Page 40 of Orange Town
“I will register her so they don’t take her for medical purposes.”
“We can register her as ahyatfor the tribe.”
I turned to Roqs. My friend, lover, is willing to take this risk forher. This is one of those things we fight about. He sticks to the rules. He has a long list of rules in his brain. About what is right and what is wrong. It’s a very comprehensive list. He never runs out of rules.
Now why would he suggest Brin be ahyatwhen clearly she doesn’t know how to heal people? But being a hyat will protect her. Give her immunity from being taken as an iron blood donor.
Roqs half laughed. “Don’t look at me like that, lover. I take exception to her. You covet her like a thing to an outsider. But I feel, and you know that youneedher. On a visceral level, yes. But it feels more. And you can’t explain it. I also don’t have an explanation.”
Yet I can see in his eyes he knows what it is bugging me about Brin.
I felt movement inside the room. “I think it’s time to feed her.”
Roqs’ lips curved with a smile but his eyes are somewhat sad. We cannot help what we feel. We knew this day would come when we finally realized we are not mates. Like what the elders in our tribe told us. What our friends told us. What mated manasties told us.
They all said they knew when we were mated with someone. You are blind until it hits your head like amusat.
Chapter Twelve
Zirc
Brin fell asleep again after she took a bath and ate some soup. I’m surprised she liked the yangzy soup. I decided not to tell her what the meat was. She will not like the answer.
She was not talkative this morning so Roqs and I decided to go out. But I made sure to booby trap all the ins and out of the room. Just in case. We needed a safe place to discuss our next steps and what happened. We moved to the pavement but I can still see the balcony going to Brin’s room. I can leap there in two seconds flat if anything happens.
How to tell Roqs what happened when I myself do not know what just happened? I spent more than a week struggling against myself. On one hand, I want to get rid of her so that everything gets back to normal. And the other.
The other thing that kept creeping to my mind is I want her back. I want to see her always. By my side.
I glanced at Roqs who was staring at me while I paced.
Roqs. Brin. I want them both with me.
“How do you feel about Brin?,” I asked Roqs. My beast is hopeful but the Manasty in me knows what his answer will be. I already know it.
I saw my lover shrugged. He was always the polite one.
“Be honest,” I wanted to explain but it came out as a warning. Damn it.
Now Roqs is silently contemplating me. We can always read each other. I paused and looked at him.
“I think I know what you’re asking Zirc. With Brynn, I always feel the same way I feel about other females I mate with.”
“Don’t use the mate lightly,” I chastised him again.
He held up both hands as if to ward me. I sighed internally. This is going to be a long discussion. I started to pace again.
“We talked about this lover. I always say mate in the hopes we get to be mates. Or the female I mate with can be The One. You know my belief. If I start to say it and claim it, it will happen.”
I bit my tongue as Roqs continued to rant about his belief on this “law of attraction” which I told him is complete bullshit. We had this discussion before over and over to the point where we came to blows. Him saying it’s a done deal doesn’t make it real. That saying it will attract the forces of nature to make it real. That we can once again mate with a female and have young ones naturally. Without the aid of machines. Without the High Council controlling us.
The universe will find a way. His belief led him to overtake the elders in our tribe. Win battles and score against our enemies. Everything. Except being mated to me.
We feel we are mates. But when we mate with a female, it just doesn’t happen. That spark and tie of bonds between a Manasty and our inner beasts. Our inner beasts are always fond of each other. But they know we are not mated which frustrates us.
However, there are other manasties who got mated years or decades later and have known each other since childhood. But not many. In fact, many manasties die without being mated. The day has not yet come when I wish that I don’t get mated because my beast finally settled with another manasty who is not Roqs.
If there is one thing we agree on, he and I want to find our mates. Even if we don’t end up with each other. We promised our parents.
