Page 10 of Thanksgiving Daddy's Girl
“Working on it.”
Under the table, I slide my foot up his leg. Myles stiffens. Thankfully, he’s not drinking again. Choking twice might be harder to explain. But he does shoot me a dark look when my father isn’t looking. It’s all I can do to keep from laughing. He may think it’s wrong for us to be together, but I don’t. There isnothing wrong with it. We’re two consenting adults. I am free to make my choices about who I sleep with. About whom I want to be with. And I’ve wanted to both sleep with and be with Myles for a long time.
So, I’ve decided that I’m not going to make this easy on him. I’m not going to let him walk away from this because he’s scared. My dad is a lot easier going than Myles thinks and I know that he ultimately wants me to be happy. Yeah, I guess, he might think it’s a little weird at first. But as long as Myles treated me right and made me happy, I know my dad would be cool with it. He just wants me to be with somebody who treats me like a princess. And I know Myles would.
I have never wanted somebody the way I want him. Being with him in the pool today ignited a fire inside of me I didn’t even know existed. But now it’s been lit and it’s burning out of control inside of me.
“So, did you guys figure out the menu for Thanksgiving?” my dad asks.
“We’re still talking about it,” I reply. “I spent a little time today trying to dig up Mom’s old recipe book. If we’re going to honor her, we should do it right. Right?”
My father’s smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and I can still see the pain in his face. But he nods gamely, seeming to be doing his best for me.
“Absolutely,” he says. “We should absolutely do it up right. The way she used to.”
“She’ll be happy that we’re doing this,” I say.
“I know. I know she will,” he replies with a small nod. “And I know it’s been five years, but it still feels like it was only yesterday.”
I reach across the table and take his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I feel that way too. But I still feel like she’s with us. And I feel like she wants us to live. She wants you to live. It would break her heart to know you’ve shut yourself away?—”
“I haven’t.”
“You haven’t been on a date in five years, Dad,” I say. “You’re still a great catch. There are women out there who’d fall all over themselves to go out with you.”
His lips tighten and he looks down, and I can tell he doesn’t want to have that discussion right now and I don’t want to pressure him. I keep telling myself he’ll date again when he’s ready. But sometimes I worry he’ll never be ready.
“Anyway,” I say. “I’ll find the recipe book and put together a grocery list.”
“That sounds good,” he says. “Excuse me for a minute.”
He gets up from the table and disappears, heading in the direction of the bathroom leaving me alone with Myles. Once my father is gone, he turns to me.
“What are you doing?” he hisses.
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Your foot was in my crotch.”
“Oh, is that where it went? My bad.”
“Maeve, we talked about this?—”
“No, you talked about it,” I hiss. “I want to be with you, Myles.”
“You know why we can’t.”
“I don’t accept that. I’m a grown ass woman and I can make my own decisions,” I tell him. “And I know you felt exactly what I did. I could see it in your eyes, Myles. You can say otherwise now, but when we were together in the pool, I fucking saw it.”
He fell silent and looked away, telling me I’d made my point. That I was right. The moment lingered in the air between us like a thundercloud and as the silence stretched on, the more frustrated with him I got. I turn away and speak to the open room.
“Maybe you’re not the man I thought you were.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Are you running from me because you’re scared?” I ask, turning to face him. “I thought you were braver and stronger than that. I guess I was wrong.”
Before he had a chance to answer, I got up from the table and threw my napkin down then turned and stormed out of the room. And with each step I took, I felt my heart breaking just a little bit more.
