Page 17 of Bullet
“Fair is an interesting word to use,” he replied. “I understand why you distrust women. I think anyone would, given everything you went through, but I don’t know that I would consider it fair.”
“How come?”
“Well, because not all women are like your mother, or even that judge or cop who looked the other way when you were being abused or when your father died.” He cleared his throat. “There are some really good women out there.”
People like Celia and Seneca came to mind. “I may have recently learned that total strangers hate me because of my reputation, and even a bunch of guys at the club don’t agree with my philosophy.”
“Well, most people love their mothers. Or they have sisters, girlfriends, even wives that they love and believe in. It’s like I said, there are really good women out there. You just got dealt a really bad hand. You’ve struggled to trust women and I couldn’t blame you, but I did try and snap you out of it. There were a lot of women whodidcare about you. You had teachers that were worried about you, and my mother loves you like her own grandson.”
“Yeah,” I replied.
“It’s not as if you just pulled this stuff out of thin air though, Harry. If you’re feeling bad about it now, that’s good, but don’t expect it to all go away in one day. Just work with it, you know? Think about it this way; you have a sibling out there somewhere, right?”
“That’s what I’m told.”
Cameron pointed his fork at me. “What if it’s a sister? Would you be okay knowing someone was out there treating her how you’ve treated some women in the past?”
My birth father was a man who honored women above everything. Even for all the abuse he endured from my mom, he never once put his hands on her. I made sure I was never abusive toward women, because I knew how disappointed he’d be if he were still alive. But there were times I went out of my way to spite Tess. I even approached Colin when he first arrived and told him not to trust her, too.
“No,” I said finally. “I wouldn’t be okay with that.”
“So keep that in mind. Treat women how you’d want her to be treated,” Cameron said.
“Yeah,” I replied. “Thanks.”
“By the way, I spoke to the detective yesterday, but still no new news. Do you want to keep him on retainer? It’s sucking your settlement dry.”
“Yep,” I responded immediately. “I want him to keep looking until he finds my mom and we can save my little brother or sister.”
“You got it. I’ll send over the next wave of payments then.”
As far as silver linings were concerned, mine came in the form of an accident I’d been in about six years ago. For all the injuries I’d suffered, the settlement I got from the accident was large enough to support the hunt I’d been on for about seven years after learning my mom had another kid after I was finally removed from her care. Knowing my mother, that child was abused as I was, and I wouldn’t stop until I found them so I could save that poor kid from my fate, or worse, my father’s.
“Thank you, and thanks for this talk, too. It helped.”
“Actually, uh,” he snickered uncomfortably again. “It’s kind of interestingly timed.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, there’s a reason I called you over. I mean, I wanted to see you, too, don’t get me wrong, but I had to discuss something with you.” He pulled out his phone, flicked through it a little bit, and then passed it over to me. On the screen was a picture of a woman with rosy peach skin, short black hair, and a bright smile. “That’s Marisha.”
“Okay?” I said. “You’re trying to set me up on a date?”
His nose wrinkled up violently. “No! I’m… I’m dating her. Well, more than that. She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh…” I said. “Wow.”
“Yeah. I deliberately didn’t date when you were growing up, for the aforementioned female-trust issues, but I met her at a gas station of all places. I’d just bought my new car and didn’t know where the stupid gas button was. She saw me struggling and came over. All I had to do was push it, so I feltprettydumb, but I got to meet her, so it all worked out.”
My brow furrowed at the story. “Your new car? You bought your new car like a year ago.” His gaze drifted downward and my shoulders slunk a little bit. “Oh.”
“Yeah. She’s so amazing. Really, Harry. I know you have your hang-ups or whatever, but I really do think you’d like her. She’s been talking about moving in together and I…” He sighed and then reached into the pocket of his apron and pulled out a little black box and set it on the table. “I’m madly in love with her, bud. Like the kind that’s in movies. I want to propose, but I don’t want to do that without you meeting her. I’d love it if you approved of it. She’ll be your new mom, kind of.”
I was quiet for a really long time. All the words fluttered around my brain and I wasn’t sure which ones terrified me more. “Meeting her”, “Approved”, “New Mom”. They were all scary.
But Cameron had done so much for me and had given up a lot. I owed it to him to give it a shot. “Okay,” I told him.
“Yeah?”
