Page 50 of Bullet
“Well, I’m to blame for that mostly,” I said. “Thanks to my oppressive behavior, the club followed suit, even Nicky. When it came down to going with CJ or staying with us, she picked him because there was nowhere left to go here.”
“It’s unfortunate. Tess was actually a good person,” Avery said.
“I’ve been working from her notes from when she was VP, she’s damn smart.” I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling bad. “I wish things hadn’t happened the way they did. She should have had a chance here. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
“Hey, don’t take it so hard,” Avery told me. “Yeah, if she came back, I’d be stoked, but I’m also happy for her that she no longer has to deal with Taylor’s insane ass or live in her father’s shadow. I’d be willing to bet, wherever they went, they’re really happy.”
“I hope so. I really hope they reach out to Nick again one day, too,” I said. “He doesn’t deserve to lose both his kids.”
For the rest of dinner, we took turns filling Seneca in on the insanity of the months prior to her showing up, and it gave us renewed appreciation for just being able to sit and enjoy a meal with no stress. Once we were full, we said our goodbyes and parted ways for the night, promising to hang out again soon, and I went home to rest up, looking even more forward to my date with Celia.
Chapter Eighteen
Celia
Laura and I moved back and forth across my old room, arranging things in a way that made it look nice and neat, but also like it had been lived in. There weren’t many clothes in the closet, so we hung some of hers up inside. We swapped out the bedsheets and scattered some shoes across the floor in the corner, anything to make it look like it was someone’s current bedroom.
“So, he doesn’t know that you don’t currently live here,” Laura said, “and you’ve mentioned that you take care of your godfather, but you haven’t mentioned who he is or where you actually live at all?”
“Right,” I replied, pulling some of the things out of my purse out and setting them on the dresser.
“Why? What’s the point of that? Why aren’t you just honest with him?”
“Because my godfather is weird, and I don’t need to mix those two up just yet, and besides, there’s nothing really all that sexy about bringing a man back to the same place where you change a different man’s diapers.”
It was partially true. Laura didn’t know anything about the lies I was feeding Harry or why, and I knew I couldn’t bring Harry back to Darrien’s place, because he’d recognize him and begin to figure out something was up. This plan only worked if Harry believed I was falling in love with him, the same way he was falling for me, and a woman who is falling in love brings their guy around their friends’ and back to their place. Harry wasn’t striking totally off mark when he called me out for downplaying our relationship. I was keeping him at a distance on purpose. I was still trying to tread a line between something casual enough that I didn’t feel bad, and serious enough to trick him.
But I needed to go all in.
If I was going to carry out my plan with Harry, I needed to turn up the heat, mainly because if I continued to see him, the feelings I was already developing that I knew I shouldn’t have were only going to get worse and everything was going to get more complicated. So as gross as it felt, I was pulling a wild card to truly convince Harry that I was in this for the long haul, so that when I suddenly pulled a switcheroo it would crush him. I had to do it hard and I had to do it fast.
I was running out of time.
“I suppose that makes sense,” Laura said. “You’ll tell him eventually though, right? Or better yet, just move back in with me, then it’s not a lie.”
She flashed me a toothy grin and I laughed. “Do you have any idea how much I would love to live with you again? I miss you so much. Even though I was having a really good time with Harry at the theme park, when I saw you guys, I was a little jealous that you were all together and I didn’t even know you were going.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, I probably should have mentioned something, but you’d already told me you were going out with Harry, so I didn’t,” Laura explained.
“It’s okay. It’s my fault for never being around.”
“Well, you’re taking care of Darrien and you’re working really hard, plus now you’re seeing Harry, too. You’re juggling a lot. It just made me happy to see you out and laughing. I feel like you do that so rarely. I’m glad he brings that out in you. Kind of like he’s taking care of you after you’re done taking care of everyone else.”
That sent a wave of chills through me. Harry had said that to me once, that he would take care of me that way. It felt good to hear and even better to experience. Once things were all said and done with him, I hoped I could find someone else like him who would be willing to take care of me in that way. In a way I needed.
“He’s kind of good at that,” I told her. “It feels nice and I feel like I take it for granted sometimes. Hopefully, this dinner will be a nice way of saying thank you.”
“Speaking of which,” Laura said, “I need to go check on the chicken. I’ll be back.”
“Okay.”
Laura walked out and I dropped down to sit on the bed. I glanced around the room, looking like I’d never left, and I had a twinge of frustration. It was such a simple room in a simple apartment, nothing like Darrien’s four-bedroom, three-bathroom house that I now had almost total reign of now that he couldn’t get to most places in his wheelchair, but even I had to admit that things were cold there. I distinctly remembered living with Laura during college and it was so much fun to have a friend nearby and not be pressured by this need for vengeance. Part of me wished I’d never agreed to do it in the first place, but I wanted my dad to rest easy knowing that his killer wasn’t going to just walk around unchecked for his behavior.
So even though it was hard, and even though I was developing feelings for Harry, I had to stay committed to the plan. I’d come too far to let it all fall by the wayside now.
I stood up off of the bed and walked out into the living room. “Okay. I’m gonna go get Harry.”
“Okay,” Laura called from the kitchen. “Dinner will just be getting done when you get back!”
