Page 30 of Girl, Undone
Ella remembered Ripley’s suggestion of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.‘Tom had a drinking problem?’
'Tom had a lot of problems.Drinking was just one of them.We didn't talk about it.Every time I brought it up, we'd fight.Eventually, I stopped trying.It was easier to just let it be.'
Ella understood that logic.Dysfunction had a way of becoming routine if you lived with it long enough.'Did he have a regular place he went?A bar, a friend's house?'
'I don't know.Like I said, he didn't tell me.And I didn't ask.Our marriage wasn't great, and I'm not going to pretend it was.'
'I'm not here to judge.I'm just trying to understand Tom's life.His routine.Who he spent time with.'
Miranda seemed to withdraw further into herself.‘His life was simple, at least on the surface.He worked, came home, spent time with our daughter.On weekends, he'd do yard work, watch sports.That's all there seemed to be.’
Ella noted the mechanical way Miranda described Tom's life.It was as if she were reciting a well-rehearsed script, but one that omitted the nuances of their real life together.‘What about friends, colleagues?Did he socialize much?’
‘Not really.Tom was private.Kept to himself.Occasionally, he'd meet a colleague for lunch, but he rarely brought anyone home.As for friends...I'm not sure he had many.He was a loner in many ways.’
The picture forming in Ella's mind was familiar: a man living two lives, one visible and mundane, the other hidden.Julia Dawson had been the same way.It was this duality that intrigued Ella, the juxtaposition of the ordinary and the unknown.
But Ella was sure of one thing: Tom hadn’t been out drinking the previous night.
As Ella pondered this duality, she gently probed further, ‘Did Tom have any habits or hobbies at home that stood out?Anything he did regularly?’
Tears began to well in Miranda’s eyes.She gripped her thighs with both hands and began to shake.Ella recognized it as the body moving past the shock and arriving at its new reality, a reality that the mind didn’t want to accept.
‘Miranda, are you okay?’
The widow was suddenly choked by the sobs that had surfaced.‘I...I'm sorry.It's just...it's hitting me now.He's gone and he’s not coming back.’
Ella gave her a moment.Let the tears come.Grief had its own timeline.
'He was my husband,' Miranda said through the crying.'We had problems, sure, but he was still…’
‘I know this is incredibly hard,’ Ella said.‘Take your time.I'm here to listen, not just as a detective, but as someone who understands loss.’
Miranda wiped her face with the sleeve of her robe and took a shaky breath.'Tom didn't really have hobbies.He worked, spent time with our daughter.That was about it.His job consumed him.I think he used it as an escape.'
Ella watched her carefully.There was something Miranda wasn't saying.A lingering thought was hanging there, and her lips were fighting to keep it sealed.'Was there anything else?Any small thing he did regularly that stood out?'
Miranda clutched her hands together in prayer, then quickly broke them again.Ella could feel the agitation building, the urge to speak.'Uh… I don't…'
'Mrs.Barker, your husband was murdered.He's the second victim in two days.If there's something that could help us find whoever did this, I need to know.'
Miranda stared at her hands.'Tom didn't sleep well.Insomnia, I guess.When he couldn't sleep, he'd get up and go to his office.'
Ella felt something significant was on the horizon.‘What did he do in there?’
‘He'd spend hours in there, just...drawing.I'd catch him sometimes, hunched over his sketchbook.But he never showed me what he was drawing.He was very secretive about it.’
‘Drawing?’
‘Yes.He wasn’t a good artist,’ Miranda sniffed, ‘but he didn’t let that stop him.’
A sketchbook.Private, hidden.The kind of thing that might reveal what someone was thinking when they couldn't say it out loud.‘Could I see this sketchbook?’she asked.
‘I don’t know where it is.Tom kept it hidden.Curiosity got the better of me a few times and I searched for it, but… never found it.’
Ella wasn’t the most grandiose person in the world, but she fully believed that if it existed, she could track it down.‘Understood.Could I take a look anyway?’
***
