Page 42 of Bullet
“Wait,” one of my friends, Bryce, said. “Are you… Is this… Is this guy yourboyfriend?”
“Celia with a boyfriend?” another, Anna, added. “No way.”
“Yeah, come on, Celia doesn’t date. Not seriously anyway,” my friend Sharee told them.
Laura gave them all different glares before looking back at Harry. “Don’t listen to them.” She stuck out her hand. “Hi. I’m Laura, Celia’s roommate. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Harry shook her hand. “Nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you as well.” He looked at me. “Hey, spend a few minutes catching up with your friends. I’m gonna run to the bathroom.”
“Okay,” I said, and Harry turned around and walked toward the nearest bathroom.
“All right, spill,” Sharee said. “When you dumping this one?”
“Yeah. I’m shocked you’re even out in public with him,” another of my friends, Cydney, said. “Is it like a sugar daddy situation?”
“No, idiot, sugar daddies arewayolder or ugly or something,” Bryce snipped and then laughed. “If he’s young and good looking, it’s not sugar daddy, it’s just… daddy.”
Everyone fell out laughing and my face burned with embarrassment. Harry meeting my friends wasnotpart of the deal. I wanted him to know as little about my actual life as possible.
Because this was all just a ploy. Nothing real.
“He’s not really much of anything. I don’t have to dump him because it’s just casual to begin with,” I explained.
Laura crossed her arms. “Are youstillon this?”
“I’m not on anything. Harry is great, but it’s not like…a thing. We’re really closer to being friends with benefits than we are to being anything else.”
My heart sank as a body stepped up and stood next to me. I looked over and Harry had returned from the bathroom, much quicker than I was expecting.
He definitely heard me.
“Well,” Laura said, “we’ll go and let you guys get back to your… time. Call me later, C.”
“Okay, bye,” I replied. Bryce, Sharee, Cydney, and my other friends said their goodbyes and then they all walked away. I could feel the anger permeating off of Harry, but instead of addressing it, I pointed off toward a ride we hadn’t been on yet. “Should we head down this way next?”
“Celia,” Harry started, and I knew I was in trouble. “Let’s find a spot to sit.”
I got a horrible, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. “Okay.”
We walked to a bench nearby that wasn’t occupied and didn’t have many people standing right nearby and sat down. Harry was quiet for a long time, and I didn’t press the issue because I was already worried. Why did I feel dread like my boyfriend was about to break up with me and shatter my heart? I wasn’t in love with Harry. My relationship with him wasn’t real. He was a means to an end. That was what I kept telling myself, but I couldn’t shake the feeling away.
“Why did you say that to them?” Harry asked. “That we’re closer to being friends with benefits. Is that really what you think?”
“N-no…”
“Then why did you say that? Are you embarrassed to have me meeting your friends? You know my friends. You’ve had whole conversations with Avery.”
“No, I’m not embarrassed of you,” I replied.
“Then what? I don’t understand why you would say that, aside from it being true,” he said. I was struggling to find an answer, and he took advantage of my silence to keep going. “Look… I was going to wait to ask you this until after the date, but I’ve been getting this feeling from you.Thatfeeling, that what you said to them is exactly how you feel about us. I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, I just need to know that we’re, you know, going somewhere. That I’m not just a friend with benefits.”
My throat knotted up. What I wanted to say to Harry, more than anything in that moment, was that he wassomuch more to me than a friend with benefits, but he shouldn’t be that, so I didn’t. My mind reeled for something better to say, but nothing came to mind. I opened my mouth to just try and force something out, anything out, but nothing came.
Harry’s head dropped in defeat and I knew that I’d messed up. “Harry…”
He held up a hand. “Don’t. At least you didn’t ghost me this time.”
Ouch.
