Page 125 of We Are Yours

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Making me become the person I hated, the one I never wanted to be to begin with, but the world had turned me that way. In its cruelty, there was beauty in the form of the Knightly brothers.

I hauled ass up those stairs to Julius's bedroom, feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn’t let them see me like this, not when they had warned me. Not when I didn’t listen.

I was too stubborn.

Too hopeful.

Too much of an idiot.

I tried.

I begged.

I prayed.

When I looked into her eyes, I believed everything she said to me. She was so convincing, so natural, so easy to be around.

“You’re my girl now.”

It repeated endlessly, echoing in itself.

My wants.

Needs.

Expectations.

This future I thought we’d have wasn’t at arm’s length any longer. It was now miles upon miles away. Every time I thought we were close, we were almost there, an issue would arise, and we’d find ourselves on opposite sides of the fence, still looking toward a future we might never have.

Farther and farther, it flew out of our paths.

More confusion.

More questions and no answers.

Waiting.

Everything was intertwined, pushing and pulling in a game of tug-of-war.

I lay there on Julius’s bed with my eyes closed in a trance.

Stunned.

Angry.

Guilty.

It was as though I was having an out-of-body experience. I was there, but I wasn’t. I wanted to open my eyes, but I was afraid of what I’d see.

What I’d feel.

When I was already feeling everything.

Mistakes.

Regrets.

Memories we could never change.

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