Page 32 of My Brother's Keeper
She’s cool. You should do the audition. I agree.
Maybe.
No, you should. Let me take you out, and we can talk about it.
I nodded.Can we do a date at my place? I’m tired.
He glanced around.Whatever you want, mama. I want to be around you.He signed as he walked around me, laughing.
Jalen was different, and I liked everything about him. He wasn’t the type of guy my parents wanted me to be with, but he was who I wanted to be with. I knew dealing with him would be like playing with fire, but for the first time, I wanted to take the risk. I only hoped I didn’t get burned.
I waited in the living room while Alyse showered. The goal was to take her somewhere nice, to show her off and show her how proud I was of her. After meeting her father, I knew she was probably under a lot of pressure. She said she wanted to stay in, so I ordered food and waited for it to arrive. I stood from the couch and walked over to the family photo she had sitting on the stand that held girly candles and other light-pink shit.
I picked up the picture frame and stared at it. They stood in front of a black backdrop, all dressed in blue, Mom to the right, Dad to the left. Alyse stood in the middle, and the trio in front of her. They looked like the perfect family. They looked like they took summer trips and winter ski trips. Alyse was far beyond my caliber, and for a moment, I felt inadequate.
After placing the picture down, I heard her clear her throat. “Are you ok?”
I gathered my thoughts before turning around. “I-I-I—”
“Slow down,” she whispered.
“I-I’m g-good.”
She nodded while smiling. Alyse’s wet hair fell down her back as she wore a sports bra and tiny ass shorts to match. I could smell the flower perfume she sprayed from where I stood. I couldn’t lie, she looked good. She walked over to me and grabbed my hands. “Relax, it’s me and you remember.”
She went to walk toward the couch, but I pulled her back and wrapped my arms around her waist, allowing my hand to ease down, gripping her ass in my hand slowly. “I lu-lu-like you, a-ah-Alyse,” I manage to get out.
“I like you too, Jalen. I need to tell you something, though.”
Not letting her go, my head moved back a little. “Wh-wh-what?”
Her eyes shied away, then slowly looked at me. “I’m,” she paused. “I’m a virgin.”
Now it made sense why she did what she did when I was over the last time. I wasn’t around her to smash. I actually liked her. She was the only female I came across who I felt understood me. She was nothing like the other girls, and her being a virgin wasn’t going to scare me off. When I was around Alyse, I had a voice, I felt normal, and I didn’t have to think about my brothers.
She pulled away and started signing.How does that make you feel?
I walked over and sat on the couch, patting my lap for her to come and sit. She slowly walked over and straddled my lap.
It doesn’t make me feel any way. I like you. Not because of what I think I can get from you, I like you because you make me feel normal, you make me smile, you make a nigga want to ride three hours every day just to see your face. Soo...I paused.Fucking you isn’t essential. I meant what I said when I said whenever you're ready.
Her mood changed as her eyes lowered. Her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth.I’m ready.
I dropped my head and brought it up slowly.You don’t have to do something because you think that’s what I want.
I want to. Just promise you will be easy on me.
I pulled at the brim of my hat as I leaned back and gazed at her.
A nigga promise.
MALI
I had been calling Symphony all night. The fact that she really blew a nigga off was bothering me. I scrolled through my phone, staring at her picture as I pulled the whiskey bottle from my lips. I exited my photos and dialed her number again; this time, it went straight to voicemail.Did she ghost me? Had she only wanted sex and thrown a nigga to the side? Or was I the delusional nigga that thought we had something?
I shot up from the couch, taking another swig of my liquid lover. I staggered upstairs to my room and started to rummage through my drawers. I picked up the one thing that had been taunting me for years and placed it in my pocket.
Another swig.
