Page 66 of Girl, Undone
Ella squeezed Derek’s wrist and probed for a vein in his forearm.She traced the needle up and down, ready to strike, but then Derek’s entire body jerked against the metal table.
‘Keep breathing, Derek.I’ve got you.Stay still.’
Finally, her fingers felt the telltale sign — the subtle, raised pathway of a vein.Ella positioned the needle, held her breath, and aimed for the vein, but her hands trembled too much for accuracy.She could see those images from yesteryear as vivid as anything, but she banished them to the back of her brain and held her hand still.She tracked the vein, pierced the skin, and pushed in three, four, five millimeters deep.She wasn't sure what it was supposed to be.She'd crossed a threshold that left no room for turning back, and she depressed the plunger, sending a portion of the clear liquid into Derek's bloodstream.
Then, the unsettling response came.Derek's body twitched and spasmed.A moan escaped his lips and sent a wave of dread crashing over Ella.
The sight of foam once again forming at the corners of Derek's mouth was like a dagger to the heart.Torturous thoughts emerged – had she exacerbated his condition?Was the liquid in the syringe not an antidote, but a further poison or an accelerant to the one already in his system?
‘Derek, can you talk to me?’She gave his cheek a firm tap.‘Give me a sign, anything.’
Derek's eyelids flickered, and a weak grunt escaped his lips.It was a small response, but it was proof he was still here.It meant Derek was still holding on to the fragile thread of life.
‘Stay awake.I'm going to give you another dose.Just hold on.’
But Derek, his strength ebbing like the last light of day, mustered the energy to shake his head weakly.His incessant twitching stopped.Ella still held him by the wrist, praying that the medicine had worked its magic.
‘It’s over,’ Derek mumbled.
A simple declaration.
Ella's heart clenched at his words, recognizing in them the universal, unspoken language of defeat.It was the tone, the look she had seen before — the same resignation she had witnessed in the eyes of those who had lost the will to fight against their inevitable fate.
‘Derek, no!’Ella shouted.‘Medics will be here soon.The morphine will take effect.You’re going to live.Don’t give up on me.’
‘Let me go.’
But Ella grasped Derek by the shoulders, as if her physical touch could anchor him to life.
‘Stay with me, Derek!You have to stay alive!’she screamed.She prepared another dose of morphine, searching again for the same vein she’d just stabbed.With less accuracy than the first, Ella deposited the morphine into Derek’s system, but this time, there was no response to the penetration of flesh.
‘Find him,’ Derek rasped.
‘Who?Who did this?’
Derek’s eyes opened and closed in rapid movements.‘Group… name...don’t know.’
‘The group?Someone from the group?’
Derek’s eyes fluttered – the last ditch effort of a man tethered to the world of living.
‘Yes….the man…nic.’
‘Manic?Nick?’
And then Derek went limp.His eyes closed, and one final breath escaped from his nose.
‘Derek, come back!Please, come back!’She clutched his shoulders with both hands, her gentle shakes turning furious.Each shake was a plea for Derek to defy the impossible.
But Derek remained still.
The floodgates of her emotions burst open.
Ella dropped the syringe to the ground and searched for a pulse, a heartbeat, a sign that Derek still had one foot in the real world.
But she found only silence where there should have been life.
Ella whispered into the void – a futile plea to a man who could no longer hear.
