Page 42 of Dark Bratva Christmas
“How did you even get that in here?” Catarina squeaks, her voice barely audible as she turns to me.
“I know you don't want to talk about it, but I am sorry I ruined the Christmas market thing,” I grunt, stepping closer to her and placing a hand on her lower back. She doesn't back away from me this time. “So here’s a tree for you to decorate as you please.”
Catarina ponders what I've said for a moment and just nods her head, turning around and looking at the boxes and bags filled with Christmas decorations spread throughout the living room.
“Did you buy all of this, too?” she asks, pointing to everything I picked out.
“I didn't know what you would want.” I clear my throat, thinking I might have gone a little overboard with easily five thousand dollars' worth of bulbs and Christmas lights. But whatever. I also murdered my driver, too.
It is what it is.
Catarina seems to be fine with my answer suddenly, and starts going through the bags. She starts categorizing everything and looking at the tree, as if she’s coming up with some grand plan…
All for a tree.
“So…” I can’t help myself. “Did you guys have a big tree growing up?” I ask, reaching out to help her open a box of silver bulbs.
She purses her lips. “It was huge. That's one of the only traditions we really had. My dad would send someone out every year to scour Christmas tree farms looking for the biggest tree they could possibly find.” She pauses and stares at me with a slight smile on her lips, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. “He would let me stay up all night decorating the tree. But then again, that's because I was the only one doing it. It was the only thing he ever let me be hands on for.”
I nod, watching her. “So…your mom didn't help you?”
Catarina quiets, staring at a dangling snowflake ornament in her hand as she fidgets with it. “Um…” She pauses, getting lost in the snowflake. “She died during childbirth. I was my dad's first and only child. But you know that part.”
“Yeah, but I’m sorry,” I say, instinctively reaching a hand out to rest it on her knee. I squeeze it and Catarina rests a hand on top of mine for a moment before turning her attention back to the ornaments.
“What was Christmas like for you?” Catarina flips her hair over her shoulder. “I already know some stuff from what Mikhail said, but I imagine you had a much different experience. You were a lot older.”
I nod my head in agreement. “We didn't really celebrate much before Mikhail was born. I'm almost ten years older than him, and the holiday was pretty dead for me. The first Christmas tree I remember being put up wasMikhail'sfirst Christmas tree. My mom and dad did all of the cliche baby's first Christmas ornaments and they even tried to get him to open the presents himself.” I pause and laugh at the idea of it. “He got a paper cut. But you know, I was the kid born too soon.”
“That’s… That’s sad.” Catarina frowns, tilting her head at me. “That might be worse than mine.”
I shrug. “When I left home, I stopped celebrating. I went back for Christmas dinners just because Mikhail wanted me to,” I continue, turning my attention to the giant tree in the corner of the room. “This is the first Christmas tree I've had since I left home when I was eighteen years old.”
Catarina stares at the tree, too, and nods her head. “At least it won't be the last.”
I look at her with my eyebrows raised and she smiles. “I don't know if you can tell, but I love Christmas. Our child is going to grow up believing in Santa Claus until they're eighteen years old. The baby”—she places her hand on her stomach—“will experience the Christmas I always wanted.” She looks back at me with tears in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips.
I realizethismight be the most vulnerable I have ever seen Catarina…
And it does something to me.
Chapter thirteen
Catarina
Something is off with him.I gaze over to Matysh, who’s pacing the floor in the foyer while I sit in the armchair, my book on my lap, and the Christmas tree sparkling in the living room. He’s so fucking hot and cold.
It’s been days since the Christmas tree went up. Days since he fucked me. Days since he acknowledged me at all.
And now we’re having afamilydinner.
Wonderful!
This dinner was a last-minute idea. Ithinkit's a large part of why he's stressed out and distant, though I’m not sure why I care at all.
This will be the first timemyfather and Dimitri,hisfather, actually speak in decades. They saw each other at my wedding to Mikhail, but we took great care to make sure they didn’t kill each other. On top of that, it's Matysh and his family's first Christmas without Mikhail.
There's going to be a very delicate balance of emotions today. And I’m not sure where I fall in any of it.
