Page 21 of Spyder
Ruby had encouraged me to pursue something with him if it was what I wanted. She always told me to stop thinking about which clique he belonged to and to stop worrying about what other people thought. Ruby’s advice was always to do what made me happy, damn anybody else’s opinion. It was always great advice. But I was never always able to follow it.
“I should have known by that twinkle in your eye,” she says, her grin widening.
“What? I don’t have a twinkle in my eye.”
“Oh, yes you do, babe. It’s the same twinkle you used to get whenever he’d walk by back in the day.”
“That is so not true,” I scoff.
“Who do you think you’re trying to fool here? I remember those long conversations full of teenage angst well. So, don’t think you can put one over on me,” she teases.
I take a drink of my mimosa to hide the flush creeping into my cheeks. There actually were a lot of long, drawn out, angsty conversations back then that I’d forgotten about. Selective amnesia, apparently. But I tell her about my encounter with him yesterday and share my thoughts about it, and as I do, my mind drifts back to those long-ago days when I never would have dreamed of having a conversation or a flirtation with him in public like that.
“Honestly, looking back at it all now, I have no idea what all the angst was about to begin with,” I say.
“What do you mean?”
“Just that… the things that seemed so important, so life-altering, and monumental… I look back at things now and think about how ridiculous it all seems. The things I did or didn’t do because I feared what my friends would say… it just appalls me now,” I say.
Ruby’s smile is soft. “It’s all part of growing up. I know that I look at the things I thought were so important back then and want to kick my own ass.”
“Maybe. But the thing is, you never let people sway your opinion. You did what you wanted and didn’t care what other people thought. You’ve always had a courage that I lacked. It’s one of the things I’ve always admired about you the most,” I tell her.
“Please. I think you’ve romanticized things in your absence,” she says with a laugh. “I wasn’t all that courageous.”
“You really were. You never let the opinions of our friends stop you from doing what you wanted.”
She shrugs. “That’s not really courage. That’s just not wanting to live my life the way other people tell me to.”
“Well, I consider that courage. Courage I never had.”
“Maybe not back then. But I can see how much you’ve grown and changed over the years, Bell. I mean, look at you… flirting with him? Positively shameless. I’m so proud of you,” she says with a laugh.
Being provocative and flirtatious is definitely not my strong suit. I’ve always been something of a wallflower if I’m being honest. But there was just something about standing there with Derek last night, something in the way he looked at me that made me feel… bold. Daring. It tore down the walls of self-control I usually keep tightly around me and allowed me to be a little more spontaneous than I normally am. It was different for me and I have to say I enjoyed it.
“So, how does he look?” she asks.
“How have you not seen him? You’re both here in town and have been for a while,” I reply.
“It’s not exactly like we’re moving in the same social circles. I hang out with my husband, parents of my students, and other teachers mostly. My scene is pretty damn boring, to be honest. And he never struck me as the boring type back then.”
I laugh. “Touché.”
“So? I want the details.”
His face flashes into my mind, drawing a smile across my lips that I don’t even bother trying to hide. With Ruby, I know that I’m free to be who I am, and she encourages me to be more open with my thoughts and feelings.
“He’s even better-looking now,” I tell her. “I mean, I always thought he was cute and had this whole bad boy thing working, which was kind of hot. But now? Now, he’s like taken it to a whole new level. He’s like off-the-charts hot.”
And it’s true. With his high cheekbones, chiseled face, and smooth, flawless skin, he’s got a bit of that old Hollywood leading man look about him. He’s tall and fit and judging by those taut biceps I saw peeking out of his T-shirt, his body is sculpted with lean muscle. But it’s those intense hazel eyes and the way his gaze seemed to bore straight into my soul that nearly took my breath away.
“Better looking, huh? That’s not hard to believe… he always was gorgeous. And guys just seem to age better than we do,” she says.
“Well, he’s aged like a fine wine, let me tell you. And he’s still got that bad boy aesthetic working. He’s part of some motorcycle club—”
“You’re kidding me. He’s one of the Dark Pharaohs?”
“Yeah, I think that’s what the patch on his vest said. Why? You know them?”
