. However, I needed this moment, not just for me, but for my brothers. I knew my father was down here, and at some point, I was going to mention it to my brothers, but I wanted to protect them from everything that he was. The little they got to experience was enough because, although they didn’t have to deal with him any longer, they were still dealing with him through me.
My feet felt heavy as I started to make my way toward him. I wanted to do what the sponsor said, face my past, but the closer I got, the more I realized he wasn’t worth it. I knew that no matter what type of conversation we had, the fact remained that he would never change. This couldn’t be my future, and I refused to let it be.
When he glanced up at me, I froze. I could see him squinting, trying to figure out who I was, and I quickly turned and hurried back toward the car. “Mison!” I heard him call out.
I ignored him as I hopped in the car and took off. The entire ride home, I thought about what was to come of all this. I wasn’tsure what God had planned, but I was listening. I made a quick stop to pick up flowers for Symphony. I wanted to thank her for rocking it out with a nigga, and although I had a long way to go, having her around meant a lot to me.
When I got home, I saw her car in the driveway. Since my brothers hadn’t been around, I had given her a key so she could come and go as she pleased, so I knew she was in the house. When I entered the house, Symphony was sitting on the couch with a gift box on her lap. “Hey, baby,” I said to her.
She didn’t really smile. “Hey,” she whispered.
I walked over and sat next to her. “I promise I did not drink. A nigga swears.”
